Nothing Else Matters
by LifeBringsMeOnlyTears
Summary: Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return. It wasn't her only choice, but was it the best? Rogue/Logan
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: ****Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership over them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**

**_Nothing Else Matters- _Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? ROGAN**

* * *

**_-Nothing Else Matters-_**

His words were like an arrow into my heart. It sounded so cliche, but it didn't make the aching hurt any less. In fact, if anything, it made it hurt all the more. The moment he'd brushed me aside and said I was still _just a kid_ my whole world had stopped spinning.

For so long I had just stood there watching all of the heartache and need burn inside of him like a smoltering pot of iron ore. For so long I had watched as his eyes wandered and heart wandered to every woman in the Mansion. Every woman but myself.

And I thought that finally the time was right to share it all. To share all of the things that I'd secretly hoped and longed for on the many cold and dark nights while I'd huddled under the blankets and stared blankly at the ceiling. The secret dreams that I'd held dear that had somehow managed to help me through the grueling waking hours that threatened to destroy my resolution.

Without a second's hesitation he had forced me to eat my words with a wave of his hands. His eyes had grown large and his lips had thinned as he shook his head violently and stepped away from me. He had taken my dreams and shattered them; along with my heart. And the poor fool didn't even realize the damage he had done as he swept out of the room and I forced him out of my life.

"If he don't want meh than Ah don't want him," I made the painful decision as I stormed away from the scene of the heartbreak and to my room.

He had been distant since the night I had left to seek my freedom from my curse. He hadn't tried to stop me from taking the one risk that could eventually be the one thing to free me from the binds that held my soul captive. He had only told me that it was my decision to make, and that he knew I'd make the right choice. I had wanted him to tell me the right thing to do, but he said that it wasn't his place.

And the moment things had died down he had glanced upon my smiling figure with a face filled only with disgust and disappointment. I had committed a sin and royally screwed myself up in his eyes. I was a disgrace to him.

"And Ah did it fah him," I refused to let the tears fall as I grabbed a duffel bag out of the closet and quickly began throwing as many clothes as I could fit inside of it. I had very little, so it was easy enough. "Ah don't need this," I kept telling myself over and over again as I slipped out of the room and walked down the darkened hallways toward the door that would lead me to my freedom.

The entire house was quiet and it seemed as though everybody was in bed. Which was a good thing. I wasn't in the mood to say any heartfelt goodbyes, when the truth was that there was only one person that I would actually think about after leaving.

_That's a lie._ So I would occasionally think about Bobby and his attempt to warm my frigid heart. But, he didn't realize that his own frigid hands would do no good. And when he had turned to Kitty, no tears fell from my eyes. In fact, the only thing I had felt was relief. I hadn't cried a tear over the boy that had tried so hard to make me happy.

And yet I'd cried for days on end about the man that didn't give a rat's ass if I was dead or not.

I took another deep breath as I slid on a thin coat and rested my hand on the doorknob of the front door. Freedom was just on the other side, and the only thing that I could hear was the pounding of my heart ringing in my ears. "It's not uh mistahke," I whispered to myself as I took one last deep breath and opened the door.

I stepped outside and shut the door quickly behind me as I glanced down the drive toward the huge gates that caged the entire household in. It was the last thing caging me inside.

I crossed the drive quickly, my feet barely making a sound on the pavement as I approached the gate with my eyes firmly set upon it. Everything inside of me was torn and aching, and even though I felt like my heart had been ripped in two, I knew that escape was the only option.

So minutes later I found myself outside of the gates and looking in, and everything sank in. I was leaving the School, and there was nothing more to it. The man inside that had promised to protect me was nothing but a liar, and he didn't deserve my goodbyes.

"He doesn't love meh," I sighed as I turned my back on the school, not realizing that the man in question was watching me from a balcony with his emotions torn in two directions. "Ah guess nothin' else really mahtters," a few tears slid down my cheek as I left the only place I'd ever thought of as home.

Alone and empty inside.

* * *

**A/N: Metallica has a way of making me a sentimental person. I'm not a Rogue/Logan shipper, but this is what happens when you listen to some downer music. Review.**


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership over them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**

**_Nothing Else Matters_- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving _was _her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N: This started out as a one shot, but out of the blue I decided to continue with it. Somehow the idea has evolved in my head. So, I've decided to continue it and hopefully it will turn out to be a good story. This chapter takes place roughly a year after the first one. The next one will get into what Rogue's been up to and where's she's been. I have no idea how long this thing is going to be, so deal with it, okay? I'm only working on one other story at the moment, so maybe this will get out sooner rather than later.**

* * *

**-_Nothing Else Matters_-**

**CHAPTER TWO**

It was over a year before I found myself standing outside of the gates that had once caged me in. Even through the nights were I had cried myself to sleep in a dank apartment, crying out for just one bite of food or one more sip of whiskey, I had never thought I'd found myself back in front of those symbolic gates yet again. The same duffel I'd taken with me hung limply from my right hand as I calmed myself, breathing in and out slowly and watching my breath fog in the air. My left hand reached up hesitantly as I wrapped my fingers around the old iron loosely.

_Ah can't believe Ah'm back here_.

Unlike the night that I had left a year ago, the gate was securely locked and there was no way in unless someone from the inside pressed a simple button. I looked at the call box with trepidation coursing through my cold veins, knowing that I would be better off freezing to death than asking anyone inside for help. But, somewhere deep down inside I had realized that I had no other choice. So, with that thought in mind I lowered my left hand and quickly pressed the button that would call to whomever was inside and draw their attention to my presence.

I stood there in frozen animation as I waited for someone to respond. It was already late, and I could tell by the lack of lights that everyone had more than likely retired for the night. Just as I'd made up my mind to give up if someone didn't answer my call in ten more seconds, a familiar voice rang out over the small black box.

"Xavier's School for the Gifted," her melodic voice rang out. "Can I help you with something?"

It amazed me that despite everything she had been through, Ororo Munroe was able to hold her head high and carry on as the Headmistress of one of the most controversial schools in the entire country. Although Xavier's wasn't the only known school for mutants, it was the most publicized and sought after in both realms, mutants and humans alike. "Miss Munroe?" I hadn't been her student for over a year and still I found it necessary to refer to her as a superior?

There was nothing but silence on the other side for a few moments and I feared that she'd realized who I was and had decided to turn on the security. I knew for a fact that if she did that I would never be able to make it off of the school grounds with all of my limbs intact. But, then she spoke again.

"Rogue? Rogue, is that you?" disbelief filled her voice and I pictured her standing in her robe and staring at the intercom inside. "What on earth are you doing here, child?" there was not only surprise in her voice, but also a thinly cloaked layer of disbelief. I knew that coming back after everything that had happened would be not only risky, but also damning.

I opened my mouth to speak but found myself staring at the intercom with a newfound feeling of hatred. "The fuck if Ah know!" I let go of the button and turned on my heel in one swift motion. I could hear her voice calling out to me in an urgent tone as I ran down the lane with the duffel hanging off of my shoulder.

It had taken me a week of living on the street to finally decide that going to back to the Institute was my only real option. But, I'd known, even then, that it would turn out to be a mistake. I'd left with the intent of never returning, and by doing so I was only asking for trouble. It didn't make the pain that filled me inside any less harmful, however. If anything it made me feel worse about the situation that I was in.

I had nowhere to go, no money in my pockets, and it was supposed to be below freezing outside by midnight. I'd trusted few things in my life, but if the chill in the air was any indication, the meteorologist had been right. Garbed in jeans, a sweater, boots, gloves, and a thick green jacket just wasn't going to cut it tonight. At least back in the city I could find a soul willing to share a spot of their Jack to keep me warm on the colder nights. But, back in Westchester county I was completely on my own. I had no one to turn to, not that I'd actually had anyone that I could rely on in the city. But, homeless people tended to stick together there.

My feet somehow dragged me far enough away from the Mansion that I was nearly positive that it was safe enough to stop for the night. The seldom used highway was hardly the place to stop, but my body was too worn out and cold to carry me any further. The woods surrounding the highway looked less than welcoming, but I found myself walking off of the snowy payment and trudging through the shin-high snow to a large tree that seemed to be beckoning me forth. It was slightly hollowed out, providing just enough room for me to half lay-half sit inside of it semi-comfortably. Part of my mind wondered if it was oak or cedar, but the rest of me was simply glad that it retained some heat. I used my old duffel as an uncomfortable pillow as I curled my body into a ball and tried desperately to slip into unconsciousness.

But, the cold proved to be more demanding than my tired body. I shivered so much that my teeth rattled in my head, giving me a headache as I struggled to bury my face in the lumpy duffel. Every night over the past year had ended with at least a few tears being shed, and it seemed that tonight was no different. I curled there inside of that tree and let my grief overtake me, swallowing the lump in my throat, and allowing the tears to fall. Crying has always been viewed as a sign of weakness, so when I finally drifted off I hated myself for being weak.

When I opened my eyes it was bright out. The sun was shining through the gathered snow clouds and it was magnified off of the bright snow that had evidently fallen through the night. It was thicker than it had been when I crawled inside of the tree, and seemed that much more natural and graceful. I covered my eyes slightly as I climbed out of the tree and stretched my arms up over my head. Hitching a ride in the back of a short bed truck had been more comfortable than the night I'd just spent.

But, I put those thoughts aside at the sound of an approaching vehicle.

Through the night I hadn't heard a sole sound, not even the sound of the wildlife that I knew was more than likely hibernating in the woods around me. But, the sound of the approaching vehicle seemed eerie, almost unnatural. _Gotta get the hell outta here somehow,_ I thought to myself as I slung the duffel over my shoulder and sprinted toward the road. I slid slightly, the worn boots on my feet providing little traction in the thick snow. My ears perked up as the roar of the engine grew ever closer, and my heart soared when a small sedan flew around the far curves and grew ever closer to me.

Taking a risk that seemed to be my only option, I stuck my thumb out and watched the car as it approached. It grew ever closer and deep down inside I feared that it would not stop and that I would freeze to death less than an hour away from the place that I'd run away from twice in my life. But, then the car suddenly pulled to the side of the road and the driver's side window rolled down and a friendly face came into view.

"Where you goin' on a cold mornin' like this, honey?" a woman that appeared to be in her late sixties addressed me with a mouthful of slightly crooked teeth. Earmuffs covered most of her head, but tufts of white peaked out from underneath a large tobaggon of gray and gold. She had a grandmotherly face that all little girls connected with, and so I found myself smiling warmly at her. "Where are you going, dearie?" her breath fogged in the air as she gave me a once over and sighed almost silently.

"Anywhere," I tried to keep the Southern drawl out of my voice but found that it was an impossible task. "Ah ain't got any money and nowhere t' go," it hurt to admit to another living soul that I was completely without means. "Anywhere would be appreciated."

She hesitated for only a moment before her left hand reached out and I heard the sound of the automatic doors unlocking. "Well, in that case I guess you should climb in. It's simply frigid outside!" I quickly moved around the side of the car and climbed into the passenger seat, squeezing my duffel onto the floorboard between my freezing feet. She looked over at me as I struggled to put the seatbelt on, but soon she had put the car back into gear and we were moving down the road at a smooth pace.

"Ah can't thank yah enough," I looked over at her as she calmly turned the heat up and turned the radio down. I glanced in the backseat and smiled at the sight of a large, sleeping dog. "Nice dawg ya got there, ma'am," the large golden retriever opened one eye lazily and looked at me before letting out a sigh and going back to sleep.

"Some watchdog, huh?" she chuckled as she reached behind her seat with her right hand while keeping her left firmly on the wheel. "Old Lucky just gets so bored and tired after traveling for such long hours. I knew the moment that I pulled over and he didn't bark his blasted head off that it was okay to pick you up. I guess you could say that you passed the security check," she grinned at me as she pulled her hand back forward and produced a large bag of homemade jerky. She dumped it in my lap before reaching behind her again and placing an opened bottle of water in my lap. "I'm Tessie, dear."

I barely heard her speaking to me as I stared at the jerky in my lap, my mind swarming with memories that still haunted me. "Ah'm Rogue," I murmured as I slowly opened the ziploc and grabbed a piece of the jerky. I was almost surprised when she reached over and opened the vents on my side a bit more so that I got more of the direct heat. Unlike the first encounter I'd had with Logan, she made no move to touch me. The jerky had a good taste, but I didn't taste much of it as I scarfed as much down as possible. "So where are yah going, Tessie?" I asked, taking a sip of the water as I looked through the windshield.

She was heading away from the Institute, and that's all that really mattered to me.

"I'm traveling south to visit a few friends of mine, actually. You can travel with me as far as you like, but I'm on a tight schedule," she glanced at me out of the corner of her eye and I found myself relaxing inside of the warm atmosphere that her car provided. After a few moments of comfortable silence she turned on the radio and we listened to Conway Twitty sing about his cowboy blues.

The miles passed by quickly as I stared blankly at the scenery and tried to figure out what in the hell I was going to do next. I hadn't thought past getting to the Institute. _Maybe Ah should try goin' back_, I thought to myself with a frown. I knew I'd overreacted, but going back there in the first place had obviously been a huge mistake. "What are we doin'?" I asked as the car slowed down and I was jerked back to reality. My eyes darted around the outside of the car and I realized that Tessie had pulled into a filling station.

"This is the cheapest place to stop, dear," she unbuckled her seatbelt and reached into the back and grabbed a large pocketbook. "Would you be a dear and let Lucky run for a few minutes while I pump and then go pay for it?" she smiled broadly at me, her twinkling gray eyes causing me to smile in spite of myself.

"Of course, Tessie," I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed out of the car. I stretched my arms over my head and watched her place the nozzle in the car before she disappeared inside of the small building to pay. I opened the back door and managed to grab Lucky by the collar before he could lick my face. "Don't want y' to get hurt, boy." His leash was sitting on the floorboard in the back, so I quickly grabbed it and hooked it onto his collar before leading him over to a large patch of grass.

He was a giddy dog, causing me to laugh as he ran around me in circles a few times. He quickly did his business and we spent the rest of the time simply playing in the snow. After a few minutes I looked back at the car and realized that Tessie still hadn't come outside. _Probably in the john_.

I led Lucky back to the car and shoved him in the back, ignoring the way that he pouted in my direction when I shut the door on him. I walked back to the gas pump and pulled the nozzle out after noticing that it had already finished pumping, probably long ago. With a sigh, I tightened the scarf around my neck and walked toward the small building. "Tessie, yah okay, ma'am?" I called out as I reached for the door.

"Don't come in here!" the hairs on the back of my neck bristled up as her voice shouted out to me. All of my training as an X-Men went out the window as I jerked the door open and rushed inside. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the light, but when they did I felt my stomach do a back flip mimicking that of a national gymnast. "Rogue, get out of here!"

Tessie was kneeling on the floor, her hand behind her head. Another man, one I judged to be the operator of the filling station, was laying on the ground in front of her. I was no expert in medicine, but if the blood around him was any indication he was long dead. "Holy shit!" I squeaked as the shotgun pointed at the back of Tessie's head lifted and was pointed at my chest. A man stared down the barrel at me, his eyes completely black. He stood tall, at least seven foot, and looked to be just as wide. It took me a moment to realize that he was probably a mutant. "Look, Ah don't want any troubles, so lets just be peaceful about this," I fought hard to maintain my calm as I lifted my hands defensively.

"Get on the floor, you stupid bitch!" the man's harsh voice only made his rude words even gruffer. He shook the shotgun in his hands before pointing the muzzle at the floor. "Get on the fucking floor with your granny before I blow your fucking brains out!"

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that the receiver of the phone sitting on top of the counter was off the hook. If I strained, I knew that I could hear a voice bleeding through. "Ahright, just don't hurt anyone," I walked forward slowly, keeping his eyes on me as I slowly began to lower myself to the floor.

Sirens came to life as the man's attention was jerked away from me and instead to the front of the store. He shoved past me, pushing me into a chip display, and stormed out the door. "We have you surrounded!" a voice bellowed out over a megaphone. _This day is too crazy, _I couldn't help but think to myself. Just minutes ago I was riding in a quiet car with a kind old lady that was helping me. She didn't even know that she'd probably saved my life. With that thought in mind I walked over to her and helped her to her feet.

"Ya fucking pigs!" the armed man shouted as I turned in time to watch him shoot blindly at the cop cars sitting outside. They warned him that if he didn't drop his gun that he would be taken out, so he got the bright idea to run back into the store. Tessie and I dropped to the floor and covered our heads with our hands as bullets whizzed all around us, causing bags of chips to burst and treats to explode. "Get up here, bitch," Tessie let out a squeal as the man dragged her up by her hair and toward the front of the store.

Struggling to my feet, I reached out toward him and grabbed him by his ankle. He let out a growl of annoyance before he teetered forward. Tessie let out a shriek as a single shot rang out and both of them fell forward in a heap. On my knees, I crawled forward and shoved him off of her and realized that somehow the gun had went off. The way that he was carrying it had caused it to shoot him through the side, but it appeared as though the shell had went right through his thick side and into Tessie's chest. "Oh Gawd!" I shouted, not comprehending why blood was oozing out of her chest and her eyes were closed.

I didn't even notice as the police officers swarmed inside of the building and apprehended the man that had apparently attempted to rob the place. Two men shoved me out of the way as they attended Tessie, but after a few moments they placed a white sheet over her and left her body on the floor. _What have Ah done?_ thoughts swirled inside of me as someone helped me to my feet and I was let outside of the building. A number of uniformed men talked to me, and somehow I managed to answer without giving much thought to the questions. But, after a few minutes it was too much.

"Ah can't deal with this!" I threw my hands up in defeat as tears threatened to spill down my cheeks. "Can Ah go now?" the officers shook their heads as one ran up suddenly and pointed a finger at me.

"Ma'am, according to your location in the store and evidence inside, we believe that you were shot!" he went on to explain that while shots were taken at the man, a number had went through the walls and embedded inside. "There is a shell in the exact place where you were at the time of the incident!" his eyes were accusatory as the cop nearest me suddenly let out a gasp and jumped to his feet.

I looked down at my stomach and realized what the commotion was about. Protruding just millimeters out of my skin, a thin 9mm bullet poked out from between the clothing that covered it. With a shaking hand I grabbed it and tossed it on the ground. It was obvious that it had struck me, and it should have killed me. "Ah have to go!" I shouted, turning away from the men as they shouted after me. Feeling completely trapped, I did the only thing that I could think of.

I stole Tessie's car and peeled out of the gravel lot without looking back.

The sharp turns that I had made during my long stay at the Institute seemed to come back to me as I flew around the curves at speeds exceeding ninety miles per hour. Lucky howled from the backseat as I screeched around one corner after the other. _Maybe they don't wanna hurt meh after all_, I let out a sigh of relief as I decided to slow the car down.

Unfortunately, at the same time that I pressed down the brake I hit a patch of ice and the car skidded out of control. In my confused state I found myself unable to correct the mistake and found that I was unable to bring the car to a stop. Without even thinking, I grabbed the dog behind me by the collar and pushed upward at the same time that the car slammed through the guardrail and into trees.

For a moment I thought that I was dead. But, as I landed lightly on the icy pavement I realized what had happened. Lucky whined as I let go of his collar and he nuzzled his head against my side. Tessie's car burst into flame at the same time that a found myself looking at the familiar sight of the Institute. _Don't it just fuckin' figure?_

I took a shaky step forward as the roar of an engine met my ears. My heart seemed to lurch in my throat as it grew ever closer. I tried to move off of the main road, but found myself frozen in place. When the bike roared into view, my world stopped spinning. I could see the surprise in his eyes as he skidded to a halt just a few feet away from me, the bike barely finding traction on the ice. He was off of the bike and running toward me even as I found myself taking a step back.

"Rogue?" his voice was rough as he suddenly gripped me by the arms, his eyes searching my face for any sign of harm. He looked to the side and saw the remains of the car before directing his attention to me again. "Ro said that ya were here last night, but I couldn't find ya anywhere. Are ya a'right, girl?"

"Ah'm breathin'," I muttered, jerking out of his grasp as I slid down and rested my chin on top of Lucky's head. He snuggled against me as I stared blankly at the booted feet of the man staring down at me. "I guess that's all that matters."

* * *

**A/N: So what did you think? Is it worth continuing? I'd really like to see where this one goes and how our shattered Rogue will pick up the pieces of her life yet again. Please, be kind and review!**


	3. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**

**_Nothing Else Matters_- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving _was_ her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N: I can honestly say that I never expected much feedback on the previous chapter. I had this one done last night and I'm already finished with four. They're not quite as long as chapter two, but I think that they really get the mood across. I'd like to take the time to thank all of you for reading because I really appreciate it. Chapter two's been read far more times than it's been reviewed, but it's all good in my book. Thank you to my reviewers: **_Empress of Dune, PyroWhore, grae, Bambi McBarbie, JC Roberts, _**and **_dulcesweet._

* * *

**-_Nothing Else Matters_-**

**CHAPTER THREE**

I had no idea what to say to any of them as they stared blankly at me. I sat in the middle of the Professor's old office and twiddled my thumbs, trying to ignore the sensation that their gazes had on me. But, it was nearly impossible. Logan hadn't said a word to me as he'd dragged me up to my feet and pulled me into the School. Lucky had followed quickly behind, but the dog was forced to remain outside while I faced the Gauntlet alone. Everyone around me had remained extremely quiet as they grouped into the room, but I couldn't help but feel that every single one of them had judged me before Miss Munroe had even started the questioning.

"Rogue, who's car was that and what happened?" as the Headmistress of a school that housed so many young mutants, Ororo Monroe had perfected the calm, but stern voice that could turn tough bullies into puddles at her feet. Fortunately, I had a thicker skin than the pitiful fools that found themselves at her mercy time after time. So, while she scrutinized me with a raised brow, I merely stared at the carpet and wondered if it had been replaced in the last decade. "Rogue, are you even listening to me?" she seemed completely flabbergasted as to why I would choose to ignore her when she chose to address me as a criminal, as a child.

"Miss Munroe, Ah'd appreciate if yah'd give me a bit of air t' breathe. The car belonged tah a woman named Tessie," I told them as much as I could about what had happened since the woman had picked me up on the side of the highway. I kept my gaze fixed upon the floor, but I could feel their gazes shift away from me a few times during the short explanation. I tried to skip over the reason that I'd left the scene of the crime, but it didn't work out too well. "They harassed meh and Ah took off. Then Ah hit tha ice and Ah'm here. Yah know the rest."

I looked up as Ororo stood up and walked around the massive desk. She rested one hip on its surface and eyed me lazily, her gaze slipping over me cautiously. "Emma's already spoken to the authorities, Rogue. Would you care to explain why the police officers present claimed that you were shot?" the room was dead silent as I took a moment to glance around at those present.

The billionaire Warren Worthington had shown up before I'd left, but I hadn't really expected him to stick around. He was sitting across the room with a thin Asian woman with long locks of violet hair. The two of them seemed to find my very presence insufferable as they continued to shift their eyes away from me and stare at anything but my tattered form. _Snobs_.

Robert Drake, my old Bobby, was sitting in a chair next to a small and timid looking Kitty Pryde. The two had their hands linked and were openly staring at me. I saw no contempt or hatred in their eyes, however. Only interest.

Ambassador to the UN, Hank McCoy sat poised on the edge of a straight back chair with his spectacles perched on the edge of his nose. Throughout the short interrogation he had watched me like a hawk, as if waiting for the perfect time to interrupt. Now, however, he simply seemed to be saddened, or perhaps tired.

Old Piotr Rasputin was sitting in the chair next to him, his expansive girth threatening to cause the chair to collapse at any moment. His kind blue eyes met mine from across the short distance and a warm smile crept over his features. He may have appeared to be a giant, but I knew that Peter had the heart of a saint.

Logan, as was usual for him in an uncomfortable situation, was leaning against the wall and staring blankly out the window. When he had first caught sight of me outside he had reminded me of the Logan I knew and deeply loved. Nothing but worry had filled his eyes at the sight of me. But, he'd already returned to the cold hearted bastard that I'd learned to loathe over the long months alone. _If he wants to ignore meh, fahne._

And last, but apparently far from least, a slim woman wearing nothing but white was sitting in a chair near Bobby. Her hair, an ash blond, spilled over her shoulders. She sat, poised, with the air of an aristocrat. When her icy blue eyes met mine, I somehow instantly knew that _she_ was Emma. She crossed her legs and raised her brows in my direction, as if urging me to answer Ororo's question.

And so I did.

"Well, Ah imagine that they said that 'cause it's true, Miss Munroe. Yah see, Ah didn't know Ah was shot until they told me," I shifted my gaze back to her in time to see her eyes widen fractionally. She was either surprised or confused, probably a combination of both. "Listen, Ah thought that comin' back here was mah best bet, but Ah think Ah'd be betta off on my own in tha streets."

"The streets?" Bobby bellowed, his outburst surprising not only me. "Rogue, what do you mean?"

"Well, yah see, Bobby, life ain't perfect," I shook my head and stood up. "Ah ain't gonna deal with this shit. Ah'm out o' here."

No one dared stop me as I stormed out of the room. The thin green jacket I still wore bellowed out behind me poetically, barely brushing the back of my calves. The School was exactly how I remembered it, so it was easy to find my way out of the Professor's office and to the door that once gave me my freedom. My hands were shaky by the time I reached that door, but I knew that I had no other choice. I reached out hesitantly, drifting back to a time when I'd walked out and sworn I'd never look back. But, I had. I'd never made a decision in my life and stuck with it, and the thought alone drove me crazy. _Ah hate this_.

"Honestly Rogue, where will you go?" I didn't turn as her voice met my ears. Although we'd never been friendly, Kitty Pryde had always struck me as a nice girl. She was well mannered, polite, and generally had a smile on her face. So when I turned to face her, I was surprised to see a grim look of disgust on her face. It punched me somewhere deep inside that I thought I'd finally lost: my pride. _Who is she to judge me?_ I found myself balling my fists at my sides as she shook her head slowly. "Rogue, there's no reason to storm out of here when you know that you have nowhere else to go. Please, just stay and give the Institute another chance."

The fact that she had tried to talk to me like a human being instead of a helpless child settled on me gently. Part of me wanted to smack the indignant look off of her perky little face, but the rest of me was glad that she'd stopped me before I'd opened that door. "Ah don't belong here, Kitty. Can't yah understand that? Ah know Ah ain't got nowhere tah go. Yah have no idea how hard it was fah me to actually come here. Ah ain't welcome."

"You're welcome, but we'd still like to understand exactly what happened," Ororo stepped forward, her delicate arms crossed over her chest. She must have followed Kitty, but I was too engrossed with the girl's comment to realize that she was present. "There are rules here that have to be obeyed, young lady."

Unfortunately for Logan, he chose that moment to brush past the two women in front of me and through the front door. His shoulder shoved against mine and I, unfortunately, bumped into the wall. Something inside of me that I could only refer to as my _dark side_ burned as I stormed out of the house just feet behind him. He was walking down the drive to his bike when he realized that I was following him. He turned slowly and looked down at me with a blank expression and eyes filled with disgust. "Yer staying, kid, and that's all there is to it," that being said, he slid onto the silver Harley that wasn't his and caused the bike to roar to life.

Ororo was standing behind me, her voice calling out to me even as I balled my fists in annoyance. All thought left my body as I jerked my hands forward and grabbed Logan by the cuff of his flannel shirt. His eyes widened in complete surprise as I lifted him into the air with a hiss before I spun in a complete circle and launched him over my head toward the gate like a Frisbee. He sailed through the air like an adamantium-clad angel, his arms waving about him wildly as he tried to figure out what was going on. Logan, being the man that he was, didn't cry out. Instead he howled a few times like a wild animal as he started to make his descent toward the ground. All I could do was smile as Ororo rushed forward and watched Logan slam into the road just outside of the School's gate.

I knew that I should have been more straightforward in telling everyone about my new powers, but something inside of me had come to life but died at the same time when Logan had looked at me like that. Even after all of the time we'd spent apart I knew that it would be rough seeing him again. Part of me hoped that even if I had actually made it back to the Institute that he wouldn't actually be there. It was rare for him to stay along for long stretches, so I'd been doubly surprised to see him roaring up the road toward me just half an hour ago. So with a smile that wasn't quite my own, I flew quickly through the air and landed daintily next to the growling man even as the golden retriever known as Lucky bounded after me. Flying was still a new experience for me, but as long as it wasn't for long distances I was okay. I stared down at him, but he avoided my eyes. Logan's impact had caused a human sized crater that would take a lot of asphalt to fill. There was a gash across the top of his forehead, but it was already healing.

"Sugah, Ah fahgot t' tell yah that Ah ain't tha kid Ah used to be," I managed to smile down at him. His eyes clouded over as I turned on my heel and walked back toward the school with a confidence that I didn't really feel.

_Ah'm a complete fraud._

* * *

**A/N: Okay, that's it for chapter three. Be sure to leave me a review to let me know what you think. I'm working on keeping Rogue as intact as possible, as she is my favorite X-Woman. I hope you'll all be patient in learning about Rogue's past as I tell it through her eyes. It's a bumpy ride, so hang onto your hats.**


	4. Chapter Four

_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

**_Nothing Else Matters_- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving _was_ her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N:**** I'm still surprised that this story is getting any feedback at all. I greatly appreciate it when my readers take the time to leave me a review. It means a lot to me. This story is going to get darker and focus completely on Rogue, but the next few chapters are basically setting the scene before everything hits the fan. Thank you to my reviewers: **_Empress of Dune, PyroWhore, grae, nevermindthebuttocks, JC Roberts, _**and **_dulcesweet._

_**

* * *

**_

_**-Nothing Else Matters-**_

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Walking through those hallways with a tattered Wolverine trailing behind me was the equivalent to the _walk of shame_ in any college fraternity. I clasped my hands at my sides as I stared at the floor in front of me, willing my feet to move despite the fact that they appeared to weigh at least four tons. Students, both familiar and unfamiliar, gawked at me with wide eyes as I followed closely behind the Headmistress. It seemed that classes were not the School's top priority since the moment that I'd crashed a car just outside of its pearly gates. It had never occurred to me before how homey the Institute felt to me. I could almost breathe a sigh of relief.

That is, if it weren't for the mumbling man behind me.

When Logan had tottered back to his shaky feet minutes ago he had let loose a growl that would have rattled Captain America himself. I'd found myself turning back to him at the same moment that he lunged across the distance between us and pinned me to the ground. My thoughts at the time had been to get away and to do it as quickly as possible. So, it came as no surprise that he was able to force me back into the School, especially after the little flying incident.

"Rogue, Hank has insisted that he perform a physical to ensure that you are okay," my thoughts were jerked back to the present when Ororo stopped in front of me and I nearly ran into her. She stared at me with calculating eyes and her lips pursed in frustration. She looked as professional and authoritative as I looked unprofessional and guileless. I felt minuscule compared to her, and that bothered me. At least on the streets everyone had something that another didn't. "He's requesting that you meet him in the Med Lab immediately," she gestured to the slightly hidden elevator that would take me to the lower levels of the Institute.

I avoided her gaze as I stepped inside of the small elevator and pressed the button that would take me down. Crossing my arms over my chest, I leaned back against the wall and waited for the elevator doors to slide shut. Unfortunately, my eyes met Logan's and I felt the anger boiling inside of me at the side. _What uh pitiful jackass_. I didn't even notice as a large figure slipped into the elevator just before the doors closed. I shook my head slightly in surprise as Peter's hulking figure towered over me in the small elevator. He smiled at me over his shoulder before staring blankly at the closed doors. Peter was well aware of the fact that his very presence was menacing, so I got the feeling that he was trying to make me feel a bit more at ease.

Sadly, it did little good.

I was still thoroughly pissed at Logan and could barely contain it enough to keep from turning the small elevator into a sardine can. It would definitely not be smiled upon by Ororo and the other uptight people that had already judged me, but at least it would be somewhat therapeutic.

"Plahyin' watchdog, eh Pete?" a southern belle knows how to turn off the animosity just long enough to charm even the snippiest scalawags. He turned in the small elevator, which was quite a feat considering that he stood almost seven foot tall in his unarmored form. His smile was genuine when he looked down at my huddled form, making me feel guilty for the dark thoughts in the back of my mind that had urged me to use his body as a battering ram.

"It vwas not my choice, Rogue." It seemed that no matter how long Peter lived at the Institute that his Siberian accent would never quite go away. Though almost unnoticeable unless he was angered or flustered, he seemed to almost stumble over the words as he looked down at me. We'd never been great friends, but I'd thought that we were at least close enough to understand each other. I was right. "I do not agree with Miss Munroe in how dat she is treating you, nyet. Is it true that you threw the Wolverine over the gate?" his blue eyes twinkled mischievously as the elevator came to a full stop and the doors slid open.

I followed him out of the elevator, walking side by side with the Russian giant as I once again relived the moment that Logan had flown from my grasp. "Yep Pete, Ah sure did," a genuine smile broke out on my tired face as he held the door of the Med Lab open for me and ushered me inside. The temperature inside of the room was considerably cooler than the rest of the house. I shivered inside of my coat even as the furry figure of one Hank McCoy dropped from the ceiling. I almost let out a gasp of surprise, but I managed to hold it back. "Miss Munroe sad yah wanted tah see meh."

"Yes, Rogue. I was hoping to draw some blood and check you over for injuries. You see, I was not informed of the circumstances that brought you here today and I think that a quick exam would be for the best," he nodded slightly toward an exam table on the other side of the room. His white lab coat billowed out behind him like a cape as he beckoned for me to follow him. I did, though slowly. I was in no hurry to get poked and prodded by the kind doctor. I hopped up on the table quickly, fighting the urge to swing my legs back and forth like a child when he asked me to take off my coat. "It may prove to be a bit more difficult than necessary to give you the exam if you insist on making me dig through all of those layers," when he smiled, this time, it was warm and soothing.

So, I nervously peeled off my coat and gloves before placing my hands in my lap. He eyed me critically before putting on a large pair of latex gloves and pulling out a blood pressure cuff. "Ah'm healthy as uh horse, Hank. Yah don't need tah do all this," but he chose to ignore me as he carefully took my blood pressure, checked my heart rate, and then checked my temperature. When he backed away from me and gave me a careful once over, I found myself bristling. "Ah told yah that Ah'm healthy!" He only narrowed his eyes in concentration as he turned toward a table before returning to my side with a syringe. "What's that fah?"

"We need to take a blood sample, Rogue," he muttered through thinned lips as he rolled up my sleeve and gently cleaned the area quickly. "When is the last time that you had a physical?" I stared over his shoulder at the hulking figure of Peter for reassurance. The Russian seemed to sense my uneasiness as he sent a smile in my direction before leaning up against the wall.

"Ah don't know," I admitted sullenly. "Ah didn't have much of a choice out in tha city. Ah went to the free clinics when Ah got sick, but they didn't do much," he nodded his head quickly as he pressed the syringe against my arm. "It ain't gonna work," I mumbled under my breath as I turned my gaze down toward the syringe that he held in his hand. "It ain't gonna work!" I shouted with more venom as the syringe broke in his hand like it was made of glass.

Jerking my arm away from him, I stared pointedly at a spot well away from Peter's head and refused to answer the blue mutant's questions. "Rogue!" when he grabbed me by the arms and shook me I realized that he was beyond serious. "I do not understand! It's as if your skin has grown so dense that nothing can penetrate it. Of course, I have seen something of this nature with mutants before," he released my arms as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Meanwhile, I couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't put that together when Ororo had announced that I'd been _shot_. "Tell me, how long have you been this way? I am going to hazard a guess and say that your DNA has mutated even further and that this strength you exhibited is directly related to this invulnerability that you are displaying."

"If yah woulda asked Ah woulda just told yah," I jumped off of the table and grabbed my coat hurriedly. I slid it on over my shoulders and shrugged into it as he continued to watch me. I slipped on the gloves as I met his gaze evenly. Surprise was evident in his eyes, as was a certain intrigue that only a doctor, or perhaps a scientist, could have. I'd seen that look before, and it wasn't at all comforting. "Don't look at meh like Ah'm some pet experiment," the words were harsh, even to my ears.

"Forgive me if I appeared to be doing so, Rogue," he shook his head slowly before he slid his glasses off with one hand and quickly brushed them off with his white lab coat before placing them back on his nose. "This predicament is just something that I was not expecting when Ororo informed me that you happened upon the Institute late last night. I was under the belief that you got the cure. So, you can see how this all has come as quite the shock to me."

Peter moved forward and quickly slipped my coat back off of me and held it in one arm. It was obvious that he didn't want me going anywhere before everything was sorted out. I couldn't blame him, but it irritated me that he would take it upon himself to do so. I narrowed my eyes in his direction before turning my attention back to the ape-like doctor eying me curiously. "Tha cure ain't fahever, Docta McCoy. It lasted only about three months fah meh. Ah..." I shook my head slowly. How was I supposed to explain the one thing that haunted me every night in my dreams to a virtual stranger? Neither of the two people in the room with me gave a rat's ass about me, and yet I was so close to just spilling out my innermost demons? "Ah guess it's just ah side effect from tha cure."

The excuse had worked on everyone else that I'd come across in the past eight months, but something told me that it might not work on the inquisitive doctor. But, much to my surprise, he nodded his head serenely in my direction and rested a calming hand on my shoulder. "I can only begin to understand how difficult the change must have been for you, Rogue. There are other mutants out there that are claiming that the cure isn't permanent, but I had no idea that it was so widespread. It may be a bit of a personal question, but how is your control? I've read reports that when their mutations came back, many had a newfound control over it that they never before expected."

I opened my mouth to speak, but found that no words would come out. I glanced down at my gloved hands as a crazed laugh bubbled out of my throat. _Why do Ah do this tah mahself?_ "Ah thought yah were supposed tah be observative, Doc," I held up my hands, noticing with a chuckle that they shook as much as I shook inside.

"Then I suppose that's a no," he murmured as Peter gently grabbed me by the arm and began to lead me out of the Med Bay. "Rogue, if you have any problems, please do not hesitate to let me know. I am here for you, my dear."

Although his voice was kind and the offer was genuine, I found myself immediately brushing the comment aside the moment that I stepped foot into the elevator. Peter still held my coat, so I huddled in the corner and kept my gaze on the floor in front of me. Part of me wondered what I had gotten myself into, and my mind shouted that I was only asking for trouble by risking everything. _If Ah stay, it can only get worse_.

But, I forgot about all of my inhibitions as Peter led me out of the elevator and straight toward the kitchen. A large spread was set out on the counter and I nearly collapsed in relief. I hadn't eaten anything for days before the jerky.

I knew if I took one bite that I wouldn't be able to pull myself away. I didn't want to be indebted to anyone in the Institute again, but I had no choice.

So, with a heavy heart I slid into a chair at the counter and shoved half of a sandwich into my mouth.

"Good?" Peter asked as he filled a glass with juice and sat it on the counter in front of me. "You looked like you haven't eaten in weeks, comrade."

I swallowed the lump of food slowly and took a drink. "Somethin' lahk that, Pete."

_Somethin' lahk that_.

* * *

**A/N: Things get interesting in the next chapter. I'll try to get it out as soon as I can. Feel free to leave me a review with your thoughts, comments, or suggestions!**


	5. Chapter Five

_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

**_Nothing Else Matters_- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving _was_ her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N:**** I'm still surprised that this story is getting any feedback at all. I greatly appreciate it when my readers take the time to leave me a review. It means a lot to me. This story is going to get darker and focus completely on Rogue, but the next few chapters are basically setting the scene before everything hits the fan. Thank you to my ONE reviewer: **_JC Roberts._ **What hapened to the rest of them?**

_**

* * *

**_

_**-Nothing Else Matters-**_

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Should I have been surprised by the fact that no one wanted to room with me? No. Was I surprised when Ororo led me to a room that was clearly only to be inhabited by one person? Yes. The moment I'd stepped foot inside of the small room I felt a part of me actually give up hope. It wasn't the worst place that I'd ever slept in, but I'd hoped that Xavier's would have thought better of one of its former students.

"Sure is comfy," I muttered as I spun around in a slight circle and nearly ran into the small bed. I tossed my coat over on the dresser and watched it slide off and hit the desk. Ororo, meanwhile, watched me with a blank stare from the doorway. "Ah guess even this is betta than the streets, eh Miss Munroe?" I'd only said it to get a rise out of her, and I was unfortunate enough to have succeeded.

"Rogue, I simply cannot believe that you are so stubborn that you actually proffered living on the streets wearing those filthy clothes as opposed to coming back here and actually asking for help!" her voice echoed in the small space and the effect seemed to surprise the weather goddess. Her throat visibly clenched as she lifted one hand and pressed it against clavicle and pursed her lips slightly before pulling her eyes away from mine and staring at the worn carpet. "I don't know what just came over me, Rogue. Please, try to understand that this is coming as quite a shock to all of us. When you left it was completely out of the blue and after a severely tragic incident for us all," when her blue eyes met mine a realization washed over me that I'd never considered before.

None of them had known the reason behind my leave because I'd told no one that I was leaving. Hell, only one person could have known to begin with. "Yah mean yah didn't know?" I didn't want to ask the question but it found its way out of my chapped lips as I brushed my tangled hair out of my eyes. Her hands fell to her sides as she shook her head slowly, indicating that my suspicion was dead on target. "Ah'm sorry fah leaving tha way that Ah did, Miss Munroe. But Ah had tah. Ah hope that Ah can stay here for awhile until Ah figure things out," I left the hope-filled statement hanging in the air, knowing that playing the _poor little ol' me_ routine would be my best bet to get on her good side.

"Of course you can stay here, child. After all, this is a school for mutants," she trailed off, her unspoken words saying more than those that actually found a path out of her parted lips. She seemed to hesitate for a moment before she looked over her shoulder and then back at me. "For now, lets consider this a trial basis, Rogue. I know that you're going through a lot, but this is still a school. The same rules are still intact and enforced. As you've already graduated, I'll expect you to help out around here to earn your keep. Check in with the other instructors or myself if you'd like to help out in a few courses. Otherwise you have free roam of the grounds and unchartered usage of all of its resources. I simply ask that you show everyone the respect that we've shown you."

She didn't bother to mention the fact that since I'd walked in the doors that all of the students were avoiding me like the bubonic plague. No matter how many layers of clothing separated me from the rest of the world, it seemed like I was a walking Midas. People always veered away from me at every turn, giving me strange looks out of the corners of their eyes as if to ward me off. I'd come to learn that my old classmates were now carrying the load as teachers. Well, most of them. I wasn't at all surprised to learn that Jubilee dealt with the younger students and taught in more of a preschool setting. Bobby, Kitty, Peter, and Jubilee all attended the local college, majoring in education of some sort. I suppose that when the thing that influences you most is your teachers, the X-Men, it isn't uncommon for your lifelong goal to be becoming just like them.

"Ah understand," I felt foolish standing there in my rags while she stood there in all of her glory. Never an unattractive woman, Ororo Munroe looked simply sophisticated in her black slacks and pale blue cashmere sweater. I found myself biting the inside of my lip as I fought the urge to look down at my tattered jeans and worn sweater. I'd only had one change of clothes left in the duffel bag, but they looked no better than the ones I wore. "Are any of mah things left from behfo?" I asked quietly, remembering that since I'd left with only a duffel that some of my things should be left.

But, the moment that her eyes narrowed and her lips thinned I realized that my clothes were, indeed, not still around. "I'm afraid that after a few months we had more and more students coming in. They were put to good use, Rogue," she tried to comfort me as she thought about my situation for a moment. "As you are well aware, new arrivals are given a small allowance for clothing and basic essentials. Tomorrow I will give you a credit card and you can go into town to get some things. Until then, why don't you just try to take it easy and settle back in? I know that it's going to be a rough ride, but I think that you'll be fine," the smile that graced her face was actually genuine, surprising me.

"Can Ah ask yah one thang?" her right brow rose slightly as she inclined her head toward me. "Do yah hate meh fah tryin' tah have a life, Miss Munroe?" When I had first heard about the cure on the news, I had rushed in to find Professor Xavier, Miss Munroe, Dr. McCoy, and Logan all lost in conversation over it. She had verbally put me down when I mentioned something about it, and I couldn't help but think that she looked at me differently from that moment on. The slight twitch in her cheek said it all.

"Mutants do not need to be cured, Rogue," her voice was almost a whisper as she reached up and stroked her ivory hair gently. "But, I cannot blame you for seeking something that would give you the one thing that you always wanted. I may sound like a hypocrite when I say this, but I think that you did the right thing in going for what you wanted and ignoring the opinions of others when it came to doing so. I am not sure what the past year had been like for you," she paused as I swallowed loudly and looked away from her, "but I hope that someday you will feel comfortable in sharing with me as I have always tried to share with you," she brushed a strand of her perfect hair back as she took a deep breath. "Well, I think that I'll leave you to get situated for the night while I go check on dinner. I'll see you downstairs later," she called out over her shoulder as she made a quick escape and disappeared down the hall.

I shut the door behind her before slumping down on the bed. It was lumpy, but it was better than a few thin newspapers. Before I'd left I had been rooming with Jubilation Lee. She was almost my polar opposite, cheery where I was down, perky where I was quiet, and laughing when I was frowning. At first we had clashed beyond any sort of measurement, but after only a few months we were virtually inseparable. I hadn't seen her yet and part of me wondered where she was at and what she was up to. A genuine smile that I'd thought my facial muscles would have forgotten actually livened up my face as I stood up and walked toward the door.

"Rogue!" I managed to jump back just in time to save myself from being brutally whacked by the door swinging in. The very perky Asian that I had just been wondering about was standing just feet from me, grinning like a lunatic and wearing a banana colored trench coat that only she would dare to pull off. "They just told me that you were back!" fireworks seemed to flow from her fingertips as she rushed forward and engulfed me in a huge hug. I stood there with my arms trapped at my sides for a moment before pushing her away as gently as possible. Unfortunately, it meant that she flew back a few feet and nearly landed on her behind. She staggered for a moment as her eyes widened, but she quickly recovered and shook her head. "Well, that wasn't _quite_ the way that I thought you'd react, Rogue! What's up with you?" she seemed shocked as I took a step back and tucked my hands under my arms and looked at her bright yellow boots instead of into her bright blue eyes.

"Hey Jubes," the joy that was rushing through me at seeing a friendly face was short-lived as I fought back the urge to pull her down onto the floor and cry my eyes out. She was one of the few people that used to listen to me carry on about how much I hated not being able to touch without really judging me, but now I knew that she wouldn't be able to understand. When my eyes met hers again, I felt as though some of the weight that had been on my shoulders was lifted and carried away. "Ah was just thinkin' about yah. How yah doin'?"

"I've been great!" she rushed into the room and bounced on the bed, tucking her legs underneath her as she pushed her large sunglasses back on her head and motioned for me to sit down with her. I did, but a bit more reluctantly than I would have liked. "I was like so freaking pissed when you just up and left like that, Rogue! Do you have any idea how much it freaking sucked to just like wake up one morning to realize that you were _gone_? I had no idea where you went and when I told the others they didn't even believe me! Then so much drama went down after the Prof's funeral that nobody could really find 'the time' to actually go out and search for you," I almost jumped when a few sparks flew from her fingertips. She offered me a smile in apology before she tucker her hands under herself and continued. "I know that we have a lot to catch up on but," she trailed off suddenly as her eyes roamed up and down my form. I squirmed, but managed to sit almost perfectly still until she'd finished. "Rogue, you look like hell. Do you know that?" the perfectly groomed girl seemed to be taken aback by my rumpled appearance.

"And here Ah thought Ah was ready to take on tha world as America's Next Top Model," I rolled my eyes dramatically, trying to slip back into the playful banter that had once kept us up for hours on end. It didn't work out quite as well as I'd hoped. "Yah think Ah can borrow some clothes till tahmorrow, Jubes?"

She grinned broadly at me as she hopped off of the bed and fled out of the room like her bum was on fire. I sat there, stunned for a moment, before I stood up and walked toward the door slowly. Before I'd even made it to the hallway she was running back in with a handful of clothes. "I think you'll be able to find something suitable in here for at least tonight," she began tossing things onto the bed and onto the floor, mumbling under her breath to herself as she went. I let out a disgusted squeal when a thong hit me in the face before sliding down onto the floor. She laughed as she looked over her shoulder and shrugged. "Sorry about that one," she winked before handing me a pair of sweats and a long sleeved white shirt. "I know that they're going to be tight, but it's better than nothin', right?"

"Raht," I nodded as I bundled the clothes into my hands and watched as she placed a pair of socks on my dresser followed by a pair of my favorite green satin gloves. "Yah kept mah gloves?" stunned, I watched her run a thumb over the worn gloves before she nodded her head. "Ah, Jubes, I missed ya!" cheer gushed through me as I pulled her into an awkward hug, laughing when she pulled away and wrinkled up her nose.

"Chica, you smell like a foot covered in dog crap," her face was priceless as her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared. "Here, go shower!" she picked up a small shower bag and placed it on top of the clothes piled in my hands. "Go!" she pushed me forward, literally kicking me out of my own room.

The stunned expression on my face remained as I walked down the hall toward the girls bathroom facilities. I passed a few familiar and unfamiliar faces, but I kept my eyes straight ahead and tried to ignored the muffled comments that people shared with their friends when they thought I was out of earshot. Luckily for me the bathroom was completely empty when I stepped inside. It was split into two sections: one side held long rows of bathroom stalls and sinks while the other was dedicated completely to shower stalls and large tubs. It was a rarity for anyone to take a bath, as they were out in the open. At least the showers were more private. _Too bad Ah ain't got mah own in mah room_, I grumbled to myself as I walked through the bathroom. I found myself slowing down near the cosmetic station that had always been one of the most popular locations in the entire girl's wing. It was stocked with make up, hairbrushes and combs of every size, dozens of curling irons and blow dryers. Unfortunately for me, I found myself staring up at the huge mirror that hung against the wall.

"Ah mah Gawd," I dropped the clothes on the damp floor as I felt my knees give out. I sank into one of the stools in front of the long counter and nearly toppled over as I stared at my reflection. I've never been a vain person, but the very sight of myself filled me with horror and shame. I pulled off my gloves with disgust, noticing that they were caked with dirt, before tossing them onto the floor as well. My bare fingers brushed over my dirty face, trailing down the streaks on both sides that were an after effect of crying the night before. My tongue seemed to swell as I brushed my fingertips over my hair and discovered how disgustingly tangled it was. "Ah look lahk Ah got a damned rat's nest!" my precious hair was the one thing that I'd always thought set me apart. Not in a negative way because the gloves were enough of a turn off for most people, but in a good way. The two thick stripes of white were even irrevocably tangled, mocking me with their disgusting existence.

Rage overtook me as I let out a hiss of breath and rummaged through all of the drawers in front of me before I found the one thing that I hadn't even realized that I'd been looking for. My eyes widened in complete surprise as I stared at the large shears in my right hand for a long moment. _Oh Lord_, I thought to myself as my hand moved of its own volition and the first large chunk of my hair slipped to the floor in a slow fashion. As I stared in the mirror, my hands moved around my head in a precise fashion, cutting out the tangles and changing my appearance with every snip. Blue eyes stared back at me for a moment as I dropped the shears and ran shaking hands over my newly cut hair.

"Ah'm gonna regret that in tha mornin'," I felt nauseous as I stood up and looked down at the pile of tufts of auburn and white hair that had once been firmly attached to my head. I balled my fists at my sides as I picked up my clothes and marched over to a shower stall. I managed to locate a clean towel before I stripped off my clothes, reminding myself to burn them later, and slid in under the scalding stream of water. Small tufts of my hair slipped down my shoulders as I scrubbed my head violently, ignoring the tears that streamed down my face.

It seemed to be just one bad thing after the next for me anymore.

* * *

**A/N: For those of you wondering, yes there is quite a bit of foreshadowing in this chapter. I find the fact that _nevermindthebuttocks_ hit the hair part right on target to be encouraging. The fact that I'm able to get the imagery and mood across really makes my day. I'll continue to update one chapter per day as long as I get them done. Please, review?**


	6. Chapter Six

_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

**_Nothing Else Matters_- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving _was_ her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N:**** I'm still surprised that this story is getting any feedback at all. I greatly appreciate it when my readers take the time to leave me a review. It means a lot to me. This story is going to get darker and focus completely on Rogue, but things are getting close to hitting the fan. Big time. Thank you to my reviewers: **_Empress of Dune, PyroWhore, nevermindthebuttocks, _**and **_Lizzi_

_**

* * *

**_

_**-Nothing Else Matters-**_

**CHAPTER SIX**

The sensation of wearing fresh clothing had not been lost on me. In fact, I found myself standing in my new room and running my fingers over the clean gloves with glazed over eyes. The clothes were a mite too small, but they smelled like something floral and felt soft against my bare skin. It was with a sigh that I pulled on the thick socks and then pulled on the green satin gloves that had been my favorite pair. Glancing at the small clock on the nightstand near the bed, I realized that it was probably long past time for dinner.

_Maybe Ah can eat in peace_, I thought to myself as I padded out of the room quietly. The boots that I'd worn were uncomfortable, but came in handy when spending nights out in the cold. So, I opted to burn them at a later date, instead wearing only the socks as I made my way through the halls and downstairs to the kitchen. I peeked inside cautiously; hoping that since I'd spent almost an hour showering that everyone would have already finished and moved on. I was almost correct.

"Hiding?" those familiar blue eyes met mine and I padded into the room quietly, keeping my eyes on the floor or glancing around the room instead of looking at him. Kitty was sitting next to him at the table, but Peter was seated at the counter, reading a newspaper and eating what appeared to be strawberry shortcake. "Rogue?" Bobby's voice filled with worry as I slipped behind the counter and dug around in the refrigerator for something suitable to eat. I'd stuffed myself like a pig at lunch earlier, but my stomach was still growling.

"Any more of that 'round here, Pete?" I rested my palms on the counter and leaned forward, staring down at the plateful of wonder sitting in front of him. A smile crossed the Russian's face before he dropped the paper and looked up to meet her eyes. His eyes widened in alarm as he dropped the gargantuan fork in his hand, causing it to clatter as it fell against the plate. "What's wrong, Pete?" I narrowed my eyes as his jaw dropped.

"Rogue, what in the hell did you do to your hair?" Bobby's voice assaulted me as he strode across the room in just a few steps. I pulled my gaze away from Peter quickly and looked at Bobby with a sense of dread. His cold blue eyes seemed to pierce right through me, but I met them evenly. "Rogue, your hair," he drifted off, his eyes softening as they swept over my face and focused on my now chin-length hair.

Nimble fingers brushed through the hair as I brushed it back. "Ah didn't know Ah had tah ask yah fah permission," I snapped, daring him to comment the audacity of me cutting my own hair. "Ah needed a change."

"Couldn't you have waited for a professional to do so?" Kitty asked, her voice carrying across the small space easily. Her hazel eyes were filled with intrigue as she drew my attention to her. "Not that it looks bad, but it's going to need some work, don't you think?" without another word Bobby slipped away and sat back down next to his girlfriend, his eyes never leaving my form as Kitty waited for my reply.

I personally thought that the look suited my new demeanor. It was jagged with my bangs longer than the rest of my hair. It looked fiercer, and less feminine than the longer style that I had worn for so long. "And here Ah thought it was lookin' good," Peter met my eyes as he swallowed the lump in his throat. I winked quickly at him and a slight look of relief passed over his features. _Did they think Ah didn't lahk it?_

"I think that I have all that is left of the dessert," Peter declared with a shrug of one massive shoulder. His eyes roamed over the counter as if he suddenly expected another plateful of the dessert to suddenly appear, but one did not. I quickly opened the silverware drawer and pulled out a fork for myself before resting my elbows on the counter and scooping up a bite. I raised a brow in his direction because he looked stunned. "Go ahead," he shrugged one massive shoulder yet again as I took the first bite of the delicious dessert.

The cake was a yellow butter cake, still warm to the touch. When paired with the cool strawberry topping, it was heaven in a mouthful. "This is wonderful," I licked my lips as he slid the large plate forward. "No, Pete, Ah ain't gonna take tha whole thang"

"He probably can't believe that you're still hungry, chica. I hear that you nearly ate us outta house and home earlier!" I licked the fork as Jubilation Lee sauntered into the kitchen like she owned it. Her blue eyes were shining as she took a seat next to Peter at the counter and helped herself to his fork. She took a large bite before grinning in my direction. "I thought that I was the only one special enough to eat off of your plate, Pete?" I found myself watching as she rested her hand on his arm softly. The action appeared to be completely nature, and one would have to be blind to miss the way his eyes seemed to come alive the moment that their skin met.

_Skin_.

"Dah, but I thought that perhaps Rogue would enjoy the dessert almost as much as you, devushka," the tone of his voice lowered only slightly with the last word, but I could tell that it was an intimate name that he held only for her. In return, her cheeks turned a rosy color and she took another bite, but it was smaller this time. "We were just asking Rogue why it is that she has cut off her long locks," he used his free arm to motion to me.

"Chica, what in the hell did you do to your hair?" her jaw dropped as the fork clattered onto the plate noisily, much like Peter had just moments before. The spitfire Asian had always worn her hair short, usually far shorter than mine was now. Hers was spiked, and looked great on her. "Did Logan like attack you or something?" she continued to stare at me as I fiddled with the fork and refused to meet her gaze.

"No, Logan didn't attack meh," I let out a short sigh. "Ah needed a change. What's so wrong with that?" if the look she was giving me when I looked up at her was any indication, there was a lot wrong with my abrupt decision to cut my hair. "'Sides, it's mah damned hair!"

"I know it was all tangled and a mess, but now we're going to have to stop at the hair salon tomorrow!" she pouted her lips as she brushed her hand over her face. Part of me wanted to laugh at the ridiculous shade of blue that she had painted her nails, but I managed to hold it in. "Don't we already have enough to do with having to worry about stocking your whole wardrobe?" her voice sounded defeated, but there was a gleam of mischief in her shining eyes.

_Gawd, this ain't gonna be good, _I thought to myself as I bit down on the inside of my lip. "It doesn't need that much work," I admitted quietly. It had surprised me when I'd emerged out of the shower to find that my hair looked as if it had been cut by a professional. Well, almost. "'Sides, Ah don't know how long Ah'll be here."

"Miss Munroe informed us that for the time being you're on the roster," Bobby spoke up from across the room. "That means you're going to have to be included in the Danger Room sessions. We have them every morning at seven and every other night at nine," the prep school boy that he was, Bobby evidently found it necessary to play the part of leader-in-training. After all, he didn't have Mr. Summers to look up to anymore. "She said that as long as you're here that you're going to be helping out with everything.

"How is it that Ah get _told_ what Ah'm doin' instead o' bein' asked?" I let out a huff of breath as I turned and tossed my fork in the sink before resting my hands on the counter again. "It's lahk bein' a kid again."

"Don't look like you've grown up to me, kid," the small hairs on the back of my neck bristled as the tall figure lumbered into the room with the swagger of a man who held no fear. His eyes swept across the room and he gave a curt nod to the pair sitting at the table, and then one to the pair sitting at the counter. His eyes never even flickered over my form as he pulled the cigar out of his mouth and stared down at Bobby. "What's this I hear 'bout Betsy finding a mutant down in Louisiana?" his tone was light, but I could tell that he was warring for a fight. His shoulders were rim rod straight and the muscles in his neck were tensed with anticipation. I knew if I looked closely enough that I would see that the silver of his adamantium claws would be just below the surface of his skin, just a mere millimeter away from breaking through completely.

"She said something about locating a powerful one, but he's virtually untraceable even through Cerebro," I found myself staring down at the counter instead of at Bobby and Logan as they conversed. But, I found myself wondering _Who's Betsy?_ "He moves fast, so at first she thought that maybe he was a teleporter. But, there have been recent reports of a lot of damage, so she thinks that it may go beyond that. She's requested that a team go down to check the situation out. He may be a danger not only to himself, but to others," it was strange to see _my Bobby_ actually acting like the adult he was. The last time I had seen him he was more interested in beating someone in a game of pool than he was in training. But now he had that certain aura around him that only a man with confidence could have.

I wasn't sure whether to be proud of him or disgusted. Scott Summers had definitely been his hero.

"She and the other three have been talking about it since dinner," Kitty interjected, her voice calm and very feminine. "It's the first time that Betsy's used Cerebro to do more than keep a telepathic link between us on a mission. I think that they want to be absolutely sure before they move in on something like this."

"Not that I can blame them," Bobby added serenely. "Imagine what a catastrophe it could turn out to be if we didn't have the right information."

It was quiet in the room, as everyone appeared to mull the information over slowly. I was personally focusing on the granite tiles that lined the counter exquisitely, considering how therapeutic it would be to peel one up and bash it over Logan's head. It took me a moment to move past the thought in my head and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Guess we'll see in the mornin' then," Logan muttered as he turned quickly, assaulting me with his fierce gaze. I found myself lost in their depths as I had hundreds of times before. He'd saved my life on more than one occasion, and I knew in my heart that he would always be my hero. How was it that I wanted to rip the man apart slowly one second, and stare longingly into his eyes the next? "What are ya lookin' at, kid?" he snarled, his lips curling up in disgust.

I instinctively balled my fists, gripping the counter top tightly. _Ah don't need this_, I kept repeating to myself as I narrowed my eyes in return. "Well, Ah personally think Ah'm lookin' at a sorry bastard. Well, Ah guess maybe Ah should say _uh sorrier bastard_ than tha one Ah knew. Damn Logan, Ah never knew yah hated me lahk this," tears threatened to brim in my eyes as he stared at me with animosity. "Ah used t' think that yah were mah hero, Logan," there was no need to mention that part of me always would, "but Ah see now that it was all some lie that mah mind concocted tah keep me lookin' forward tah somethin'. Sometimes Ah wish Ah had just rotted away in that bar in Laughlin City," the words flew out of my mouth with such venom that I felt my stomach coil tightly with regret.

It didn't matter that the statement was partially true. There had been a number of nights that I laid awake wondering what my life would have been like if I hadn't hitched a ride with Logan and his camper. But, I knew that it was a pointless line of thought because that single turn of events alone had set the course for my entire adult life. If I hadn't hitched a ride with Logan, I knew that I Sabretooth probably would have captured me and things wouldn't have been so pretty for me. I would have died up on that statue if Magneto had followed through with his plans.

It pained me to realize that the man had played such a huge role in my life without having ever volunteered for it. I'd never asked him to look out for me or to make sure that I was okay, but he did. But, then in the end he blamed me for the way that I grew to feel about him. _Ah'm always tha bad guy_.

"Ya know what, Rogue?" he bared his teeth at me before pointing his finger at me menacingly, "I wish the same damned thing. If I hadn't met ya, I wouldn't have had all that shit on my plate. Yer the damned reason that I'm here now! I should've just left yer ass on the side of the road, freezing in the cold," his voice was so cold and void of emotion that I found my already broken heart shattering within me.

"Fahne, if that's how yah feel," my tense fingers relaxed only slightly as I pulled my hands away from the counter and walked as slowly out of the room as I could manage. I was only a few feet out of the kitchen when the tears began to fall and I heard Jubilee belittling Logan. I almost went back inside and told him everything right then, hoping that he would see past everything and somehow make all of the nightmares go away.

But that was before I heard Peter's remark.

"Isn't this counter top made of pure granite?" his voice bellowed through the room, causing the bickering pair to quiet down for a moment. Their mutters of response were too quiet for me to hear, but it was enough to make my eyes widen in realization. "I believe that those cracked tiles were not caused by the dropping of a pan."

"What makes ya think that, Pete?" Jubilee piped up, making me smile as I began to dash toward the stairs.

Even though I was almost out of earshot, I could hear his reply. It caused a sadistic grin to cross my features as the salty tears brushed over my trembling lips.

"Well, that looks like the outline of two hands to me."

_

* * *

_**A/N: Yes, Jubes and Pete are together in my story. The reasonings as to why WILL be explained. Don't diss it until you've given it a chance. I'm not normally a Kitty/Bobby sort of person, but it's going to fit into this storyline perfectly. And for those of you that were wondering, 'devushka' is sort of a pet name for 'my love, or my precious' in Russian. I'm really busy with the Holidays, but I'm trying to get in as much writing time as possible. It's just sort of flying out of me, ya know? Please, be kind and review!**


	7. Chapter Seven

_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

**_Nothing Else Matters_- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving _was_ her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N:**** This chapter is important as it focuses on Rogue's personality even more than the last few. Pay close attention for a few clues. Chapter Eight is really important, so make sure that you don't miss it. A special thanks to my beta, Stef. She only started editing for me a chapter back, so if there were mistakes it's all on me. She's my best friend and personal editor of all of my stories. I sort of got ahead of her on this one though. Thank you to my reviewers: **_Empress of Dune, PyroWhore, KooriKitsune, nevermindthebuttocks, JC Roberts, _**and **_dulcesweet._

_**

* * *

**_

_**-Nothing Else Matters-**_

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

"Now Ah rememba why Ah hate tha mall," I groaned loudly as I picked up all of my bags and walked into the Institute with a frown on my face. I had the unfortunate luck of spending an entire four hours at a swamped Bayville Mall, replenishing my pitiable wardrobe one pair of jeans at a time. "Ah hope yah know that Storm's gonna kill me fah buyin' all this!" I dropped the eight large shopping bags on the bed in my room unceremoniously as I shook my head slowly. Closing my eyes, I rubbed the bridge of my nose and considered just taking everything back and using the credit card to get a ticket to Mexico. _Ah wonder if they'd even botha comin' after meh?_

"Come on, Rogue, it really wasn't _that_ bad. You make it sound like we just escaped from some sort of war zone," she laughed as she flopped down on the only part of the bed that was actually showing and yawned. "I'd have to say that it was a successful mission, captain. Do you think that Storm'll care that I got me a few things, too?" she grinned wickedly at me as she motioned to the bags that were hers that were sitting in the open doorway. "Well, Miss Munroe, I should say. I still _can't _call her Ororo, ya know?"

I nodded my head slowly as I began to unpack everything that I had purchased throughout the day. The selection was large, varying from the smallest accessories to a new, green winter coat. Part of me had felt bad as cashier after cashier had swiped the platinum card through the machine, but the rest of me had wanted to spend as much as possible just to piss the goddess off. "Ah try, but Ah fail miserably. It's lahk callin' mah momma by her God-given name. She'd tear a switch off dat tree and whip me good," I chuckled as I found myself looking in the mirror that hung on the outside of the closet door. Biting the inside of my lip, I examined my hair slowly. "Yah really think it looks betta now?" considering that Jubes had insisted on me seeing the _'like best guy in town'_, I had spent thirty dollars alone on getting my hair trimmed and pampered.

It still had the jagged appeal and sleek that I had liked about it the night before, but the layering was far better than the style cut by my own hand. "Like, at least it doesn't look like you went and pulled a Britney Spears," she rolled her eyes as she dug through the bag nearest her and threw a pair of panties at my head. "Nice color," she laughed hysterically before I threw them back at her.

At that moment it felt as if I'd never been gone. Despite the fact that the mall had been less than fun, the next hour that we spent putting away all of the purchases was actually fun. The conversation never slowed, the both of us trying to emerge ourselves in a friendship that hadn't seen the light of day in almost a year. I'd been afraid that the time I'd spent away meant that I wouldn't have something as important as our friendship, but I'd been proven wrong.

When we were finally finished, we laid down on the bed sideways, our legs dangling off of the side. We stared up at the ceiling in silence and let our arms just lay there, touching the other's. It was the perfect ending to the semi-perfect outing.

"Rogue, promise me that you won't leave again," her voice was so quiet and child-like that for a moment I thought of her not as a best friend, but as a younger sister. The truth was that I was only older than her by five months.

"Jubes, Ah can't promise that, and yah know it," it pained me to think about leaving, especially when her hand wrapped around mine. Even through the soft satin gloves, I could almost feel the dampness of her skin. Holding hands was almost our way of hugging, because if we didn't hug right she could end up passed out on the floor. Amazing what a brush of cheeks can do to a person.

"Then promise me that if you decide to leave again, that you'll at least say bye first," her voice was sterner this time, demanding an answer that would suit her.

I gripped her hand tightly as I closed my eyes and willed the distraught thoughts to leave me alone. "If Ah leave, Ah'll tell yah bye, Jubes," we laid there like that for a number of long moments before the peace was interrupted.

"Are you two sleeping?" we both lifted our heads slightly and looked toward the door. "Why are there so many empty bags? Hell, even _full _bags?" Bobby gingerly waded through the bags piled in the doorway until he was in the safety of the small room. His left brow was raised dramatically as he crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at us like a concerned parent. "It's the middle of the day and the sun is shining. Up and at 'em."

We groaned as we sat up, releasing each other's hands as he stared at him for a few long moments. "We've been shopping _all_ morning, Bobby. Give us a freaking break," Jubilee rolled her eyes as she glanced at me out of the corner of her eye.

"Rogue, they want to see you downstairs in Xavier's Office," he answered simply, avoiding my gaze altogether. "Jubes, you're scheduled for a Danger Room session with Logan in about," he glanced down at his watch before looking back up at her, "three minutes. You know how much he hates it when you're late."

Jubilee hopped up from the bed and muttered a string of curses under her breath that would make even Logan's eyes widen. "Sorry, chica, but he's right! I've gotta go!" she shouted at me over her shoulder as she scooped up her bags and ran down the hall loudly, her boots making a great deal of noise.

Resigned, I stood up and dusted off the back of my sweats habitually and slowly met Bobby's gaze. "Ah guess Ah should get on down there then," I shuffled forward quickly, only to be stopped when he rested his hand on my arm. I stared down at his hand for a good long moment before I shook it away.

"Rogue, we saw what you did in the kitchen last night. But, I don't get how," he shook his head as he drifted off. "You've been gone for a year, Rogue, a year. And then you come back out of the blue and everything about you has completely changed. Can you really blame us for being so confused and wary?" those cold eyes that I had known for so long did little to comfort me.

"Don't talk tah me about bein' confused, Robert Drake. Yah can take your diplomatic mission and shove it up yah ass for all Ah care," fury bristled inside of me at his pitiful attempt to talk to me about something that he could never understand. "Mah life is none of yah damned business, Bobby. Yah made that decision tha night yah cheated on meh with Kitty!" the old wound was reopened the moment that I brought it up, but it didn't matter. The hurt look in his eyes was enough of a satisfaction for the bruised pride inside of me. "So why don't yah take your little honorable attitude and screw yahself!"

Before I even realized what I was doing, I had gripped him by the collar of his shirt and threw him backward. Midair, his body encased in a protective layer of ice. But, all it did was cause him to fly _through_ the walls instead of _into_ them. I soared forward, my short hair barely moving in the wind that whipped through it. Iceman stumbled to his feet, shaking his head to clear it, before his eyes met mine. A lifetime ago, I had never considered what it would feel like to face the only boy that had ever looked past my deadly skin and looked into my heart. But at that split second that I balled my fists at my sides, I knew that I was capable of seriously hurting him, or even killing him.

"Rogue!" my rage was short-lived as I felt the air around my face shift suddenly. A glowing purple sword of some sort swung past my face in a menacing motion, causing me to take a hesitant step back. The woman with long violet hair that I'd met the day before was crouched in front of me, the sword poised in her hands as though it truly belonged there. Storm made a beeline for me, her eyes completely fogged over in anger. "My word, child! What has gotten into you?" she watched as Bobby returned to his fleshy form and stumbled forward, climbing through the large crater in the wall to stand just beside the woman crouched on the floor beside me.

"It was just a misunderstanding, Miss Munroe. Please, it was my fault. I provoked her," his eyes trailed over to mine for a moment, causing my clenched fists to relax. _Always tha martyr._ "It was just a misunderstanding, it's no big deal," he plastered a fake smile to his face as he lifted his shoulders as if to say '_what can you do?_'.

The woman in front of me refused to move from her position until Miss Munroe nodded her head serenely. "I believe that this makes our discussion just that much more important," she crossed her arms over her chest slowly. "Betsy, would you please walk Bobby down to the Med Lab. Just to be safe," the glimmering sword seemed to disappear into thin air as she grabbed Bobby by the arm and led him out of our sight. We stood there in silence for a few minutes, shame filling every pore of my being as I studied the large hole that had been left behind in Bobby's wake. "If he hadn't managed to do what he did..." she trailed off as she shook her head in disappointment.

"Ah know, Ah know," emotion prickled at my throat as I took a deep breath and rubbed my fingers over my face. "Ah really am sorry, Miss Munroe. Ah don't know what came over meh."

She studied me for a moment before placing her hand gently on my upper arm and leading me down the hall. "This is exactly the reason why I wanted to have a short meeting with you, my child. I'd like to ask you a few questions about what has happened since you left the Institute. To be honest with you, I'm not sure if you should be staying here," my feet seemed to drag behind me as she led me into the Professor's old office. _Here it goes. Ah'm gonna get kicked out_, I couldn't help but think the single dreaded thought. "But, after a vote it was decided that you could stay here unconditionally," the statement was said without any ounce of emotion.

I didn't know what to say when I sat down in one of the straight-backed chairs and crossed my legs. She wasted no time in sitting behind the large desk and resting her hands on the expansive desk airily. "Ah don't know what tah say," I swallowed the lump in my throat as the door opened. I turned slightly in my chair to watch as Dr. McCoy, Logan, and Betsy walked in. None of them met my eyes as they scattered across the room. The Ambassador chose a sit close to the large desk, while Betsy sat on the large leather couch, leaving Logan to stand directly behind me, leaning against the wall and rolling a cigar around in his mouth. "Ah didn't know Ah warranted an audience," I stared down at the floor and twiddled my glove-clad thumbs.

"On the contrary," Hank's voice rumbled through the room, "I think that this little meeting is in order. Especially since I just finished doing a quick check up on one Robert Drake. Would you care to explain to me how he sustained minor injuries, mainly a number of splinters?"his voice was kind and calm, but I knew that his serene exterior hid a very dangerous interior.

"There was a misunderstandin'," I borrowed Bobby's term as I brushed back my hair. "Ah don't know what came over meh and Ah'm sorry. If there was some way that Ah could take it back, Ah would," I wasn't sure if I meant it or not until the words left my lips. I was relieved to realize that I did mean them.

"Kid, you don't do somethin' like knockin' a man through the damned wall when there's a misunderstanding," Logan quipped, his snort resonating through the room. "I think it's about damned time that ya tell us exactly how in th' hell you were able to throw me through the air like I was some damned paper airplane. Let alone the fact that ya aren't exactly the lightweight that ya used to be."

I wanted to turn around and face him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. The anger that coursed through me hadn't quite dissipated and I feared that I would slam his head through the antique bookcases that he was leaning up against. "Ah ain't answerin' tah yah, Logan. For all Ah care yah can kiss mah cheery little behind!" I shouted, gripping the arms of the chair so tightly that the wood splintered in my hand. Shock flooded through me as my cheeks heated in embarrassment. I lifted my hands toward my face slowly, opening them and watching as the large splinters of wood tumbled into my lap. "Damn."

"Logan, if I recall correctly you requested that you be exempt from this meeting to begin with," Ororo barked, her voice taking on a hint of heat as she watched me get up and dump the pieces of wood into the wastebasket. I dusted off my gloves as I stood next to her desk, folding my hands in front of me and trying to look as innocent as possible under the circumstances. "While I agree that we deserve an explanation from Rogue, I will not force the issue. In case you've forgotten, she's an _adult_."

My emerald eyes rose in time to watch the color drain from Logan's face. His cigar hung comically out of his mouth as his jaw dropped slightly. But, the moment that his eyes met mine, color flooded back into his cheeks and he snarled angrily. "She's the one that left, 'Ro. No one told her to!" The words came as no surprise, but I found myself unable to respond.

"But yah didn't do shit to stop meh!" my lips trembled as I struggled to remain upright as my head began to pound viciously. All I wanted at that exact moment was a bottle of Beam and enough sleeping pills to knock me out for a few days straight. I couldn't decide which was worse: the headache or the heartache.

"Enough, both of you!" Betsy interrupted, her hair flying back as she jumped to her feet lithely. She looked between the two of us for a few moments before she shook her head. "Rogue, the main reason that we requested this meeting is because we need your help."

Silence fell over the room as I turned to see Ororo Munroe nodding her head in agreement. _Just means tha questions are fah another time_, I sighed mentally as I lifted one shoulder in a noncommittal shrug. "Ah'm all ears."

Betsy stepped forward and crossed her arms over her chest. I couldn't help but feel that she looked down her nose at me as she launched into a short speech. "Using Cerebro, I have located a mutant that goes by the name of Gambit. All we know as of right now is that he has more than one mutation. We believe that they are all psionic, but we cannot be sure. He's got a number of people after him, including the recently publicized group known as the Friends Of Humanity."

Digesting the information slowly, I nodded my head. "Where do Ah come in?"

"Judging from what I have seen and been told, I am judging you to be our heaviest hitter at the moment," Storm spoke up, her voice icy with control. "We haven't the time to test your abilities, so I'm wary of my own decision."

"Rogue, what are your limits?" Dr. McCoy spoke up, his expression one of intrigue and understanding.

"Ah- Ah," I swallowed the lump in my throat before taking a deep breath, "All Ah know is that Ah'm pretty much invulnerable. Yah can't hurt meh and Ah just keep gettin' right back up. Ah can fly, but it's new tah me. So Ah'm shaky sometimes," I wasn't about to admit how much practice I'd put into my new skills when I'd first acquired them. It wasn't anyone's business but mine.

Logan snorted from across the room as he pulled a lighter out of his pocket and lit the cigar, taking a long drag and blowing the smoke into the air. "What about the fact that ya literally chucked me over the fence, kid?"

A smirk crossed my features as I lifted my brows in his direction. "Lets just say that Ah'm not a _lightweight_ anymore."

"Then you would have no qualms with assisting a small group going to New Orleans, Rogue?" Ororo questioned softly, giving me an easy out if I so chose. "Perhaps after you've returned, you could train fully and choose to stay here permanently. At least, I hope that you'll feel comfortable enough around us to share the truth with us."

_What choice do Ah have? _

* * *

**A/N: The only reason that Storm and Beast aren't pressuring Rogue further is because they've realized that she's not herself. They're trying to regain her trust before taking that next step. They're not ignoring it, so please don't think that. Why are they going to New Orleans? You figure it out. Please, remember that this is a ROGAN story, not a ROMY. **


	8. Chapter Eight

_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

**_Nothing Else Matters_- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving _was_ her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N:**** First of all, let me apologize for taking so danged long to update. I've been horribly busy, and this chapter's been ready to go since I posted the last one. I'm going to play the lazy card on this one and beg forgiveness. Things really start to pick up, and you're all in for a ride on this one. A special thanks to my beta, Stef. I beta myself, but she gets these back to me not even an hour after I send them to her. Gah, I'm jealous. Thank you to my reviewers: **_Empress of Dune, PyroWhore, cindy, nevermindthebuttocks, JC Roberts,__dulcesweet, Nicki-hunny, _**and** _Author376._

_**

* * *

**_

_**-Nothing Else Matters-**_

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

"If you aren't going to follow my command, you might as well march your ass right back off of this jet right now," Iceman stood at the base of the launch ramp with his arms crossed over his chest. Already donned in his X-Men uniform, he made an imposing figure. The others: Colossus, Jubilee, and Shadowcat, were already on board and waiting. I'd been surprised to learn that the four were allowed to go on missions themselves, but that was before I'd learned that this was by far _not _the first time that it had happened. "I know that we've had some rough patches, but I'm the field leader on this, Rogue."

Marching right up to him, I placed my hands on my hips and simply stared up into his eyes blankly. "Ah had to squeeze mah ass into this suit, Iceman," I snarled with the last word as I shook my head. "Do yah have any idea how much Ah've filled out despite tha fact that I rarely had anythin' to eat?" his lips thinned as he looked at the door of the hangar before shaking his head. "Listen, if Ah didn't wanna be here Ah'd of left. Ah'm here tah help. Don't get in my way," I swept past him in a fashion that would have made Wolverine proud.

If he didn't hate me, that is.

The jet grew completely quiet as Iceman boarded directly behind me, the ramp raising as he boarded. He took his seat in the front, strapping himself into the pilot's seat while glancing over at his co-pilot Jubilee. Colossus and Shadowcat, having looked up the moment that I'd boarded, stared at me in silence as I took my seat. They were sitting directly behind their significant others, while I chose to sit a bit further back so that I was more on my own. I strapped into the chair and stared blankly at the floor through the entire flight, ignoring everyone and everything around me.

I was too busy mulling over the things that had happened the day before. The four people that had called me into Xavier's Office had interrogated me, but it hadn't gone well. When I'd repeatedly told them that it was all just an aftereffect, a debate broke out in the room. Much to my surprise, Logan and Hank had been the ones on my side while Betsy and Ororo had insisted that I was hiding something from them. The meeting had ended with threats on both sides. I'd been told that if I was lying, I wouldn't be welcome at the Institute.

It was then that I realized, my time away from the School had to be pushed as far out of my mind as physically possible. But, I found it hard to forget the things that made me who I was inside.

"Rogue, are you going to just sit there drooling or are you going with us?" I jerked my head quickly as I stumbled to my feet. The other four stared at me with looks ranging from disinterest to mild disapproval. Iceman shook his head slowly as he handed me a small device that was only vaguely familiar. "It's a com-link, Rogue. We have to remain in contact at all times," he pressed the button that lowered the ramp.

"When did ya'll change?" my brows creased in confusion as I realized that they were no longer garbed in their X-Men uniforms, and were instead wearing what appeared to be street clothes. "Ah wasn't sleepin'!"

Jubilee's eyes met mine as she popped her wad of gum loudly. "Like, we're in New Orleans, Rogue. It's not quite Mardis Gras, but there's a party every night!"

"What Jubilee is trying to say is that while the four of us our searching on foot for any sort of sign of this Gambit fellow, you are going to be in the air. It's a cloudy night, so you should be out of sight," Shadowcat fixed the smaller earpiece that was identical to the one that the other three wore. Unlike mine, theirs' resembled a hearing aide of sorts. It was invisible to the eye unless you were _actually _looking for it. "We weren't sure what to expect before we landed a few minutes ago. This was the best option that the others suggested," she crossed her arms over her chest, daring me to refute.

I shrugged my shoulders as I looked down at my green leather gloves. "Fine. Ya'll go have fun pretendin' you're on a mission and Ah'll find this stupid bastard and haul 'im back," without another word, I turned on my heel and flew out of the jet.

Grinning as I completed a full barrel roll, I flew up past the treetops that carefully hid the large jet from sight and felt myself gliding through the cloudy night. I couldn't help but remember a time during a Danger Room session when I had asked Storm what it was like to be able to fly.

_**"Flying is the most exhilarating experience in the world to me," she had smiled at me as she flew across the room to demonstrate. I couldn't help but smile at the way her eyes lit up as the wind blew through her hair. When she landed I found myself frowning, and she caught on immediately. "You see, Rogue, in my case it takes a very direct approach on my mutation. I have to call up the winds underneath me in order to rise and glide into the air."**_

_**"What would yah do if yah could fly without tha struggle?" I laced my hands together as I followed her out of the room.**_

_**The others had already left by then and it was just the two of us. She seemed to think about the question for a few long moments before answering. "I'd never come down."**_

Before I'd been able to fly, I had no idea how much I was actually missing. The feeling of the air sliding across my body was the most sensual thing that I had experienced. _What do yah expect when yah can't touch anyone_? I asked myself with a frown. Before I'd cut off my long locks, I'd love the feeling of my hair whipping around my face and trailing down my back. It reminded me of those old movies where the gorgeous ladies would be picked up by some handsome fellow driving a '55 Chevrolet convertible.

It was my heaven.

"Rogue, come in," a voice crackled over the com-link, pulling me out of my shallow thoughts.

I pressed down on the device and sighed. "This is Rogue," I muttered, forcing my attention to the ground below.

"Seen anything worthwhile yet?" Shadowcat's voice bellowed, her voice soft across the static.

Narrowing my eyes at the crowded streets below me, I struggled to see the point in me flying overhead when we had no idea what we were looking for. "Nope, Ah ain't seen nothin'."

"Psylocke insists that whatever sort of business this Gambit man is in is not good," Colossus informed me, his accent making me think of myself as some sort of spy with him whispering secrets in my ear. "His dealings are less than obvious, so perhaps we should look in the less obvious of places?"

The others agreed as I lowered myself slightly, still hiding in the clouds as I headed toward the seedier side of town. As a Mississippi girl myself, I'd been to New Orleans a number of times throughout my childhood. In fact, my Momma's sister lived in the French Quarter until she died. The fact that my father wasn't exactly the cleanest character gave me the best idea of where to look for this so-called Gambit. I just headed for the worst bar that my Momma'd ever dragged my Daddy out of.

My eyes scouted the ground as I skimmed through the clouds easily, descending slowly so that I could make sure that the coast was clear. I landed in the small area quietly, my eyes scoping the area as I walked down the lane that was obviously on the wrong side of the tracks. Containing a fit of giggles, I managed to get to a larger area where only the darker side of the city lived. "And Ah was only propositioned twice," I shook my head as I thought about the ladies of the night that had trailed their hands over my arms when I'd passed them in the narrow lane.

Skirting across the ground calmly, I took a full inventory of my surroundings. There were men grouped together, talking in hushed tones. I had no doubt that there was a great deal of gambling going on, and something in the back of my mind insisted that there were a number of deadly assassins lurking in the shadows, waiting for their next contract. The espionage training wasn't exactly my own, but I felt prepared when I walked up to a man leaning against the side of a building and asked if he wanted to make a quick fifty.

His eyes opened slowly and he glanced over me with the lazy examination that only a man with nothing to lose could afford. "What ya needin', lady?"

"Ah need information on someone named Gambit," I fisted my hand as if the money was there, just waiting for him to spill his guts.

Instead, he turned on his heel and ran away, screaming as if he'd just seen a ghost. Or his mom naked.

"Someone say Gambit, mon chere?" my body tensed as a voice drifted through the suddenly silent area. I turned on my heel quickly, my eyes scanning the area but finding nothing out of place. "Why you look fo' de Gambit, eh?"

My eyes continued to scan the area as I balled up my left fist and prepared myself for the inevitable. _Ah think Ah've found something_, I thought to myself as I pressed the _X_ on my sleeve slowly, hoping that whomever it was that was playing with me wouldn't notice. There was a tracking device built into every uniform, so I could only hope that the others would be able to trace it. I didn't want to make any sudden movements as to draw attention to myself. "Show yahself!" I shouted, taking notice of the way that a few people were running away from the scene. It was as if I were watching some sort of horrible '20's mobster movie. I was expecting Al Kapone to suddenly pop up and declare that he'd taken over the Cajun town and made it his own. "Ah said show yahself!" I shouted again, my eyes widening in surprise as a figure leapt down from the nearest building.

Red on black eyes pierced through the darkness as the figure in front of me walked forward, calmly and slowly. "De Gambit, non? Well, ya found him, mon chere," a roguish grin spread across the man's features as he slipped his hand inside of his trench coat and pulled out a small stick of some sort. He wore large silver boots and armor, so only part of his pants were visible. His chest, however, appeared to be covered by the armor as well. He looked like some sort of tramp, and the billowing trench coat only added to the imagery.

"Then Ah'm sure ya'll be glad tah hear that Ah'm here as a friend," I kept my eyes on him as he continued to move toward me slowly. "So you're tha infamous Gambit, eh?" the small stick suddenly lengthened and I realized that it was a staff, a bo staff. _Ah know that staff_, I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts as my hands began to shake at my sides.

"De belle femme does not look up to de fight, non?" the man before me chuckled loudly before he leapt through the air suddenly, his right foot arched out in front of him with the staff at his side. Standing my ground, I made the decision to take the hit. His foot struck my chest with the force of a train, but I didn't flinch. Even in the darkness I could see his eyes widen in surprise as he used the momentum to flip backwards and land lightly on his feet. "Mon dieu! De femme is somethin' special, eh?"

I wasted no time in charging forward, my body gliding over the ground, and plowing my fists into his chest. Not expecting the move, he took the full brunt of the punch and sailed backward, skidding across the graveled lot painfully. He rolled over onto his side and looked up at me for a moment before staggering to his feet. He put the staff away and pulled out what appeared to be a single playing card. "Listen, sugah, Ah ain't here tah hurt yah!" I shouted even as his somewhat gloved hand began to glow an eerie pinkish color. Horror flooded through me as memories began to seep into my mind, memories that I couldn't quite place.

As he drew back his arm to throw the card at me, I sailed forward again, knocking him onto his back. He shoved the card into my hand it exploded, causing me to fall backwards in shock and hold my hand against my chest. There was no sign of blood, but my glove had been blown to shreds. "Well, ya tough, Gambit give ya that, chere," the man knelt down next to me. "Ya tryin' t' tell Gambit dat you be wif de X-Men, eh?" his eyes roamed over my uniform, resting on the _X _on my arm.

"Somethin' lahk that," I muttered as I continued to stare down at my hand. Something told me that if I wasn't invulnerable that I would have lost my entire hand, if not my life. "Mah friends are on their way," I tried to stand up, but found that my knees were wobbling too much for me to even move.

"Allow Gambit. Such a belle femme like you, mon amour, should not be in dis part of de town alone at night," before I could react, he had grabbed my naked hand and pulled me to my feet.

We stood there frozen for a few seconds, our eyes linking us just as much as our hands.

"Rogue! Are you okay?" shouts and confusion bled into the situation as the man in front of me fell to his knees, sweat beading down his face as he jerked his hand out of mine. "Rogue, what is going on?" I felt my body shaking as someone grabbed me by the arms and shook me forcefully. I stared up at them for a few long moments before I shook away the cobwebs in my mind. "Rogue?"

"Hardly," I sneered as I grabbed the boy in front of me by his arm and threw him over my shoulder like some pest. "Remy, love, how are you?" I picked him up by the collar of his trench coat and held him up in front of me. "It's been a long time," I purred as his eyes flickered open and widened in disbelief.

"Mon dieu!" he shouted as he pulled out a handful of his trademark cards and began to charge them. "Carol?"

* * *

**A/N: **I've _never_ been to New Orleans, before or after Katrina. So, my familiarity with the area is nil, and I thought it would be interesting to throw in a bit of Rogue's 'past'. Seems sudden, right? Well, it's supposed to. Reasons behind this fashion of introducing Carol Danvers will be explained shortly. I promise! Please, be kind and give me a review and let me know what you think thus far! 


	9. Chapter Nine

_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

**_Nothing Else Matters_- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving _was_ her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N: Okay everyone, here's the next chapter for all of you that have been kind enough to leave me a review. This chapter's been thrown into fast forward because it's where the story really starts to pick up. I've tried to make it as clear as possible, but if there are things that I'm not clear enough on, please let me know! Thank my beta for kicking some major ass and getting this back to me in like ten minutes. Otherwise, you guys would be waiting a bit longer because I'm lazy like that. Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Thank you to my reviewers: **_JC Roberts_, _Niki-hunny_, _PyroWhore_, _nevermindthebuttocks_, _dulcesweet_, _CaptMacKenzie_, _LadyNatahlie_, **and**_ cindy_.

_**

* * *

**_

_**-Nothing Else Matters-**_

**CHAPTER NINE**

I cackled as I threw thrust my fist into Remy's solar plexus and sent him flying backwards, skidding along the ground on his behind before slamming his back into a building. He attempted to stand up, but found that he was too weak to do so. I shook my head as I lifted my hand to run it through my hair.

My eyes widened in horror as my hand swept through the air, never brushing against my long blond locks. "My hair!" I shouted as I flew through the air to the building where Remy was recuperating and stared at my reflection in the cracked window. The face that looked back at me was so familiar, but I couldn't place it. "What's happened to me?" I brushed my hand along the glass and struggled to remember what had happened to me.

"Rogue, what is going on with you?" I turned to find myself staring at a small Asian girl wearing sunglasses. She walked toward me slowly, her hands raised in a defensive manner. I raised one brow in her direction as she stared at me with a look of confusion. "Rogue?" fear actually filled her voice as I grabbed her by the tail of her brown jacket and threw her at a large man standing just behind her. The pair cried out as he caught her, but he still staggered backwards.

**Carol, what are yah doing? **a strange voice echoed inside of my head, causing my eyes to fill with fear.

"Get out of my head!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I pushed up off of the ground with such a great force that the concrete shattered underneath me. The wind rushed along my body at a high speed as I swept up through the clouds, stopping only when I could no longer see those below me. I just stayed there, looking all around me as I struggled to remember. "It's you, isn't it?" my hands fell to my sides as I remembered the girl's voice. It was _her_, the one.

Grief and nausea like I'd never known flushed through my shocked system as I wrapped my arms around myself tightly. I blinked back tears of anguish as I began a painful nosedive toward the ground below, whizzing through the air at such a high speed that my ears popped. I could see the ground approaching, but it seemed to shake as I blinked repeatedly, trying to figure out what was going on. I closed my eyes instinctively as I slammed into the gravel, the seismic boom echoing in my ears as the ground around me crumbled beneath my massive force.

In shock, I laid there curled up in a ball and waited for the earth to stop shaking before I would even dare to look around. When I did, the sight I beheld clearly shocked me.

"Colossus, get her out of there!" my ears continued to ring as a metallic-looking man stomped toward me. He grabbed me by the arm and I allowed him to drag me out of the crater and toward a small group of three people. My eyes immediately scanned the area for Remy, realizing that he was still sitting with his back against the side of the same building. "Rogue, what is wrong with you?" another man's voice greeted my ears as I turned to meet his icy gaze. A deeply rooted desire to simply punch him into the next county gripped me as I struggled to keep my hands at my sides.

The other three watched me like hawks as I stared at them, animosity bubbling in my veins. And then, all at once, I remembered.

A sinister smile crept over my features as I cracked my knuckles and picked him up by the collar of his shirt yet again. In response, his entire body iced over and he grabbed me by the wrists with his icy hands. "The name's Carol," I drew back my fist and punched him square in the jaw, smiling at the sound of the thick encasing of ice literally cracking. Dropping him to his feet, I watched him swagger before a small brunette rushed forward, literally going through me. "What the hell?" I shouted as I found myself being pulled through the ground. The next thing I knew only my head was peeking out of the concrete.

The brunette reappeared, flying up out of the concrete like some sort of ghost. A thin Asian woman stepped forward, her glasses hiding her eyes from my view. "Rogue, I'm like so sorry for this," I didn't close my eyes in time to avoid the bright flashes of light. Fireworks seemed to erupt from the girl's hands, causing me to howl in pain as my eyesight faltered.

"That ain't gonna keep de fille down fo long, mon ami," the familiar Cajun voice met my ears as I blinked my eyes rapidly, trying to see through the dancing spots. "She ain't gonna be happy when she get out of dat hole, monsieur."

"Storm said to bring her back to the Institute and we'll figure something out," the icy man's voice met my ears as I struggled in the ground, trying to move my arms just enough to break through the earth's covering. "We've got to get her on the jet somehow."

"When I get out of here, I'm going to rip your limbs off slowly!" anger bubbled through me as I tried to fight my way out of the ground. It wasn't as if I had been pounded into the ground, however, so there was no looseness to the asphalt and concrete. "I'll take your own foot and shove it so far up your ass that you'll be able to pick your nose with your big toe!" As I pictured the anatomically impossible situation in my mind, I found myself chuckling like a madwoman.

"You guys, what's wrong with Rogue?" I looked up and stared at the Asian woman as she paced around me like a caged animal. She was biting down on her lower lip and she looked confused, worried. Some part of my mind recognized her. **Jubes, yah gotta help meh**"Rogue, I know that you're in there somewhere," she crouched down in front of me. I attempted to headbutt her in the face, but she was just far enough out of my reach so that I only whisked my head through the air. Her bright blue eyes narrowed in my direction as she stood back up and dusted off the knees of her jeans. "Remember that time that she absorbed Logan? Anybody else seeing any similarities?"

"I think that's Rogue's problem right now," the one that had dared to force me into the ground stared down at me with calculating eyes. "How are we going to get her back on the jet? It's at least a two-hour trip since we're not able to take it at mach speed. Storm would kill us."

It was silent for a moment as I continued to try to squirm around, knowing that if I could get a bit more movement that I could break out of my so-called prison. With my strength, it would only take a bit of leeway of movement in my arms, legs, or even my torso to rip the concrete away from me. "Look, you pitiful excuse for children, get me out of here before I really get angry!" I shouted, watching as spit flew from my mouth and splattered on the ground in front of me. Shaking with anger, I looked up at the five of them and snarled. "Rogue's checked out of here for good, so it's time that you all get used to my vivacious presence."

The metallic looking man with rippling muscles stared down at me with shiny eyes. "I am sorry, comrade," his chest heaved with a sigh as he picked up a huge boulder that had apparently been created during my scuffle with Remy.

"Allow Gambit, mon ami," Remy stepped forward and pressed a glowing hand to the large boulder. "Suggest dat you all stand back, eh?" he let out a throaty laugh as he watched the metallic man position the boulder over my head.

The others all stood back as he lowered the boulder slowly, evidently ensuring that everything went as planned. "Oh holy hell!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I used every bit of strength I had in me to free myself. Things seemed to move as though time had slowed as the concrete and asphalt around me finally started breaking up. Freeing my arms, I lifted them over my head and prepared to lift into the air in a mad push for the skyline.

I didn't make it.

Instead I was greeted with the sight of the glowing boulder crashing into me with the force of a wrecking ball. I never would have suspected, despite obvious indicators, that he was capable of such force until I was skidding across the ground. Slowly digging into a trench along my course, I could feel the clothing that I wore tearing away with every inch. It's a misconception to say that because I'm invulnerable that I do not feel pain. Although my pain receptors are dimmed considerably, I can still feel bouts of great pain.

Despite that, however, I found myself surprised to be howling in pain as I skidded to a stop along the road. "You're going to have to do better than that!" I tried to lift myself up slowly, using my knees and elbows. My body shook before I collapsed, a mouthful of dust causing me to cough viciously. My eyes began to water as I managed to roll over onto my back with a great deal of concentration, only to find myself staring up at the icy man.

"I'm sorry, Rogue," he murmured sadly as he pointed his fingertips at me. "Get ready Shadowcat, Colossus."

A scowl caused my lips to thin as I glared up at him. Before I could do anything more than howl, a thick casing of ice began to surround my body. Shocked, I could only lay there as my body was encompassed with a thick casing of clear ice. Only my nose remained uncovered, and I was left filling like some freak from a horror movie. I'd closed my eyes on instinct and found that I could not open them again. Everything was muffled around me as my senses were completely shut off. Despite the oxygen that was flowing through my nose and into my lungs, I found myself barely able to breathe.

**Yah shoulda just went with 'em, Carol**, the annoying twit's voice echoed inside of my mind as I blacked out.

The only reason I knew I blacked out is because the next time I opened my eyes, I was no longer stuck in ice. I was lying on a cold metallic floor in a small room. I sat up slowly, my body still shivering, as I glanced around at my new location. There was a small cot in the farthest corner of the room, as well as a small sink and toilet. There seemed to be no door to the room, but there was a large window. Smiling, I stood up and glanced down at myself. The leather that I'd worn in the alley was gone, replaced with cotton sweats and a tank top. My feet were bare, and I felt extremely vulnerable.

"You'll find that the glass is completely indestructible, even for your obscene strength," my pupils dilated as a voice echoed through the room. Hesitating for a moment before walking toward the glass, I looked for the sign of the voice. A roomful of people met my gaze evenly as I stared through the thick glass. A number of them seemed familiar, but the four that had been with Gambit in the alley were the farthest away from me. "We've got a few questions for you, and I suggest that you answer them," my eyes scanned the scene until I found a dark-skinned woman holding up what appeared to be some sort of communication microphone. It reminded me of something that I would see at the base.

"Do you really think that _glass_ can contain _me_?" I shook my head in disbelief as I drew back my right fist. The sound of my fist connecting with the glass resonated through my small room, causing my ears to ring as I took a surprised step back. Staring at the glass in horror, I lifted my throbbing fist to find that two of my fingers had been horribly dislocated. "This cannot be possible," I hissed as I used my left hand to pop my fingers back into place, barely making a face at the rush of pain that tingled up my arm.

"Who are you and what have you done with Rogue?" I glanced up as a different voice drifted into the room, a voice tinged with the hint of a British accent. A woman with slightly Asian features and startling violet hair had the communication device in her hand and stared at me with a fierce look of determination. "Until we get some answers, you're not going anywhere."

The others in the room simply stared at me as I clenched my fists at my sides. Somehow they had managed to trap me in a room that apparently had no weaknesses. If they had went to so much trouble to ensure that the glass was completely shatterproof, I had no doubt that the rest of the room would prove to be as impenetrable. "You already know who I am, or at least what I'm capable of," I turned away from the glass and walked toward the cot. It reminded me of the long years that I'd spent in training and on missions in my younger days. I wasn't surprised to realize that the small quarters brought only bad memories to the forefront of my mind.

"Rogue?" I looked toward the window as I sat down on the hard cot. My eyes narrowed in concentration as his moved over my form. Despite the distance, I could see him clearly. "Ya in there?" his voice was gruff, but I could somehow hear him through the glass. _Maybe I'm just imagining it_, I told myself mentally as I laid down on the cot and stared blandly at the metallic ceiling.

**Logan.**

* * *

**A/N: **I really hope that I'm not confusing you guys with this story. This whole chapter is in Carol's POV. Please note that at this time, Carol has taken possession of Rogue's body. The **bold thoughts**, for those of you that couldn't catch on, are Rogue's thoughts. The _italicized _thoughts, on the other hand, are Carol's thoughts. Right now, Carol is being held in one of the Mansion's holding cells in the lower levels. They're indestructible, or they're supposed to be. Sometimes they shove Wolverine in there when he's bad and pisses on the rugs. The next chapter jumps, so be ready for a ride! Please, review. 


	10. Chapter Ten

_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

**_Nothing Else Matters_- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving _was_ her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N: Everyone has been wondering what happened to Rogue after she left the Mansion, right? Well, this chapter jumps into that, so pay close attention. There are a number of hints in this chapter alone, so I'd like to see you all pick them up. Thanks to my wonderful beta, Stef! She got this back to me quickly considering that I kidnapped her yesterday and she had to do in between classes today. And a huge thanks my reviewers:** _ChiBi BluEStaR_, _PyroWhore, dulcesweet, Nicki-hunny, CaptMacKenzie, cindy, piratearrow, noro, nevermindthebuttocks, _**and**_ La Mariposa3795_**I'm simply amazed by the positive feedback that I continue to get for this story!**

**Super special thanks to _JC Roberts_ for her input on the way this story will unfold! If you haven't checked out her stories yet, you should! She's mah literary hero!**

_**

* * *

**__**-Nothing Else Matters-**_

**CHAPTER TEN**

Leaving the Mansion during the beginning of a snowstorm, turned out to be the only bit of luck that I had over the next few days. The trucker that I'd managed to flag down took me as far as the city before kindly kicking me out into the frigid air. Of course I had seen New York City a number of times since joining the Institute, but I must admit that it loses a lot of its grandeur when you're walking through a back alley on the lower east side. My savings didn't amount to much, and I knew that I'd have to find someway to find gainful employment.

My first night away from the only home I'd ever really known was spent huddled on a bench near a small, rundown park. I woke up to the prod of an aggravated police officer.

"You do realize that you're sleeping outside and it's not even ten degrees out, right, girly?" slightly portly, the cop reminded me of an old friend of my Daddy's back in Mississippi. "You should be getting on home before your folks get worried. Hear?"

Barely managing a nod, I hugged the duffel close to my chest and stood on shaky legs. "Sorry," I mumbled as I walked away, my head hung low as I stared pointedly at the snow-covered ground. I shuffled along, thankful that I'd thought to wear my favorite brown boots. I didn't look up again until the draw of something delicious made me sniff the air curiously. Glancing around, I found that I was standing in the middle of a slow intersection, facing what appeared to be a diner. "_Willie's_, eh?" my stomach began to rumble as I picked up the pace and walked toward the slightly rundown building.

A bell jingled overhead as I pushed the door opened and stepped into the comfortably warm interior of the diner. I felt more at ease as a few heads turned to look at me and I received only smiles. It seemed that the place was a warm and welcome one. I eased my cold body into a booth farthest away from the door and sat the bag next to me. I rubbed my gloved fingers together anxiously, trying to get warm as I took in the sights.

"Can I get ya something, honey?" I jerked slightly as I looked up into the smiling face of a tired looking woman. Her dark crimson uniform looked too large for her frame, but was too short for a woman of her age. "You look like ya momma aint' fed ya in weeks," she smiled as she pulled a pen and a pad out of the apron around her hips.

"Ah don't know actually," I glanced over the scarred tabletop and fingered the glossy menu slowly. Opening it, I found myself wanting everything that it boasted. It all sounded so good for some reason, and I couldn't help but wonder if I could sample everything without having to be rolled out of the place. "Everything sounds good," I looked up at her name tag and smiled, "Anna."

Her bright pink lips parted in a smile as she leaned forward and pointed at the breakfast display. "As a professional in this sort've thing, I'm going to insist that you have the Waffles Blast," she nodded her head decisively as she wrote the order down on her pad. The meal, it seemed, came with a side of 'your choice' of meat, home fries, toast, coffee, and juice. "You'll be wantin' the bacon, no doubt," she muttered to herself as she continued. "But hold the onions and gravy on the home fries. No coffee, but maybe some cocoa afterwards. Orange juice, it is," she placed the pen in her apron before glancing back down at me. "Now you make yourself comfortable, honey. I'll go put this in and see if Ol' Willie'll push it through, hear?" she winked at me over her shoulder as she walked toward the counter. She went to the small serving window and placed the order on the the rack and spun it around. Her hair, obviously a dyed blonde, was short and piled up on top of her head like Dolly Parton's. For some reason, I found her warm and inviting.

I entertained myself by glancing around at the other diners and workers, receiving nothing but smiles in return. There were at least two other waitresses working the tables, a busboy, and an older man standing behind the counter just serving coffee and talking to everyone and anyone. Unlike all of the other places in New York, I was surprised to see smoke swirling through the air. I wasn't quite sure about the law, but I was almost certain that you had to obtain a special ordinance waiver to have smoking in your facility. The smell of cigars only added to the atmosphere.

_Logan'd like it here_, I smiled to myself as Anna suddenly whisked back over to me and placed a large platter in front of me. My eyes went wide at the huge servings as she sat down my glass and handed me a roll of silverware. "Honey, trust me, yer eyes and stomach are gonna agree on this one," she chuckled aloud at her own little joke before slipping away, leaving me to my breakfast.

I giggled quietly to myself as I glanced over the delicious spread. Fresh strawberries were spread atop the three homemade waffles and a small bottle of strawberry syrup sat in front of me. _How'd she know that it's mah favorite?_ I pulled the dark gloves off and sat them on the booth next to me. I couldn't help but grin as I took that first delectable bite. Before I knew it, I had completely cleaned my plate and downed the large glass of orange juice. "Ah can't believe Ah ate all that," my eyes went wide as I pushed the platter away and shook my head.

"Didn't I tell you that you'd be able to finish it all?" I smiled as Anna slid into the booth, placing herself just across from me. She pulled an ashtray toward here with a quirk of her brow, as if she were asking if she could light up. When I said nothing, she pulled a wrinkled pack of Marlboros out of her apron and lit up one. She took a few drags before smiling at me again. "The old man doesn't mind if I take my break in here, and I figured y' could use someone to talk to," she took another drag from her cigarette. Her nails were long and painted a bubble gum pink. It was far too young of a color for her, but it made her look festive instead of old and outdated.

"It was great, thanks," I looked down and felt jolted to realize that I wasn't wearing any gloves. _Of course yah ain't_, I berated myself for being so stupid. I tapped my fingers on the scarred tabletop before meeting her deep brown eyes. "It was really good and I'm really glad Ah trusted yah judgment." We were quiet for a few moments as she continued to smoke her cigarette and I continued to watch her. I still hadn't gotten used to the fact that I didn't have to be so cold and distant, as touch was not a problem anymore. But somewhere along the line, I think I lost my people skills. "Do yah know any cheap places round here fah uh girl, Anna?"

The question was sudden and unexpected enough to cause her brows to dip in thought. She crushed out her cigarette in the glass ashtray. "I reckon I know of a few places 'round here that could help a girl like you out. But there ain't too many of 'em, ya know. Seems like there's always some poor soul lost in this city and lookin' for a place to just slip into the cracks for a bit. That what you tryin' to do?" she eyed me silently for a moment as I met her gaze evenly. When I said nothing, she only nodded her head. "Just so happens the old man has a few rooms 'cross the alley, sugar."

My chest swelled up as I sucked in a deep breath and stared at her in awe. "Really? Ah mean, that would be a Godsend, Anna. It don't even have tah be fah a long time. Just till Ah get back on mah feet," I had to fight the urge to keep my hands still, or else I knew I would be clenching them together in a worried fashion. It took a few moments before a genuine smile crossed her features, letting me know that the place was mine. "Ah can't thank yah a'nough, Anna!" I gushed as true relief flooded through me. I'd never considered what I would actually _do_ once I left the Mansion, so it was good to know that there were at least a few options out there for me.

"No problem, sweets," she smiled broadly, her slightly yellowed teeth almost glinting in the light that shone down from the bright fluorescents. She glanced over her shoulder toward the kitchen and nodded her head at the man that poked his head through. He disappeared quickly, however, when he caught my gaze. When she turned her eyes back toward me, she gave me a calculating glance. "Now honey, it ain't usual for Ol' Willie t' take in strays like yourself. He usually rents 'em out, so you'll understand if he charges y' rent, right?"

Deflated, my hopes seemed to disappear into thin air as my shoulders slumped and I nodded my head slowly. I had taken a bit of money with me when I'd left the Institute, but I knew that it was nowhere near enough to support myself for more than a few days. _Why don't Ah ever think ahead? _I berated myself mentally as I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. "Ah understand, Anna. Ah just don't know how Ah'm gonna pay fah somethin' with no job."

"Well, I don't suppose workin' tables is your sort'a thing, but I bet Ol' Willie'd be glad to give ya a chance. After all, a sweet looking girl like you'd be able to pull in the tips," the knot in my chest slowly went away as I nodded my head quickly. "Or better yet, I bet Willie could get ya a job pouring drafts next door."

My brows arched tightly together as I wracked my memory for the building next to the diner, but I was coming up empty. "There's a bar next door?" I asked, my voice soft with confusion and intrigue as I thought about the prospect of having an _actual_ job. So maybe bar tending wasn't exactly the most glamorous job in the world, but it paid.

"Well, it's more o' a club-like place, sweets," she pursed her lips together for a moment. "Now, I can set ya up a meeting with Clark, he runs the joint, but that's about all I can do, honey. Ol' Willie's willin' t' put in a good word f' you, providin' that you're gonna rent one of his places out, 'kay?" her eyes stared deep into mine as I slowly nodded my head. With a satisfied smile, she pursed her lips together and leaned back against the leathery booth. "You go ahead and finish up here then head on over there. Don't worry 'bout the breakfast," she slid out of the booth and slid the package of cigarettes back into her apron before looking back down at me. "It's on me."

I watched as she strutted toward the kitchen and disappeared inside, presumably to wash her hands. Smiling to myself, I slowly finished the rest of my orange juice and took one last look at the diner itself. With a self-satisfied feeling, I slowly slipped on my gloves and picked up the duffel. I pulled the hood of the dark green jacket over my head before I walked out and out of the door. The bell tinkered overhead, causing me to smile even more. The moment I was outside and on the street, however, apprehension filled me. My eyes roamed over the buildings next to the diner, but nothing screamed _bar_ to me. In fact, they looked abandoned.

My eyes widened in surprise as the door of the building to the left of the diner suddenly opened. The doorway was completely dark, and I could see no further inside. It was eerie, and for a moment I considered turning around and walking away, pretending that I'd never been offered the job in the first place. But, something drew me inside of that door and inside of that building.

It was pitch black inside, and I jumped a foot off of the ground when the door was slammed shut behind me. I heard what sounded like locks being turned behind me as I clutched the duffel tightly in front of me, prepared to wield it as a weapon if necessary. But, it wasn't.

My eyes blinked quickly as light suddenly filled the room, momentarily blinding me. "Least Anna was smart 'nough t' give me a call this time. Else ya'd been standing outside all mornin' looking like a lamb lookin' for its shepherd, girl," I turned to find myself face to face with a shadowed figure. The glowing tip of a cigarette was the only thing that I could make out, until he stepped forward. He was a tall, gangly man, of probably thirty-years of age. He had a stubbled beard, bloodshot eyes, and blond hair that was just long enough to curl over his ears. _Bad boy alert_, I thought to myself as he gave me a quick glance over.

"Are yah Clark?" I asked, surprised by the calm that was evident in my voice. He only stared at me for a full minute while I shuffled my feet and did my best to keep his gaze. He finally nodded his head and gave a gruff affirmation. "Anna said that yah had a job bartendin'."

His dark blond brows rose slightly as he nodded his head. "How old are ya, girl?"

"Old enough," I retorted quickly, squaring my shoulders and looking him dead in the eyes. "Ah ain't gonna be drinkin' the stuff, just servin' it, Clark."

He considered me for a moment before he ran his left hand over his chin in thought. "Not sure this is the type of job you're looking for, sweet cakes. Once ya sign up, there's no turning back. You understand?" it was more of a statement than a question, so I found myself a bit confused.

"Yah act like Ah'm joinin' the mob, Clark," I shook my head and let out a forced chuckle as my eyes met his. "Wait, yah tellin' meh this is tha mob?" When he only continued to stare at me, I found my grip on the duffel loosening. "Oh mah Gawd," it fell to the floor with a dull thump as I shook my head. "Ah ain't lookin' fah no trouble. The mob ain't mah thing."

Clark stared at me with his head cocked to the side slightly before he pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and held it between his forefinger and his thumb. "No, it ain't the mob, girl. This look like the type o' place the mob be hanging out?" I shook my head quickly. "I'll give ya a trial run tonight. What ya want me callin, ya, girl?"

"Rogue," I replied immediately, not sure why I didn't feel comfortable giving him my real name. _Anna didn't even ask meh mah name_, I realized with a frown. "Mah name's Rogue."

Nodding to himself in approval, he took another pull from his cigarette. "This is just a front, Rogue. Ain't no one gonna come up in here expectin' to be served. You meet me here at ten tonight and I'll take yah to the location. Ya gotta a problem with that?" I shook my head quickly. It didn't really matter if I did have one, did it? "Good. Now, you better be wearin' somethin' other than those. It's a classy place, but you'll be expected to look at least attractive."

_Am Ah supposed tah be offended?_ I raised a brow in his direction. "Got a suggestion on the uniform, boss?"

"Tighter jeans, skimpy shirt, and pull your hair back," he unlocked the door and flicked off the light before opening the door a few inches. "Oh, you get paid in tips, but they're good. Just think of it this way: more skin showin' means more spendin' money," he pulled it open a few more inches and I quickly walked out.

The moment that the sunlight hit my face, a surge of relief coursed through me. The door clicked shut behind me, and I didn't bother to look back at it as I walked quickly over to the diner and into its warm comforting interior. Anna immediately rushed over, placing the coffee pot that she had in her hand on the counter before reaching me. "How'd it go?" her voice was full of hope as she beamed at me.

"Ah got the job, fah now," I beamed at her as I felt a feeling of satisfaction slip into my veins. "Ah think it's on a trial basis, but it's uh start!" I felt like shouting at the top of my lungs, but knew it would seem too childish.

"I knew you'd get the gig, sweets!" she clapped her hands together once before reaching into her apron and pulling out a key that dangled from a fuzzy troll keychain. "I already got things sorted with Willie and you're good to go," she pressed the key into my hand and closed my fist around it. "Now, I know that it ain't gonna look like much, but it's safe and it's clean. You just go right outside and go around to the alley and follow it back to the wooden stairs. They'll take ya on up to your new place," she seemed more excited by the prospect than I felt. "He said he'd come up on his break and talk t' you about things, alright?"

I nodded quickly and let out a short huff of breath. "Anna, Ah can't thank yah enough fah this," I began, but was cut off when she shook her head.

"I can tell that you're a good girl, sweets. Now you just prove me right and come back down here before your shift tonight and get ya some grub before headin' on over there," she grabbed my left shoulder and nudged me toward the door. "Oh, and ya might wanna take a good long nap, honey. No tellin' what time you'll be getting' back from your first shift!" she called out after me as the door tinkered shut behind me.

Dazed, I made my way around the backside of the row of buildings and walked down the deserted alley until I found myself at the base of a wooden staircase. The building was blue, though the base was brick and it looked old. I stepped onto the staircase hesitantly, worried that it would collapse any second. But, when I'd made it halfway up and it hadn't swayed, I deemed it safe enough. I made it to the top and stood on the landing for a full minute as I examined the worn door that had a faded _4_ on the front of it. I slowly inserted the key and turned it, pushing the door open when I heard an audible click.

_Sure is small_, I thought as I bit my lip and stepped into the dimly lit apartment.

But, for the moment, it was home.

* * *

**A/N: **Huh, Huh? Anybody pick anything strange up in this chapter? I hope that it doesn't seem like a major waste of time since it's not as filled with action and interesting facts as the chapters usually are. The reasoning behind the way this story is written will be revealed soon, I promise! Just read and digest the lovely facts. Please, review and let me know your thoughts on the story as a whole! 


	11. Chapter Eleven

_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

**_Nothing Else Matters_- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving _was_ her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N: I'm still surprised that you guys are enjoying this story! I've never quite written a story like this, but I'm enjoying the process. A special thanks to my beta for getting this back to me. I'm sorry that it's taken me a bit to update. I've been sick and lazy. Thank you to my reviewers: **_JC Roberts, PyroWhore, dulcesweet, Empress of Dune, cindy, LoganLuver101, _**and **_noro_.

**_Another special thanks to those of you that have been here since the beginning! I'm back in class Monday, so I'll be working hard to get more chapters out for you guys!_**

_**

* * *

**_

_**-Nothing Else Matters-**_

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

"What if I promise to be on my best behavior?" I pressed my palms against the thick glass and stared at the darkened room beyond with narrowed eyes. I maintained no sense of time inside of the cell that I was being kept in, and it made it all that much worse. The cycle of people that moved through the room just beyond that thick glass held no cycled pattern, one that I could rely on. It was as if they were doing their best to deceive and confuse me.

They were starting to succeed.

"And what makes you think that we would be foolish enough to do that?" one of the more likable captors, a broad man with thick blue fur and spectacles that looked out of place on his animal-like face. Even hanging upside down from the ceiling, the man proved to be professional. The jacket to his gray suit was hanging on the back of a chair in the corner, but the rest of him looked prepared to give an inaugural speech. Upside down. "Now, now, I believe that your nice room is all of the comfort that we can afford at the moment," he turned his attention away from me and back to the worn looking book in his hands.

Turning my head to the side, I strained to read the title of the old novel in his hands. "So, you're a Yeats man," I straightened and turned around, and rested my back against the glass.

"_**PUT off that mask of burning gold With emerald eyes. O no, my dear, you make so bold To find if hearts be wild and wise, And yet not cold**_," his voice echoed into the room and hit a nerve inside of me and caused me to clench my fists tightly.

"_**I would but find what's there to find, Love or deceit. It was the mask engaged your mind, And after set your heart to beat, Not what's behind**_," my voice echoed back, but not of my own volition.

"_**But lest you are my enemy, I must enquire. O no, my dear, let all that be; What matter, so there is but fire In you, in me**_?" he trailed off and I heard him dislodge himself from the ceiling and drop to the floor with a dull thud. I could only stand there and stare at my cot in the corner as I worked over the words in silence, but I was interrupted in my reverie by the sound of him tapping a nail against the glass. When I'd turned, he was staring at me with calculating blue eyes. "You know Yeats?"

My eyes narrowed as I crossed my arms over my chest. _I know Yeats? _"No, not really," I shook my head quickly, pulling my gaze away from his eyes and staring just to the right of him. As an educated woman, I knew that Yeats was a respected man of literature, but did I _know_ him. "No."

When my eyes found their way back to his, he was looking over me with an inquisitive quirk to his brows. "And yet you can so easily recite his work?" suspicion filled his voice as he tapped the cover of the small book in his hands with two of his fingers. "I daresay that you're as perplexed as I, Miss Danvers."

It hadn't taken me long to demand my freedom. But, unfortunately, I was not well known for my nature to roll over and take what's coming to me. They, the X-Men as they'd called themselves, had easily discovered my real identity. Or at least part of it. _That's what you get for talking to yourself though_, on a rampage in the early hours of the morning, I'd taken to throwing the cot around and further incriminating myself. "Just because you know my name doesn't mean that you know anything about me. So what if Remy was kind enough to give you the details about me? You're caging me like I'm some sort of wild animal!" I slammed my palms against the glass even though I knew that the force would have no effect.

The one they called Beast didn't even flinch as the sound reverberated through my small cell, and possibly even through the room beyond. Instead, he only stared at me with a subtle glint of sorrow and sadness in his eyes. "Why do you do this, Carol? You know as well as I that this body you inhabit is not your own."

**He's right**.

"Do you think that I asked for any of this? That I asked to be trapped in the body of this _girl_?" I demanded, backing up a few paces and gaining the distance that I desperately needed. "She stole my life from me. My job, my body, my dreams! Do you honestly think that I'm going to just let her live her life when she ruined mine? You're a fool!"

"How is seeking vengeance against her going to help you get your life back, Carol?" he turned away from me and walked toward the outskirts of the room beyond my cell and placed the book on a table.

"How is rolling over without a fight the way to get my life back?" I demanded, arching my brows down over my eyes as I fought the urge to plow myself into the wall in an attempt to escape. The last time that I'd attempted to escape my prison I'd ended up on my hands and knees, sobbing and shaking from the effort. Whatever the room was made out of affected me. I may have been invulnerable, but pain gets to me when it's in extreme doses. "You're all going to have to accept it, sooner or later. I _am_ Carol Danvers, and I don't give a damn who you want me to be."

He turned back toward me then, with his upper lip raised in a snarl and his eyes narrowed in mistrust. Everyone that came through the room beyond my cell spoke to me, but he was the first to actually threaten me in such a menacing fashion. "You will listen now, and you will listen good. While it is true that we haven't the details pertaining as to how this event came about, it is morally wrong for you to even consider taking over another woman's life. Your obvious hatred for her stems deep, Carol, something that I can relate to. But, is that reason cause enough to commit an injustice act such as this? My dear, have you yet to realize just how important Rogue is to the quality of our lives?"

**Does he mean it, Carol?**

"You want me to lose what little grip I have on things and willingly allow the girl that ruined my life to have hers back, Beast?" He only stood there and stared at me as I drummed my fingers against my elbows and stared at the glass that separated us. "The way I see it, this is my second chance at living my life. I'm not going to let your memory of the sassy little girl that stole my life away, get in the way of living my life the way that I was meant to."

"The question is, however, how do you know that you're meant to continue onward in this cycle of self-hate that you've been cycled into?" he walked toward me slowly and deliberately, until he was just inches away from the glass. Part of me knew that the only reason that he was talking to me was to try to dig deeper, to use a bit of his own thought process to spin my words around on me. I'd been trained for avoiding questioning of all types, but for some reason I found myself talking to him openly. _How long has it been since I've talked to somebody?_ "I know that right now it seems like we're your enemies, but we're your friends."

For a moment I got lost in his eyes, in his hopeful expression. But, something dark that was deep down inside of me pulled me back. I dropped my hands to my sides as I bit my lower lip to keep it from trembling. "You cut me off from the outside world _after_ I finally started to get my life back. And now you want me to consider you my _friend_? Do you think that I'm unable to discern reality from lies, Beast? I don't know you people, but I've learned enough to know that you are in fact not my friend. You're my enemy!"

His lips parted in a stunned expression as he cocked his head slightly to the side. He analyzed me for a moment longer before he let out a sigh. "If a patient were to be suffering, let's say, from dissociative identity disorder, do you think that as a physician that I would be wise to encourage them to enter the public realm?" I could only stare at him with my mind whirling over the words as I tapped my fingers against the sides of my thighs. "An educated theory that I've been mulling over is quite simple. In a way, you are a psyche, a personality trapped within the realms of Rogue's mind. So technically, I'm afraid, you do not exist. In a matter of speaking, you are only a figment of Rogue's imagination that has managed to break the holds of reality's grasp and seep through."

"Now you're insinuating that I'm basically just a figment of that bitch's imagination?" I shouted, my whole body tense and quivering slightly in anger. **He's right**. "You're wrong! You're going to have to let me out of this prison that you've made for me sooner or later, Beast. And rest assured, the moment that I'm out of here, I'm going to see just how far I can launch that furry little body of yours across the country!"

His eyes widened in pure unadulterated fear as he turned on his heel and walked toward the sliding metal doors that I knew led out of the room beyond my cell. He grabbed his suit jacket and his book with one hand and disappeared out of the swishing doors, leaving me alone in my solitude.

I could faintly remember days in my past life where I would have given anything for a few days of peace and quiet in a little room of my own, preferably on the beach. But, as I bounced up and sat down on the small, uncomfortable cot, I couldn't help but ache for the comfort of actual people. The X-Men that took turns watching over me as though I were some escaped convict were of no comfort to me. I found myself resting on my back, my hands folded under my head as I stared up at the boring ceiling of the prison that I now called home. _Good thing I'm not claustrophobic. _

Lying there, I let myself mull over the few thoughts that I knew were my own for a few moments. I briefly pondered over the fact that every time I fell asleep, I would wake up with a tray of food and a bag of hygienic items. In fact, the last time that I'd fallen asleep and woken up, I'd opened my eyes to the sight of a showerhead and a curtain near the toilet in the far corner. I'd been surprised to find a drain in the floor that would allow the water to run out, and for the first time in I don't know how many days I'd showered.

They may have been treating me decently, but I was still a prisoner.

When I sat back up a few minutes later, the sight of an Asian woman greeted me on the other side of the glass, sitting in a chair that was leaning against a table along the far wall. I cracked my knuckles as I watched her turn the page of the glossy magazine in her hands, and then pop a large bubble with the wad of gum in her mouth. Out of all the people that were on watch, she was the most interesting to talk to.

"Jubilee," I called out as I folded my legs under me and rested my palms on my knees. The moment that her eyes looked up, her lips thinned. "What are you reading?"

For a moment she ignored me, as if she were pretending that she couldn't hear me. I knew that she could, however, as some time during my stay some sort of equipment had been installed in both rooms. I could hear them without any problems, and I had no doubt that they could hear me. So, I waited for a second until her chest rose and fell heavily, signaling that she'd sighed. "A magazine. What's it look like?"

**Leave Jubes alone**.

"Beast made some interesting comments just a few minutes ago," I glanced down at my nails and pretended to examine them for a moment before continuing. "According to him, I'm Rogue."

I knew the moment that her eyes widened that she had taken the bait.

"Rogue? You're Rogue?" she shook her head slightly as she closed the magazine and dropped it on the table behind her. "But that doesn't make any sense."

"He said that I'm only a personality that takes up residence in her mind. It won't be long before I'm able to actually control everything and be myself again," I declared smoothly, watching as her eyes stared deep into mine. "I just wish that he would trust me when I say that I need to get out of here, get a whiff of fresh air. Because I know that's all I need to regain my senses, you know?" I slumped my shoulders and sighed heavily before I shook my head. "It's just so hard dealing with things when I'm in here, all alone."

My gaze was lowered to the floor, but I could clearly see her move forward toward a panel that was toward the left side of the window that separated me from the real world. A sadistic smile formed on my lips as I watched her slowly lower her hand toward a keyboard.

**Not Jubes**.

Just as her fingertips were coming to a rest on the keyboard itself, the metal doors swished open and a figure swaggered inside. His eyes met mine instantly and a snarl crossed his features as he narrowed his eyes. "Jubes, what the hell are ya doin'?"

And like that, my chance for escape had been ripped out of my pitiful grasp.

I said nothing more as I turned on my heel and made my way back to the cot and dropped down on top of it. I was trapped in a place that I didn't recognize with a group of people that wanted me to give up the only thing that I had left to live for: my life. I could barely hear them talking anymore when I closed my eyes and tried to slide into sleep gracefully.

But instead I was met with images of the one place that I never wanted to see again.

**That's right, yah hate this place, don't ya?**

* * *

**A/N:** Yes, this chapter was back in Carol's point of view. I hope that it proved to be interesting. As a disclaimer, I must inform you all that I discreetly borrowed a bit of W.B. Yeats glorious poem entitled _**'The Mask'**_. I think that it feels rather well with this story, don't you agree? For those that you that are wondering... No, I have never been to NYC. If there is a Willie's, I'm terribly sorry. Don't sue me. I much prefer the wild outdoors to the crowded streets of the city. Please, be kind and review. Maybe I'll manage to take my laptop to class with me next week and get the next one out sooner rather than later. 


	12. Chapter Twelve

_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

_**Nothing Else Matters**_**- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving **_**was**_** her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N:**** I'm so sorry that it's taken me literally forever to update, everyone! I've been really bleh lately. Sick, depressed, and trying to keep in school. Life just sort of sucks at the moment, you know? I finally got my laptop, but I've been so busy playing catch up that I haven't really had a chance to write until today. I felt bad that it's been so long and so the update's a bit longer than usual! No shout outs this time because so many of you reviewed that it'd take me forever to list you! But thank you for reviewing! And I hope that you all enjoy this look into Rogue's world. Please note that this has not been beta-read, as my beta can't get to it until Monday so I handled it. So, if you catch errors, blame... terrorism.**

* * *

_**-Nothing Else Matters-**_

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

Despite my nervousness, I managed to sleep for a few hours on the lumpy bed that was positioned between two small windows on the far side of the apartment. I guess some would call it a one bedroom apartment, but considering that the bedroom didn't even have a door and that the bed was actually sitting about ten feet away from the small couch, I just called it a big bedroom. There was a small kitchenette with a refrigerator large enough to maybe hold a gallon of milk and some lunch meat if I was lucky. Thankfully, it had a decent stove and counter space, which was strange. What would I need counter space for if I didn't have enough room to actually store any food? The living room area left much to be desired, but at least it had a thirteen-inch screen color television. Not that it got cable, though.

_Never thought mah first place would be like this_. I couldn't help but feel a bit proud of myself, regardless of the actual appearance of the place. My first day away from the Mansion I had managed to land a job and an apartment. It was something that I'd never even thought about when I'd walked out of those huge double doors and through that ancient wrought-iron gate. For the first time in a long time, I actually felt like an adult.

It was around nine o'clock before I found myself locking the door to my new home and hurrying to the diner to have a spot of dinner. I'd taken Clark's advice, of course, and worn the tightest pair of jeans that I'd brought with me and a low cut green shirt that I'd had to doctor a bit. After only a few days, I could honestly say that I wasn't used to being able to show as much skin as I wanted without serious after effects. I'd forgotten about the freedom that I could experience just by showing my arms, my hands.

"Oh! There you are!" Anna rushed towards me the moment that I walked in the door. She smiled brightly as she grabbed my hand and dragged me toward the same booth in the corner that I'd sat in just hours ago. She sat down quickly and waited for me to slide my large green jacket off of my shoulders before I could even sit down. "So, are you excited about tonight yet?" she pulled out a cigarette and lit it quickly, taking a long drag off of it before blowing a smoke ring out.

It took me a moment to notice that she was no longer wearing an apron, or carrying herself in the manner of a waitress. I deducted that she must have already gotten off of work, but had hung around in order to talk to me. "Actually, Ah am." My insides were all twisted up inside of me, as it was my first-time job. Oh sure, I'd babysat a bit during my days back in Mississippi, but I had a feeling that the job that Clark offered me was going to be a bit more than changing diapers. "Ah'm not sure what t' expect though, Anna."

"Rogue, don't worry so much." My brows rose dramatically as I realized that I'd never shared my name with the woman. She seemed to notice my uneasiness and smiled at me. "Don't think that Clark didn't come over and talk to me an' Ol' Willie 'bout your job, sweetie. After all, the old man wanted reassurance that you were going to be taken good care of."

Another waitress, a much younger one than I'd seen during the morning, flitted over to the table and placed two cups of coffee on the table and a piece of apple pie for each of us before flitting away again. My eyes rose to meet Anna's, but she only smiled.

"Gotta eat before your big night, sweetie," she took another drag of her cigarette before flipping the ashes into a glass astray. "So, what kind of a name is Rogue anyway?" she rose one drawn on brow slightly, and waited for my response.

The conversation reminded me of one that I'd had before, one that I'd shared with Logan the first time that I'd met him. "Different, Ah guess," I muttered softly. I scooped up a small bite of the pie in front of me on the fork and slowly slipped it inside of my mouth. It was good, but still tasted bland because of the way that my stomach kept twisting in knots inside of me.

She opened her mouth to reply, but at that moment an older looking man with a sagging belly slid into the booth next to Anna. My eyes widened in surprise, until I deducted that it must be Willie. And I was right.

"Well, you must be the girl I been hearin' about," he extended a callused hand my way and I slowly shook it. _Don't know if Ah'll ever get used t' this_, I thought to myself with a half smile. "Well, Rogue, is it?" I nodded slowly, "It's good to know that a sweet little thing like you going to be taken care of. Them streets out there be a dangerous place, yep. So, I guess we better get down to business, huh?"

"First of all, Ah'd like to thank yah fah bein' kind enough to rent the apartment to meh, Willie," I smiled at the man, relieved when a casual smile caused his crooked and yellowed teeth to shine at me. "How much are yah needin' a month?" I asked hesitantly. Wasn't that the way that they did it? Monthly?

He paused for a moment and glanced over at Anna before meeting my straying gaze. "For you? Three-fifty a month plus two meals a day down here." The offer was far better than I was expecting, obviously. So I was left feeling surprised. "Now I know that doesn't sound like much, but Anna here was once a girl like you," he draped his arm over the back of the booth and pulled her close to him. To say that I was surprised when she leaned up and gave him a fat kiss on the cheek would be an understatement. Ol' Willie, it seemed, was _her_ old man. "I know a girl in need when I see 'em, hear? So, you just let Clark show ya the ropes. He's a good boy."

I could only nod my head as I picked at the pie in front of me again. I couldn't bring myself to eat much of it though, so the next handful of minutes passed in silence. "Is there anything Ah should know about this job?" I asked softly, wondering if there was something that they weren't telling me. "It just seems too perfect, yah know? Like everything's fallin' into place. Ah ain't one tah look a gift horse in the mouth, but Ah'm nervous."

"I'm sure that you'll be just fine, Rogue," with her free hand, Anna reached across the table and squeezed mine. I was so surprised by the contact that I could only stare down at her hand as she slowly retracted it. "Clark's a good boy and wouldn't offer ya the job if he didn't think ya capable. The place'll be the opposite of what yer expectin', but it's nice just the same."

A bit of relief coursed through me as I sipped on my coffee and took a smaller bite of the pie. Over half of it still remained, but I couldn't bring myself to eat anymore. After all, I still wasn't sure what to expect from this new job of mine. My eyes searched the diner until they rested on a clock, informing me that I only had about ten minutes to go before I was to meet Clark next door. "Ah should probably get goin'," I murmured softly, more to myself than for their benefit. I pushed the slice of pie as far away from me as possible before I looked up at Anna and Willie. "Thank yah, so much."

The two bid me on my way with warm smiles as I wrapped my long green jacket around my torso tightly and slipped out into the cold night. The brisk air instantly chilled my cheeks, causing me to shiver once as I took a few steps toward the abandoned building and stopped in front of the boarded door. I knew that looks could be deceiving, but as I stood there I found myself wondering whether or not Clark would really take me to my new job. I was beginning to have doubts about the whole thing, and something in the back of my mind had been telling me to go to the nearest pay phone and call the Mansion. Well, something in the back of my mind had been telling me that since I woke up in that tiny apartment with barely nothing to my name. It wasn't Logan, Erik, or any of the other psyches that I'd absorbed into me over time. They'd been missing in action since I'd taken the cure. I still wasn't sure if their absence was permanent, and I actually found myself sort of missing them up there.

"Well, aren't we prompt?"

I turned and looked up at the haggard, but smiling, face of Clark and realized that he had dark blue eyes. "Thought it'd be best under the circumstances," I murmured as I slid my cold hands into the pockets of my coat. I felt silly standing there in the doorway of an abandoned building with a conniving-looking man staring down at me with a look of appraisal nestled in his features. While my gut told me that there was nothing wrong, my feet wanted to bolt to the nearest police station. But, I managed to stand there and smile up at him.

"Good, that means I'm not early," he muttered as he glanced up at the closest streetlight and then back down at me. Unlike earlier that day, Clark was outfitted in a nice pair of jeans and a sharp looking leather jacket. His shaggy hair was still curling over his ears, but instead of looking like some haggard drunk, he looked...dangerous. "The joint ain't too far away, but I left my bike there, so it looks like we're walking, dollface."

I only nodded my head slowly and followed closely beside him as he turned in the opposite direction of _Willie's_ and headed down the already partially deserted street. I kept my hands shoved into the pockets of my coat and kept my gaze either on the pavement in front of me or on his worn black boots. He didn't bother to keep the conversation going, and I saw no point in straining myself to talk to him when I could be spending that time preparing myself for whatever it was that I'd just signed up for. Clark said nothing along the way, but occasionally I thought I heard him whistling a familiar tune under his breath, only to brush it off as pure imagination.

"Looks like we're here," he announced suddenly, stopping in front of a darkened alleyway that was positioned between a large pizzeria and a dry cleaners. Unconvinced, I looked around for a possible place that would need such extreme measures for hiring, but found none in sight. Clark suddenly noticed my furrowed brows and let out a hoarse chuckle. "Not _here_, kid," he grabbed the sleeve of my jacket and dragged me deeper into the ominously quiet alley. "There."

Suddenly it was if someone turned on the light in my mind. What had appeared to be a dark alley just moments before suddenly sprung to life with bright lights and sounds. There in front of me was the entrance to a darkened building that appeared to be two stories tall and had no windows. There were a number of black-garbed men standing in front of a large double door that apparently led into the facility. My hands immediately clenched at the sleeves of my jacket as I swallowed the lump in my throat and glanced over at Clark.

"This is it?" I nearly had to shout over the noise. "But Ah didn't see anythin' till-"

"That's the point!" he leaned down and muttered in my ear as he grabbed the sleeve of my jacket again and dragged me toward the door. I could only stare up at as the gritty looking men dressed in fine black suits glared at me with menacingly looks of dare upon their features. It was as if they were sizing me up and just waiting for me to make the wrong move so that they could rip me apart, and thoroughly enjoy it. "She's with me, boys," Clark quickly spoke up, causing one of the men to throw open the double doors and usher us inside.

Shock registered the moment I stepped foot inside of the place and noticed the glitz and the glamour that caked the place in a blinding glaze. From the outside it looked like some sort of private club, but on the inside it looked like some sort of lost paradise. Everywhere I looked, genres and styles clashed. Women wearing priceless evening gowns were sitting at tables with men wearing worn jeans and shirts. Men wearing James Bond-type tuxedos were surrounded by women that looked as though they'd just rolled out of bed. Off of a corner, that is. There were couches and large throw pillows everywhere in one corner, where a large group of people sat holding champagne glasses and necking. Along the far wall there was a huge bar, and two women were busy behind it, serving drinks to the patrons. If ever I had dreamed of the perfect night club, this was it. Then I noticed the clustered tables where men and women alike appeared to be playing cards, or craps.

"They're gambling," I muttered in awe as Clark continued to drag me further inside. I had to shake my head to clear it a bit before I fumbled anymore than I already had, but I was still in a daze when I found myself standing next to a long bar. The bar was long, probably fifty feet long in total, and the surface of its top was smooth and shiny. Patrons sat along it in various places, resting on tall bar stools that were silver and green, and looked particularly comfortable. "Wow," was all I could manage as Clark literally placed me on a stool before sitting down beside me and calling a very well-endowed redheaded bartender over.

"Hey ya, Clarkie! I was beginnin' to wonder if you was gonna show up tonight!" The woman seemed to gush at Clark, leaning toward him and allowing her dark blue top to slide further and further down, revealing that her bra did indeed _not_ match her shirt. She almost reminded me of a younger version of Doctor Grey, but the outfit wasn't something I would have ever imagined the prim and proper doctor wearing. "Oh, you bring us some fresh meat, did ya', Clark?" I found myself under the full scrutiny of the scantily clad woman that whose dark brown eyes were running over me like some hungry savage.

"Anna was kind enough to send this young one over t' me," Clark quickly explained, resting his elbows on the bar as though it were the most natural thing in the world. He glanced over at me and gave me a casual smile before wrapping one arm around my shoulders in a friendly older brother manner. "This here's Rogue, our new help. Rogue, I want ya t' meet Cinnamon."

"Well, that's an interesting name," Cinnamon leaned forward, her lower lipped quirked in an interesting manner as she searched my eyes. "Well, I've had worse to deal with before, Clark. I'm sure that I can whip this one into shape before you know it." Standing back away from the bar top, Cinnamon glanced around at the large display of bottles that lined long shelves behind the bar. She selected a large bottle before turning around and placing it on the bar top, smiling while her hands disappeared under the bar and then reappeared with two shot glasses. My stomach clenched in nervous anticipation as I watched her slowly twist the top off of the bottle and pour the golden colored liquid into each shot glass. "Well, honey, since it's your first night on the job, lets get things started right!" Cinnamon exclaimed as she shoved one of the glasses toward me and picked up the other one.

But, I could only stare down at the liquid. I'd never really had any alcohol before, and I was beginning to think that I didn't want anything to do with the horrible substance. It'd done terrible things to my daddy, and I didn't want to walk down that same path. But, Cinnamon and Clark were both looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to down that shot like there was no freaking tomorrow. _Mah job's on the line_, I knew, but at the same time I was scared to death that just one sip would forever change me. Alone and on my own for the first time since Laughlin City, I felt as though I hadn't a friend in the world.

My hand seemed to slide forward on its own accord, completely ignoring all of the morales and values that I'd thought were set in stone in my soul, and grasping that shot glass like a life preserver. Pulling it close to my lips, I took a hesitant sniff of the liquid and my eyes widened. _Daddy never drank nothin' like this_, I decided instantly. "Well, here's tah a good first night!" Cinnamon and I toasted one another before we both threw back the shot.

The moment that the liquid swirled into my mouth and down my throat, I felt as though I were going to fall off of the barstool. The shot glass clanked to the bar noisily as I found my hands gripping the edge of the bar top so hard that my fingers ached. My stomach rolled and tumbled, threatening to heave up the awful concoction that I'd just forced my body to suffer.

"Well, Clark, looks like this one's more innocent than the last!" Cinnamon laughed before she reached forward and brushed her fingers over my right hand. "Honey, it's alright. Some just ain't tequila people. Now we know that next time you're gonna have t' have a chaser. Here, take this," her hands disappeared under the counter again and reappeared with a glass full of dark liquid. This time I was far more hesitant, eyeing the glass with disdain and taking a sniff before even sipping on it. It tasted like soda, but as a novice, I couldn't be sure that she hadn't laced it like my daddy used to do to his soda on the Fourth of July. "Don't worry, it's just a soda, honey. Your shift done started! The boss'd kill me if I let you get drunk on your first night!"

Nodding my head slowly, I took short, slow sips of the liquid until my stomach felt calm enough to handle. "Thanks, Cin," I whispered hoarsely as I took a deep, calming breath. Five minutes into my first night and I already felt like a fool. _This is crazy_, I licked my bottom lip before sidling my glance over toward Clark. "So, what's the deal?"

In response, Clark slid off of his stool and stood at his full height, towering over me with a slight grin on his face. "Well, you're in Cinnamon's hands now, dollface. I got some business to take care of with the big man. Cinnamon here will teach you the ropes and get you going. Just remember, you need anything, anything at all, you get a hold o' Clark, right?" He leaned down toward me, close enough to make me cringe inside and move back just an inch or two. His dark blue eyes sparkled with mischief as he let out a hoarse laugh and ran a finger over a strand of white hair that had fallen over my eyes. "You take care there, Rogue," he murmured before tipping his head in Cinnamon's direction. But then, he was gone without another word, disappearing into the crowded room like a whisper of a shadow.

"Cherry, I'm down for five. Cover me!" Cinnamon shouted suddenly as she placed her palms on the bar top and boosted herself up on top of it, sidling along on her bottom and hopping down on the patron side before dusting off the back of her very tight-fitted jeans. Men and women alike were hooting and hollering as she grabbed the sleeve of my jacket and pulled me off of the stool before dragging me in the opposite direction that Clark had disappeared. I felt completely out of my element, but Cinnamon seemed to make it less intolerable.

She was a few inches shorter than me, even with what appeared to be three-inch heels. So, when she glanced up at me with an impish grin on her lips, I couldn't help but smile. "I know it probably seems like a lot to take in all at once, but I promise that it ain't as scary as it seems. This here's the sort of employee lounge. Only the grunge of the place can get in, so basically us." The room that Cinnamon showed me into was larger than my new apartment, and a hundred times better furnished. There was a tall refrigerator on the far side of the room, and a small table with four chairs. It was obviously the break room. "The phone's for anyone, it's clean and untraceable. Feel free t' use it whenever ya want. The television's got like five hundred channels or something, so you can kick back on your break." The redhead moved around the well furnished room easily, showing me everything that it had to offer. "Basically, this is for us. Nice, huh?" A smile spread across her face as she placed her hands on her hips.

"It's nice," I agreed quickly, smiling at her as I slowly shrugged my green jacket off. My eyes met hers and she nodded toward a long row of dark black lockers that didn't appear to have locks on them. Cin showed me an empty one and declared that it was mine for the remainder of my stay. "Yah ain't worried 'bout someone stealin' stuff?" I asked, amazed that despite the place's atmosphere, that she wasn't worried about her stuff.

"You crazy?" she raised one well-sculpted red brow inquisitively as she shook her head from side to side. "The security in this place is better than at a freaking palace!" she exclaimed, her cheeks flushing slightly. "Trust me, babe, you ain't gotta worry 'bout your shit coming up missing here."

Then we were on our way again, after Cinnamon added darker eyeliner to my already darkened eyes and made me blush by arranging my top so that it showed just as much cleavage as hers. The total tour took about half an hour, and I was in awe the entire time. _The Club_, as Cinnamon called it, was absolutely huge. It had an in-house casino, bar, restaurant, and club. Apparently there were actual offices in the very back, but we'd stopped short of a line of five burly armed guards and meandered back toward the craps tables when one had tried to cop a feel. All in all, the place was completely glamorous, lacking only a golden fountain that I was told had been removed a few weeks before when a few drunken patrons had tried to chip the faucet in order to go home a bit richer.

"Ah can't believe this place. It's amazing," I confided in Cinnamon as she slowly led me back to the bar. "What's it like workin' here?" I asked her as we managed to get by a couple of grabby men that eyed us with a bit more appreciation than I liked.

Cinnamon, whom until then had been gushing with happiness and excitement, suddenly turned more serious than I'd ever thought possible for her. She grabbed my arms, which caused my stomach to clench, and looked me in the eyes. "Rogue, you seem like a really nice girl, so I'm gonna be straight with you, okay?" I could barely nod my head as she took a deep breath. "This place...it's nice. It's got everything that a girl would like to have in her sort've workplace. The gents are always smoking, throwing down more in tips than any person in their right mind should, and the big boys don't let anyone give us any trouble." So far, it seemed as though the job was alright, as if it were worth the strangeness that surrounded it. "But, Rogue, it ain't something you can walk away from, okay, girl? If you're here, you're here. You're for everything it represents and against everything it hates. You're a part of it now, and there's no going back.

A forced laugh bubbled up out of my chest as I pulled out of her grasp and brushed my hair out of my eyes. Cin had suggested I leave it down, because according to her, it looked sexy. "Cin, sugah, Ah understand what yah tryin' tah say, Ah think. But, Ah need this job. So, Ah want yah tah be honest and tell meh tah leave if yah really think Ah should." When she was silent for a full thirty seconds, I knew that she had nothing further to say about the subject. "Look, Ah know something's up from tha way that people act 'round here, but Ah'm willin' tah accept that it's just a job, nothing more."

"See, that's where you're wrong, Rogue." I let out a short squeak when she grabbed me by the arm and literally dragged me toward the bar. She shoved me through a three foot tall swinging door and I was suddenly on the working side of the bar, awed and silenced by its overwhelming size. I was shown to the sink, where I quickly washed my hands. The next thing I knew, Cinnamon was introducing me to the other three girls that either waitressed or bartended, and then showed me the ropes of bartending. "Look, Rogue," her voice was low as she showed me how to mix a martini, "This place isn't exactly Club Retro. It's dangerous if you don't watch yourself."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I was quiet while Cinnamon and the other bartender on duty for the evening, Cherry, showed me how to keep the drinks flowing and how the register worked. Unlike most places that I'd seen, it was very high tech and had, or so I'd been told, at least five grand in it at all times. At first I hadn't thought it possible, until I realized that the drawer itself was unlike any I'd ever seen, as it had slots for fifties as well as hundreds, instead of just the standards twenties, tens, fives, and ones slots. When I had voiced my disbelief that any proprietor would trust his employees with such a huge sum of money, I was quickly informed that the whole bar area, as well as every other area in the place, was under video surveillance.

"Trust me, honey, ain't nobody gettin' outta here with money unless they done earned it or won it." Cinnamon had laughed off my apprehension and rushed me over toward Cherry.

Cherry was a tall brunette with a well-endowed chest and long legs. She reminded me of some girl that'd be perfect for bartending, and I was relieved when I found out that she was nice and willing to give me a chance. She'd showed me how to toss the bottles around, which I discovered that I could do pretty well, and had taking a liking to me. The waitresses, Sherry and Wendy, were both busty blondes that spoke in _Oh my gosh_, a language that only a blonde can fully comprehend. Their skirts were so short that I actually asked Cherry if the girls bothered to wear panties, but I never really received an answer.

So, before I knew it, I had settled into my job for three hour's time, quickly picking up on everything and feeling like I was doing a pretty good job. The place was bustling and alive, and it in turn made me feel energetic and alive. I couldn't even count the tips that I'd shoved in my pockets already, but it was enough to make me almost giggle. So, when Cherry and Cinnamon bustled around me at about one thirty, I was surprised.

"Something wrong?" I asked as I handed a man his scotch on the rocks before eyeing the two of them in turn.

"Head honcho's rolling through with a few VIPs, babe," Cherry answered with a fake smile on her lips, motioning with an inclination of her head toward where the crowd seemed to be parting for a small entourage. The small group of four or five appeared to be led by a man in his early thirties, dressed in a dark blue suit with his long blonde hair slicked back. He was the very epitome of sex appeal, flashing a gorgeous smile at everyone he passed on his way towards the craps table. All of the men in his little group appeared to be almost as handsome, all worthy of just as much attention. Especially a fella dressed in a black suit, wearing sunglasses. "Those are the big shots that you need to get to know. Now. You piss one of them off, and you're dead, girl."

"Dead?" I chuckled, watching as the group settling along a round table to play poker, passing up on the craps table. "Nice, Cherry," I shook my head as I took a large tip from the scotch man and shoved it in my back pocket.

"She's serious, girl. The blonde, that's Victor Vanzetti, head of the New York Thieves Guild," Cinnamon whispered in my ear quickly, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to rise of their own volition. When she noticed my surprised look, the color seemed to drain out of her face. "You had no idea?"

"What?" I whispered, not trusting my own voice.

"You had no idea that you were working at the Thieves Guild? Girl, this is one of the main bases, and you'll do well to forget that."

The world continued to spin around me as I stared in shock at the men that were playing poker and were apparently high-ranking officials in whatever it was that I'd just stepped knee-high into. And to think a few nights ago I was arguing with Bobby Drake about whether or not to actually get the cure.

_Seems we all gotta grow up sometime_.

"Except Ah get a crash course in it," I murmured as my shaking hands filled another drink order.

And then another, and another.

* * *

**A/N: **Yes, it does appear as though Rogue is working with the Thieves Guild. Curious? All characters in this chapter except for Rogue are hand-made (unless you caught a reference), so please don't steal them. I worked hard on this chapter, trying to make it flow well and make it as descriptive as possible. I'll try to start pumping them out like I was before. One every few days. Please review and let me know that the story's not a lost cause. 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

1_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

_**Nothing Else Matters**_**- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving **_**was**_** her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N:**** Yes, here's another update. Thankfully, a lot quicker than the last one took me. I'm starting to get back on track, and I think I'm going to be going strong for quite some time! I'm going to try to get a chapter a week out for you guys. A special thanks to my beta, Stef, who got this back to me so that I could post it before going to bed. Thank you to my reviewers: **_JC Roberts, Travelling Army Brat, PyroWhore,_ and _Green Peridot._

_**

* * *

**_

_**-Nothing Else Matters-**_

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

By the end of my twelve-hour shift, my head was pounding and I was ready to crawl into my bed and sleep for at least a few days. My first night at my first job had gone better than expected, and when I slipped on my jacket and said goodbye to Cherry, Wendy, and Sherry, I could only think about how good it felt to be going home. But when I made it out into the main room, my tired body tried to reboot as I wondered whether I was allowed to partake in any of the establishment's offered forms of entertainment.

"Girl, I know what you're thinking," I could only laugh as Cin bombarded me just moments after I'd left her and the others in the lounge. "You're thinking that maybe you should try some of your tip money and see if you can double it, right?" While she slipped on her white faux fur jacket, she slowly walked the two of us toward the main doors. "I know that it might seem like a good idea, but the boss frowns upon it. But, trust me, if one if his high rollers or one of his buddies comes up in here and they expect you to play _pretty lucky lady_ for awhile, you damn sure better do it."

I still wasn't quite sure how to take Cinnamon, so I ultimately decided to just let things slide by for the most part. "So yah saying that unless Ah'm invited, it ain't best t' lay mah money down?" I asked while my gaze lingered on the small group of men that were still playing poker. Victor Vanzetti and his colleagues had been at it for hours, literally, but they didn't seem at all fazed by it. Jackets were hanging on the back of well-cushioned chairs as they all continued to stare one another down.

"That's exactly what I'm saying, babe. You don't sit your ass down unless it's in the bathroom or the lounge unless someone tells you to sit your ass down." Cin's laughter caused me to laugh, and before I knew it, we were laughing and clutching at one another as two heavyset men escorted us out the main doors. "Thanks, boys," Cinnamon smiled up at the two and pulled something out of her jacket pocket. "Girl, you got a ride home?" she asked suddenly as we walked away from our place of business and toward the mouth of the mysteriously dark and foggy alley.

I considered the ten or so blocks that rested between myself and my destination and cringed. "No, Clark walked meh here. Ah ain't got no car or nothing," I admitted begrudgingly. I was suddenly very much regretting not taking up Clark's offer an hour ago when his drunken form had stumbled toward the bar and offered me a ride on his crotch rocket. "Guess Ah should get going."

"Hell no," Cinnamon grabbed my arm and dragged me down a fork in the alley through a walking space that was no bigger than four foot wide. A minute or two later we arrived at an elevator that was nestled alongside a very blank-looking building. The next thing I knew, the doors had slid open and we were standing in an underground garage of sorts. "Yeah, I know, impressive, ain't it?" She actually chuckled at me, as she had to forcefully drag me pass cars that cost more than I could even imagine. It was hard for me to comprehend that the parking garage was for the club itself, and that its patrons used it in order to be as conspicuous as possible. "You look like you're completely blown over by all of this," Cinnamon observed with a smile as she led me to a small blue Toyota Camry.

"It's just a bit overwhelmin'," I admitted with a half smile as she unlocked the doors and we both slid inside. The car was small, but still roomy enough for the two of us to be comfortable. "Ah suppose that Ah should come to expect the unexpected by now," I admitted gruffly. After all, I had spent a number of years in a School that had a secret underground level that housed a huge jet and a top-secret training facility for a team of combatant mutants. And yet, I was still surprised by this somewhat hidden facility that was just a front for some of the most powerful men in the whole city. "So, what's the whole deal with the Club, Cin? Ah couldn't even see tha thing until we were like right in front of it earlier."

She didn't respond as she started the car and pulled it out of the parking spot and toward, what I assumed to be, the street exit. Despite the early morning hour, I was surprised to see little to no traffic on the small side street that the garage exited onto. The entrance itself was well hidden, and I was glad to know that its existence was largely unknown. Only moments later, after a rather uncomfortable silence, did Cinnamon actually speak up.

"I know that it's sort of a shock, Rogue. Hell, I'm not even sure if I really understand it." She glanced over at me and let out a short sigh before she continued. "The place is really well protected, Rogue. The Guild's got people guarding it that you could never even imagine. I've heard that a lot of people in the Guild are actually mutants." The word didn't sound like some sort of disease when it rolled off of Cinnamon's tongue. No, it sounded like natural human curiosity, which made me feel a bit more at ease in such close confines with my new co-worker slash friend of sorts. "I've personally been told by a few of the higher ups that they have some telepaths guarding the building at all times, and that the security is so good that they've been able to continuously project some sort of image outside of the building to deter tourists."

While that would explain the strange interference that I'd sensed when I'd walked into the alley, it still didn't quite explain the whole point behind the Club. The only thing I'd learned through the night was that this Thieves Guild was not to be messed with. And I wasn't exactly sure what to think about it. Not that I could do anything about it now. No, I'd signed up for it, it seemed. "So, yer tryin' tah tell meh that whatever tha place is, it's guarded by mutants? Come on, Cin, how likely does that seem?"

"The New York Thieves Guild is just one of many in the world, Rogue. It's sort of like a post, a base of sorts. While it doesn't look like much, nearly every person you saw tonight is a member of said Thieves Guild. Do you understand what that means?" By that point, we were at a four-way intersection and stopped at a red light. While I was still trying to work everything through in my mind, Cinnamon was expecting me to put everything together with only a few strange clues. When the light turned green, she let out a huff of breath and hurried to explain. "That means that everyone you saw tonight is either a member of the Guild or related to it in some way. If you saw some nasty looking woman hanging off a man's arm, that means that she's already connected to it in some way. What I'm trying to say is..." she trailed off, tightening her grip on the steering wheel to the point where I could see her knuckles whitening. "What I'm trying to say is that this isn't just any kind of club, Rogue. It's invitation only. These people are so strict about who they bring in that they have mutants guarding the damned place!"

"Or so yah say, Cin." I tried to laugh it off, but with each passing moment I felt as though I'd stumbled into the biggest and worst place in all of New York City. Anna had offered me the key to my future, or so I had thought. But somehow I had inadvertently walked into a death trap. "Look, it's just hard tah believe, is all. Ah know yah just tryin' tah make meh feel a bit better 'bout the whole thing, but it ain't helping."

"Rogue, I'm not trying to make you feel better, girl. I'm trying to _tell_ you what you just got yourself into. There's no walking away from this without a boatload of repercussions, so be ready for them." The next thing I knew, she had pulled up in front of _Willie's_ and stopped. When I gave her a curious look, she shrugged her shoulders. "This is where Clark always picks them up. Now, make sure you spend a bit of your tips on clothes and shoes, babe. You ain't gonna be wantin' to wear the same thing tonight. Oh, and maybe get yourself a bike or something."

I could only slowly nod my head as I unbuckled my seat belt and slid out of the car quietly. Standing there with the door open for a moment, I leaned back in and cleared my throat gently. "Does that mean everyone in there was a mutant, Cin?"

"What? No!" she actually chuckled as she rapped her fingers against the steering wheel. "Hell, I don't think they even let the mutants see the light of day, if you get my drift."

After a few more heartfelt goodbyes, I shut the door and watched her small blue car pull away from the curb and disappear down the road. The cool morning air was refreshing after a night spent inside a dark and slightly smoke-filled club. All in all, I had to admit that my first night at work went pretty well, and despite the latest revelations, I was still glad that I'd been a part of it.

The bell over the door jingled the moment that I stepped foot inside _Willie's_, smiling at a few of the patrons as I made my way across the restaurant and settled in that same familiar booth. It felt as if I'd just left but as if I hadn't been there in ages at the same time. So, when Anna bustled over toward me with a huge plate filled with breakfast delights, I could only smile. But when I noticed that she had a huge Styrofoam container in her other hand as well as a large Styrofoam cup, I grinned outright.

"Figured you'd be hungry, but wantin' t' relax and get right to bed!" She literally gushed at me as she sat everything down and urged me to open the large container. I did, and could only smile as she dumped the food inside carelessly, causing the sausage links to roll under the pancakes and the eggs to drop on top of the whole concoction. Then, to add to the whole strangeness of the situation, she dumped a rather unhealthy helping of syrup over everything, dousing it all in the sticky liquid. "Now, you get on out of here and get on home, girl. Make sure you get out today and get ya some clothes, here!"

Before I knew it, she had grabbed me up by my arm and had shoved me out the jingling door. Balancing the container in one hand and the cup in the other, I managed to make it through the alley and to my little apartment. I dug the key out of my pocket, sitting the cup down for a second, before pushing the door open. "Ah'm home," I announced, as if it wasn't obvious enough.

And twenty minutes later I found myself fresh from a shower, sitting on the small bed with wadded money all around me and the container across my folded legs. I gobbled the food up like a starving child. My eyes were glazed over in amazement as I continued to slowly unwad every folded note and stack them all together, keeping careful track in my head. "Ah can't believe they were tippin' meh like that," I couldn't help but shake my head in wonder as I unfolded yet another wadded up hundred-dollar bill. It honestly made me wonder how many times I'd actually glanced down at the tip money when someone had handed it to me. But I was still pleased when I'd finished and I'd totaled all of the tip money.

"Twenty-five hundred dollars," I whispered as I closed the container of food and sat it on the floor next to the bed. Never before had I held such an incremental amount of money in my hands, and it almost felt magical to be able to do so. My mind whirled, imagining all of the things that I could purchase with the money, all of the good that it could do. "Ah'm rich," I murmured, realizing that I'd already made my rent for the month and that I could move out of the apartment if I wanted to. "But Ah better stay. 'Sides, it ain't so bad."

So, with my first night of work behind me, I started my day with a long, long nap. My schedule felt horribly messed up, as I was not used to sleeping days and working nights. But, when I woke up at almost five in the evening, I felt refreshed and ready to take on the world. My first stop was a shower, a nice and hot shower that left me feeling completely rejuvenated, as if I were queen of the world. I'd hoped to wake up a bit sooner in order to give myself time to get some shopping done, but decided that the clothes that I had would be okay for that night, but not for much longer. So, dressed in a pair of tight and low-fitted black jeans and a green camisole and my boots and jacket, I strolled out of my little apartment while humming happily to myself. My night had just begun, and it was already going well.

My first stop was the diner, of course, and I was beyond pleased when I saw two familiar faces sitting in _my_ booth. A smile lit up my face as I slid off my jacket and slid in across from the two of them. "Well, Ah wasn't expectin' t' see ya'll here. What's up?"

Both Cinnamon and Cherry smiled warmly at me as they stirred their coffees slowly. They were both already dressed for a night of work, and I could tell that they'd drawn the attention of a few of the elder gents in the room. But the two handled it well and pulled off the sexy in a not so subtle way with a few bats of their eyes. "Well, if it isn't our southern belle." Cinnamon was the first to address me, but Cherry did her part by offering me a smile that would turn most men into puddles at her feet. "How you doing this evening, honey?"

"Feeling like uh million bucks," I admitted with a huge smile as I leaned back against the booth and let out a sigh. "Ah ain't never had a job before, so it was good comin' back and seein' it all out in front of meh, yah know?" The two of them only nodded as Anna bustled over out of nowhere and placed a plate in front of each of us. Smiling in return, I picked up my fork and watched her quickly walk away before scooping up a bite of mashed potatoes. "Ah'm actually lookin' forward t' going back tonight. So, Ah'm glad that ya'll are here. Maybe Ah can get a ride," I joked as I concentrated on the fried chicken dinner that Anna had presented me with.

I nearly missed the look that the two shared with one another, but I managed to catch it. Before I could ask what was the matter, Cherry spoke up. "You know, Rogue, you don't have to stay at _The Club_. You're not deep enough that anyone would have to worry about you if you just disappeared, never came back." Cherry's blue eyes seemed to shine with an intellect that I could never match. The woman was probably in her early twenties, maybe mid-twenties at best. Yet, she looked as if she'd seen the darkest places in the world; those darkened corners that the rest of us would just as soon forget than remember.

"What are yah tryin' tah say?" I asked quietly, keeping my eyes glued on the two of them as I placed my fork on my plate. "Yah tryin' tah say that Ah shouldn't go back? Ah'm not gettin' any of this. Ah thought I did a good job last night. Ah didn't know that-"

"Rogue, this isn't about your performance," Cinnamon quickly spoke up, stopping me from pleading my rather pitiful case. "This is about us, two of your friends, worrying about you. _The Club_, you know, unless you're out of choices, it just isn't the right choice. Don't just pick the first option because you think that it's you're only one." Her words made me question my recent decision to leave the Mansion, but I pushed the thought out of my head as I listened to her soothing voice wash over me. "The place isn't safe, you know that. What goes on inside and outside of that place, when in regards to the patrons, is less than worldly. We just don't want you to get caught up in the same sick cycle that we've been trapped in."

Though her words were said calmly and in a quiet voice so that no one would overhear, I could sense that they were said with a decisiveness that I'd witnessed in so few. She absolutely believed every word that she said, every single syllable. Cinnamon didn't want me to stay at _The Club_, and apparently Cherry was on her side. I was simply at a loss for the proper reaction as I stared across at them with a look of confusion etched upon my features. These women, they were my newest friends and my supposed peers, and yet, they were looking at me as though I were some sort of child, some innocent bystander that needed to be looked after. They were treating me like I was incapable, like I was some sort of…student.

"Look, Ah know ya'll just wanna help meh, but Ah got t' see this through. 'Sides, Ah ain't got nothin' worth losing. What's it matter if Ah waste mah life there, huh? It's better than spending mah days and nights on the streets, pushin' drugs and lookin' fah mah next John, right?" The two of them could barely look me in the eye as I took a forced bite of food and managed to swallow it. But I couldn't shake the feeling that their looks had faded into those of resignation, as if they'd given up on their cause. But, in a way, I was thankful. I didn't want to have to deal with them looking down at me every two seconds. "So, are we clear then?" I asked slowly, deliberately, wanting to make sure that the subject was permanently dropped.

And so it was.

The next two weeks of my life were a never-ending cycle of the same old routine. I would spend my mornings and early afternoons sleeping, living the life of a vampire. But I would spend my afternoons with Cinnamon, and most often Cherry. The money I brought in on a regular basis was more than enough to start my own savings account, but I learned quick that unless you want to give yourself up, name and address included, that banks don't want nothing to do with you. What I didn't put back as savings, I spent on clothes or shoes, or things that I would have never considered just weeks ago. So, I learned to spend my money wisely, to invest it in the right sorts of things. Soon, I had myself a reliable form of transportation. Granted, the other girls laughed at me when I pulled up on a sleek green Honda motorcycle, but I still loved every second that I got to spend on it. I even invested in a sleek laptop computer that I spent a great deal of time on. I'd always loved writing, so I got in the habit of writing short stories and keeping a journal on it. It felt good to have money, a reliable job. In fact, I finally felt as though I'd settled into a routine that I could live with.

My first month anniversary away from the Institute was spent slamming back shots of tequila with Cinnamon and Cherry on our night off. There was a rather private gala scheduled that night at _The Club_, but the doormen let us in, warning us to only act as though we were part of the crowd. All of the big boys were there, and I felt like a queen sitting at the bar and staring out at the club. The three of us were dressed to kill, in exuberant cocktail dresses that we'd bought for the occasion and ice-pick heels that very few women could pull off. Was I surprised when we were invited to the main table to sit with the head honcho himself? No.

A group of five men sat around the table, playing poker as though the world depended on the outcome of the game itself. A number of women, including the three of us, were simply enjoying the company of the well-dressed and impressive men. In fact, Cinnamon and I had both drawn the attention of Victor Vanzetti, the most important man that _The Club_ had to offer. I knew that I should have minded his hand caressing my thigh under the table between bets, but I only smiled up at him and over at Cin, who was on his other side. Besides, Victor was a rather attractive man, known, at least to me, for his ability to focus on one person in a crowd of many; to make everyone feel special. I probably should have been bothered by the fact that only hours into the night, Victor was calling me _his girl_. But I felt like a princess, like nothing could ruin my evening. Not even the other thugs that littered the club that tended to look at me as though I were some sort of royalty. Or, at least they did the moment that the word traveled.

I was Vanzetti's girl.

I found myself fortunate, lucky enough to have drawn the attention of such a popular man. Besides, Victor didn't ask much of me. He just wanted a bit of arm candy that could laugh and smile at all of the right times. I was good at that. Pretending to care when I really didn't. Smiling when I wanted to gouge someone's eyes out.

Unfortunately, there were a lot of people that didn't see eye to eye with me on the subject, that didn't like that I was the only one privy enough to the head honcho's well manicured roaming hands. I didn't so much like his roaming hands, but they made me feel safe, protected, and powerful. But the first time that I met my real opposition, I was thrown for a spin.

She strolled toward the center table like some dastardly concubine sent from hell with an angel's face. Long blonde hair spilled over her bare shoulders as she stalked toward the table with a glint of a smile shining in her eyes. Those blue eyes met mine and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end as I watched her with hooded eyes. I found myself cringing internally, looking at her as my opposition, even after she gracefully dropped into a man's lap, distracting him from his cards.

"Chere," the man who seemed to always prefer his sunglasses even indoors welcomed the distraction. I'd noticed throughout the evening that the mysterious, though handsome man was quite the card shark. He seemed to be on good terms with Victor, so I assumed that the man was part of this illusive Thieves Guild that I'd only heard whispers about. "Nice o' ya t' join us," the man laughed as he nuzzled his date's neck.

And then our eyes met again.

Blue brushed against green and I felt my stomach drop. Those eyes seem to stare out at me with a ferocity that made my skin crawl. It felt as though she were sizing me up for her next victim.

"Looks like my lover wins again." Her voice was like satin as her date laid out his cards and she gladly helped him rake in the chips.

I'd faced knowing that I was getting deeper and deeper into danger up until that moment. I'd taken it all with a grain of salt, merely choosing to acknowledge some things and ignore others. But at that moment, I accepted the cold hard truth. I didn't understand why I was so sure, but my gut insisted that this was it. That single moment made me realize the truth of the situation I'd ignored for a whole month.

I was going to regret ever walking into _Willie's_.

* * *

**A/N:** So, I really hope that this wasn't too hard to follow. It raises a lot of questions, and answers quite a few. This is just a glimpse at what happened to Rogue during her year away from the Mansion. So, keep that in mind. See any characters that we know? Eh? Eh!

Next chapter: **The Rogue Returns**


	14. Chapter Fourteen

_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

_**Nothing Else Matters**_**- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving **_**was**_** her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N:**** I hope that you all realize how hard I've been working trying to make sure this makes sense. It still doesn't though, which is frustrating. In this chapter, our Rogue makes her return. You get a somewhat simple explanation. I hope you all like it. Thank you to my reviewers: **_Green Peridot, Travelling Army Brat, _**and** _JC Roberts._

_**

* * *

**_

_**-Nothing Else Matters-**_

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

The world seemed to be spinning in an almost comical motion as I slowly opened my eyes and tried to come to my senses. My gaze fell on the sight of nothing but silver, confusing me for a moment until I sat up and realized that I was sitting on a small cot in a containment room in the lower levels. To say that I was surprised would be an understatement. I glanced down at myself; eyes furrowed in confusion as I took in my plain gray sweat outfit and socked feet. It wasn't exactly inmate material, but I was a bit confused as to the absence of gloves.

"Where tha hell am Ah?" I ran my tongue over my dry lips as I tried to fight off the oncoming headache. I felt strange all over, as though I'd just fallen through some bunny hole like in _Alice in Wonderland_. "Mah head's a'poundin'." I grimaced as I rubbed my temples with my fingers, trying to ease the pressure.

"Carol, I thought that we'd try some relaxing techniques today, if you don't mind. I brought along a cassette that I've been told does wonders with stress." I slowly looked up and found myself staring out a huge window into what appeared to be an observing room. There, holding a boom box in one hand and a book in the other, stood Hank McCoy, resident medical genius. A smile stretched his lips broadly, displaying rather large canines.

"Hank?" I muttered gruffly as I stumbled to my feet. It seemed to take every ounce of my strength to even get to that window, but the moment that I did, I placed my palms against it and rested my forehead against it. "Ah'm so tired, Hank. Ah'm so tired."

For a full minute or two, there was nothing but silence on the other end. So, while I stood there trying to maintain some center of balance and refrain from tossing my cookies, Hank seemed to look me over cautiously.

"Rogue? Rogue, is that you?" His voice sounded as though it was caked in confusion and disbelief. I managed to lift my gaze to his, but I could do no more than stare back at him. "My stars and garters..." The Beast lifted his furry blue hand and placed it against mine from the other side of the glass. It was a strange feeling, standing there and wondering what it would feel like to have his palm actually pressed up against mine. I wondered whether it would be warm, or if it would tickle my skin. "I can't believe it. How is this possible?"

The question that remained in my mind was simple: _How am Ah gonna get out o' here?_

"Ah don't know," I answered honestly as I took a step back and wrapped my arms over my chest. "Ah think Ah might've scared Carol away fah tha moment, Hank. Ah feel like mah old self fah the most part. Still a little strange though, yah know?" I took a deep breath as I turned away and rested the back of my head against the glass. I had no idea where to begin or how to explain what my literal out of body experience had been like. "Ah don't know what t' do."

"Well, I believe that getting you out of there is our first and most important priority," his voice carried a sense of authority through the room's auditory system. "I'll have to call in the others and-"

"Hank, Ah don't know how permanent this is. Right now she's too tired t' fight, but Ah might not be able tah block 'er fahever." It was hard to admit that the woman that had ruined my life could just as easily take over it again if I was unlucky enough. "She don't have tha right, but Ah don't know how t' make 'er stop, take th' control away from 'er."

"Then we need to get Elizabeth down here, Rogue. Please, you have to give us a chance to help you. I've performed a number of scans over the last few days. A few hours ago, the signature changed, but I feared that it was because you were sinking into a comatose condition. So, to say that this is an improvement would be making an extreme understatement" He paused for a minute and I could faintly hear him using a phone to call the Professor's old office. He was, no doubt, informing Ororo of the situation.

But I blocked it all out.

I could do nothing more than stare at the small room that I'd apparently been inhabiting, though I could honestly recall only long stretches of time. I specifically remembered Jubilee nearly letting _me_ out and Logan's eyes boring into mine. It was strange, knowing that I had seen everything through Carol's eyes, but that they had been mine at the same time. I couldn't wrap my mind around it, and it made me extremely nauseous. So, when the bile began to rise in my throat, I was already positioned on my knees with my face in the toilet.

As I heaved and emptied my stomach of all of its contents, I found myself sobbing and wishing that I could relieve myself of all pain and inner turmoil so easily. It would be so easy to just upchuck every mistake that I'd ever made. But, then again, I didn't exactly want to look my fuck-ups in the face inside of a toilet bowl. "This stinks," I gagged as I scooted away on my bottom, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my chin on my knees. At that moment, I honestly wondered if it was all worth the fight I'd put up against Carol, if it would even matter in the end.

Time seemed to pass slowly, wrapping me in its grasp for the longest time, before anything outside of my mind made itself known. A strange whooshing sound caused me to lift my chin and tense slightly. At first, I thought that my eyes were playing tricks on me. But when I saw the swishing tail, tears formed in my eyes. "Liebchen," Kurt Wagner, or as he was known in the Munich Circus, Nightcrawler, smiled down at me with pointed teeth. "It 'as been too long. Come let me take you out ov here." He offered me his hand, a hand that most would find repulsive, and a sort of calm presence that I needed right then. I allowed him to pull me to my feet and engulf me in a quick hug. My eyes closed of their own volition and reopened quickly.

"Welcome back, Rogue." I found myself face to face with Doctor McCoy, much to my surprise. It only took me a moment to realize that Kurt had teleported us out of the room and into the observation room. Shaken, I pulled out of Kurt's grasp and took a stumbled step away from the two, my green eyes widened in horror. "I can understand your hesitations, but I feel that it is necessary for me to examine you, as well as for Elizabeth to perform a mental scan. Can't you understand that?" He placed a gargantuan hand on my shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze, calming me greatly with his soothing voice.

"Ah'm just scared," I admitted softly, hating the feeling. I'd been through a lot in the past year or so, and most of it had scared the pants off of me. But that didn't mean that I'd come to like the feeling. I did, however, respect it. My thoughts scattered, regrouped, and muddled. "Kurt, Ah touched yah."

Both of the furry blue men stared at me with only slightly varying degrees of smugness. I clenched my fists at my sides reflexively, combating the sudden urge to cover my face with my hands and cry. I felt all out of whack, as if everything that I was feeling was directly related to something that I couldn't understand; something that I'd never truly accept. It bugged me that they, more so the doctor, seemed to know_ more_ about my situation than me.

"Rogue, while you've been..." he paused, his hands clasped in front of him as he fumbled for the right word, "absent, it came to our attention that Carol was able to control your absorption power." A smile stretched his lips broadly as he rushed forward suddenly, causing a squeak to escape my lips as he engulfed me in a huge hug. To say that I was shocked would be the understatement of the century, particularly considering that my bare face was pressed against his furry neck, much to my nose's disagreement.

"Ah don't understand," I mumbled as Hank held me at arm's length, allowing his warm blue eyes to travel over my form as though he were looking for the source of my problem. "Ah can touch 'cause of Carol? How's that possible, Hank?" Biting the inside of my lip, I considered his words carefully, trying to make sense of them. But my already jumbled mind insisted that it was all a mistake and that I was still trapped inside some dark corner in my mind, and that Carol was only teasing me with a taste of the life that I'd craved for so long. My knees started shaking under the strain of my weight, and I felt as though I were going to collapse any second.

Thankfully, Kurt ushered me to a chair and urged me to sit down. The moment that I did, I felt as if my bones had turned to jelly. I wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere and sob, but I knew that it wasn't an option.

"Actually, Rogue, it was discovered by accident a number of days ago when Carol started slipping into an unconscious state." Hank slid into a chair and rolled across the room so that he was sitting directly in front of me, his pressed and ironed pants creasing at the knee as he settled into the tiny thing. While I'm sure that he considered his smile to be warm and relaxing, it put me slightly on edge. "To make a rather difficult and long story short, Carol stripped out of her clothing and went into a rather...interesting state. She'd been out of sorts for a few hours, but I assumed that the enclosed space was getting to her. I'm going to hypothesize that the two psyches, that were no doubt physically separated, were starting to come together."

My jaw agape, I could only stare at the doctor as I tried to work through his words. "Are yah sayin' that Carol _stripped naked_ in front of ya'll?" I felt so nauseous that I couldn't bring myself to glance up at Kurt.

"Yes, I'm afraid that Carol decided to get back to her roots, as some would say. Logan happened to be on watch at the time, and his first instinct was to get inside and calm her down before she could injure herself. So, he called for Kurt." As if making sure I remembered that Nightcrawler was there, he motioned to the man that was standing behind Hank a few paces, looking as uncomfortable as I felt. "They got inside of the containment facility, and Carol lashed out. Neither were injured by your mutation. She'd exhibited them before, however. I'm afraid she got a hold of Betsy for a few seconds when the telepath attempted a full-scale intervention."

I attempted to speak, but found myself unable to. The fact that Logan and Kurt, and possibly others, had seen _my_ naked form irked me. It dug under my skin so savagely that I wanted to hug the nearest wastebasket and empty my stomach. I wanted to purge myself of everything that had Carol's name written across it, something that I knew was physically impossible. "Ya'll saw me naked?" I asked softly, clenching my hands in my lap and staring at them as if they were some sort of lifeline.

"Well, I suppose that Logan and Kurt did get an eyeful. But technically it was Carol-"

"So they saw meh, Hank. Not Carol. They saw meh!" My gaze locked onto his and I found myself shouting at him, trying to force my feelings into my words so that there would be no mistake. "Yah talk about it like we're two different people. We ain't, Hank. She's in mah head, that's it!"

Eyes narrowed and lips pursed, Hank gave me a scrutinizing glance before slowly nodding his head. I wasn't sure if he was agreeing with me or if he was simply trying to calm my nerves, but at the time I didn't care. All I wanted was a hot shower and a shoulder to cry on. "I imagine that things are really hard for you right now, Rogue. It's understandable, really it is! It's just that you've technically been gone from our presence for so long now." I arched a brow as if to ask '_How long?_' and he slowly licked his lips. "Carol has resided as the dominant personality for the last three weeks, Rogue. We were beginning to lose hope of you ever coming back. Carol had bad spells though, where she would spend hours crying and sobbing, so there was some part of me that knew that you were fighting." When he reached forward to grasp my hand, I jerked away and pulled my knees up to my chest.

"Three weeks?" I whispered, resting my forehead against my knees and tried to figure out exactly how so much time had passed. I could only remember small things, glimpses of darkness and a huge building filled with millions of doors. I could remember opening door after door and trying to find my way out, but feeling as though I would be lost in there forever. "Am Ah okay now, Hank?" The question wasn't one that I wanted to ask, but one that I felt forced to ask.

His eyes roamed over my face for a full minute before he actually answered me. "Rogue, I'm afraid there's no way to predict the future in this sort of matter. Elizabeth insists on a mental scan, though I am wary of her actual capabilities. This would be a subject best dealt with by a more experienced telepath, I admit. If Charles were still here..." he drifted off before shaking his head to clear it. "I've talked to Ororo about calling in another woman, a telepath that was more on the level of what Jean could perform. Even Elizabeth feels that Emma would be able to do a great more than she, but that is still a few days off."

"What do yah mean?" I asked softly, fear building in my throat at the thought of being shoved back into the containment room. Part of me wondered what would happen if Carol was able to take control again, and how much damage she could do. I may have been able to see exactly what she saw in the beginning, but the longer that she had control of my body, the more lost I felt. Until suddenly, I was trapped in some maze-like building. "Hank, Ah can't deal wit' th' cell."

Laughter bubbled from his chest as he leaned backward and then slowly shook his head. "Rogue, that containment cell is used for Carol, and you are very clearly _not_ Carol."

"But what if she gets control again?" I asked slowly, forcing each word out as clearly as I could possibly manage. "Ah never thought she could do that, but she did." Details were left out, pointedly, but Hank didn't question me about them as I struggled to continue. "Ah feel as though Ah'm lost still, Hank, like this is some sort'a dream."

He opened his mouth to reply, but his voice was drowned out by the sudden commotion that entered the observation room at once. Faces, both familiar and startling, entered my line of sight and people started all talking at once. I received so many hugs that I honestly couldn't remember who had hugged me and who had simply stood there staring. But, after a few minutes, things began to calm down and I found that Jubilee was sitting in the chair next to me somehow, her hand latched around my own.

The unfamiliar feeling of skin against skin entranced me, drawing my eyes to where our hands lay on the chair as if it were the most common thing in the world. My mouth suddenly felt dry and my hands felt clammy, as if I were suddenly nervous. I'd lost the ability to interact like this with someone just months after getting the cure, but it was suddenly as if I'd been re-gifted with the most wonderful thing I'd ever known.

"Of course, it will have to be tested. I imagine that it's Carol's invulnerability that is negating the effect. She did manage to use the leeching powers, if you'll recall." I was drawn back into the real world by the eloquent voice of none other than Ororo Munroe. So, I found myself watching as she tucked her hair behind her ear and glanced around at the others gathered in the room. It all seemed so dream-like that I wasn't even sure if I existed anymore, if I was a part of it or not. But then her bright blue eyes suddenly met mine and a smile crept over her features. "Rogue, I can't even begin to tell you how good it is to have you back. We've all been so worried."

It was hard for me to believe that this was the same woman that had threatened me with a virtual expulsion for my behavior what seemed like just yesterday. Maybe it was possible that it was all real and that I was back.

"Ah'm back," I whispered more to myself than for anyone else's benefit. It was so hard to accept, and yet at the same time I understood why. "Ah found this part of mah mind where mah memories were, and Ah dragged mahself through 'em." The room fell silent and I could feel eyes on me as I struggled to find the right words. I wanted desperately to assure them that I was there as much as I wanted to reassure myself that it wasn't just some sort of trick that my mind was playing on me. "Ah wanted t' figure out how she did it, so Ah started draggin' through 'em. It was like watchin' old movies, 'cept sometimes Ah was in 'em. Ah made both o' us remember where we were from and who we are."

"Did you go through her memories as well, Rogue?" The purple-haired woman, who I'd recently connected to the name Elizabeth, asked me with narrowed eyes. "I've heard of this sort of thing, but generally only two connected telepaths are able to do such things."

One shoulder lifted in a shrug as I slowly pulled my hand out of Jubilee's grasp and placed it in my lap. My feet slowly lowered to the floor as I licked my lips and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"No, Ah just reminded th' bitch who's boss. She forgot that it was meh that took 'er down t' begin with, so Ah gave 'er a friendly reminder."

Nothing was said as everyone took that opportunity to stare at me as if I were some sort of science fiction freak. Which in a way, I suppose that I was. But, when I looked around the room, I noticed only one person, one figure.

_Logan_.

* * *

**A/N:** I think Rogue's statement is my favorite part in this entire chapter. I'm sorry if it's confusing. Please, pet my ego and review! 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**_Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them._**

**_Nothing Else Matters_- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving _was_ her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**

* * *

**

_-Nothing Else Matters-_

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I was allowed to leave the lower levels on the condition that another member of the team had to be with me at all times. It was quickly decided that when Jubilee couldn't be with me, Peter would. And when Peter couldn't, Hank would, and so on. It was a bit unnerving to realize that even though they trusted me, there was a limit to that trust. It wasn't infinite, but it was enough to give me hope that I could actually do what they wanted me to do.

"Emma has already been contacted and has agreed to come to the Institute the day after tomorrow," Elizabeth had informed me with an appraising rise to her brows. "We had hoped, of course, that she would be able to allot time for the examination immediately, but it appears that she has a bit of business to attend to. So, until you're cleared by _both_ of us, you're out on probation."

Meaning, of course, that I would be monitored like some suicidal idiot locked up in a mental ward. It bothered me, of course, but I was willing to do nearly anything to get out of the lower levels and actually breathe in a bit of fresh air. My wish, thankfully, was granted soon after my release. Jubilee, her hand clutching mine, led me into the gardens and toward a very familiar fountain.

"So chica, how does it feel to be you again?" she asked me the moment that we were alone outside in the chilly morning wind. Her wild, though short locks, were brushed back a bit more tame than usual, but the wind still managed to lick a few and cause them to stick up in awkward angles. Her blue eyes were alight with life, and it was almost contagious, simply sitting there and looking at her.

But, I could only manage a shrug of my shoulders as I rubbed my hand over my face. "Good, Ah think."It felt too surreal to be sitting outside in the fresh air, with my best friend right beside me. "Like Ah'm dreamin', like that bitch is playin' games with meh and tryin' tah break mah spirit or some shit. This is real, ain't it, Jubes?" I found myself asking, despite the fact that I didn't want to appear weak.

A grin crept over her lips as she quickly nodded her head. "'Course it's real, Rogue. This is me an' you, sittin' outside on a cold morning, trying to pretend that absolutely nothing is wrong and that everything is absolutely perfect. Okay?" Her smile was infectious, and soon I felt one itching to spread across my lips.

"Yah right, Jubes. Ah gotta get with th' program, right? Just kind o' weird, Ah guess?" I wasn't even sure what I was supposed to do now that I was out of the box, what I was supposed to think now that I was back in control. "Ah do know that Ah'm starvin', but Ah'm afraid t' eat anythin'. That makes no sense though, does it?" My stomach was coiled in knots, and while I was close to starving, I was afraid even the slightest bit of food would cause me to vomit.

Jubilee, however, instantly decided that perhaps a bite to eat would be the best thing for me. She stood up quickly and dragged me to my feet and toward the Mansion. For once, she said very little as she pulled me through the Institute and into the empty kitchen. I could only sit down at the kitchen table and watch her putter around in the refrigerator before quickly slapping together two huge sandwiches that would put Peter to shame and adding a huge helping of potato salad. The girl knew me, that much was for certain.

"Here we go, doesn't this look delicious?" She grinned as she placed a plate, a fork, and a cup of milk in front of me before sitting down beside me with her own share of the mess. For a few moments, I could do nothing more than stare at the huge plate in front of me, but soon my hand seemed to reach forward of its own volition. The fork scooped up large mouthfuls of potato salad, and my stomach reacted wonderfully. "Looks like you're enjoying it," she commented as I finished off the potato salad before starting in the sandwich that she had prepared so thoughtfully for me.

As we sat there in silence, I couldn't help but wonder where on earth everyone else was at. While I was aware of the fact that I was technically in my best friend's care for the rest of the evening, I couldn't help but wonder if they were hiding from me. So, as I finished the last bit of the sandwich, taking notice of the fact that Jubilee barely touched her food, I decided to voice my concerns. "Jubes, where's everyone at?"

Blue eyes met mine and I could see the careful thought behind them as she considered the question. Her fingers flexed unconsciously, catching my gaze for a split second, before my eyes found their way to hers yet again. "Honestly, probably with Miss Munroe, discussing your future here, girl. After all, you did sort of go and pull a fast one on us."

"Yeah, Ah guess Ah did." It was hard to admit, even to Jubilee, that I knew withholding any information from the rest of them had been the cause of the horrible backlash. It wasn't fair to any of them that they'd had to deal with me, and it made my blood boil to think that I actually owed any of them anything. "Maybe Ah should just leave, Jubes. Ah tried goin' in th' first place, but ya'll wouldn't let meh go."

Her mouth fell open slightly, but after a few moments of simply staring at me, she nodded her head. "Rogue, I know that you think that leaving might be the best option, but you came back here for a reason. I think that you should stay and hope like hell that the Frost bitch can help you." It was rather obvious that she wasn't exactly a fan of Emma Frost. "Because, honestly, what in the hell are you going to do if you leave here? Do you have somewhere to go, someplace that you'll be safe?" Her eyes searched mine until I forced my gaze away. Jubilee only sighed before getting up to clean up the mess that we'd made. "Why don't you go hop in the shower and see how it makes you feel, Rogue? I'll clean up down here and meet up with you later.

I knew that she was trying to dump me, to get rid of me if only for a few minutes so that she could digest her own thoughts. But, it didn't make it any easier to accept as I slowly rose from my seat and made my way out of the room. I could barely hear her puttering about and cleaning up the mess that we had made as I crept down the hall and up the stairs. It felt strange walking past students that would barely meet my gaze, when just a year ago everyone had been glad to speak to me, to say anything to me. What got me though was knowing that I was no longer a direct danger to anyone, and yet everyone avoided me. Still, I managed to hold my head high as I walked into my room and quickly gathered clothes and the necessary items for a long warm shower.

Almost forty-five minutes later, I walked back into my room barefoot, damp hair wrapped in a large white towel and dirty clothes clutched under one arm. I quickly shoved the dirty items into a hamper and placed my shower bag back in its proper location before sitting down on my bed with my brush in hand. "It's really quiet," I muttered to myself, almost in awe, as I slowly began to run the brush through my short locks. Almost intrigued, I found my fingers brushing through the auburn and white locks almost as frequently as the brush did. I still wasn't used to the hairstyle, as I'd always had long hair even as a child.

I'm not sure how much time passed before I tossed the damp towel into the hamper and crossed my legs underneath me. I vaguely considered putting socks and a pair of gloves on, but I couldn't bring myself to rise from the bed and actually do something about the situation. I may not have been aware of _how_ or even _why_ I was able to control my powers, but if Jubilee's hand was any indication, I wasn't a complete threat to humanity any longer. Lost in my own thoughts, I jumped slightly when the door, which had previously been closed, swung open slowly.

"Jubes had an emergency wit' one of the younger kids," he explained quickly as his eyes met mine. Stunned, I could only sit there and stare at him as he slowly leaned against the open doorway and crossed his arms over his chest. I couldn't tell if I was more surprised by his presence or by the fact that he wasn't scowling at me. "Got roped into keepin' an eye on you," he muttered, drawing his gaze away from mine and staring pointedly at the floor.

Lips pursed, I slowly nodded in understanding as I folded my hands in my lap. "Oh," I murmured, unsure of what to say to the man that I knew couldn't stand me. The thought alone had my stomach knotted uncomfortably and I felt tears burning in my eyes. But, I quickly blinked them away as I did my best to smile at him. "Looks like yah drew the short straw, sugah."

He snorted before slowly shaking his head and meeting my gaze yet again. For a moment there was a flicker of the man that I had placed on a pedestal after saving my life twice, but it was gone in another instant. "'Ro an' the others are still talking 'bout what to do with you, y' know."

"Ah figured as much," I murmured as I slowly reached up and tucked a strand of slightly damp hair behind my ear. My hand shook slightly as I quickly placed it back in my lap and knotted my fingers together, hoping that he couldn't sense my nervousness. "Logan, Ah - Ah'm sorry."

The words seemed to surprise him just as much as they'd surprised me. I'd promised myself that I wouldn't let his presence get to me, that I would once again learn to live the life that I'd made for myself because he didn't want me. Yet, there I was, almost in tears, and staring up at the man that had told me to leave in the first place. Blurry memories from inside of my own mind made me recall the way that he had watched over me, well Carol. Part of me wanted to try to salvage the strange friendship that we had once had, but I couldn't even begin to imagine how to go about it.

"Fer what?" he asked gruffly, brows dipped in confusion.

"Fah actin' the way Ah did. Fah throwin' yah over the fence, fah one." A flicker of a smile played across my lips for a moment before I hurriedly cleared my throat. "And Ah didn't mean what Ah said that first night," I whispered, pulling my gaze away from his to stare pointedly at the floor. Part of me feared that he had meant every single word that he had said that night. It seemed like so long ago, but the events were still explicitly clear in my mind. "Logan, Ah'm sorry," I repeated, staring at him and waiting for him to say something, anything.

I didn't have to wait long, but I wasn't expecting him to let out a snort. "I know you didn't mean it. I ain't that big o' a fool, kid." The pet name caused me to cringe slightly, but I assumed that he didn't notice when he continued. "If I hadn't gave you a lift, where the hell would I be now? Still fightin', I imagine."

I couldn't help but notice that he didn't exactly _say_ that he'd regretted his words, too, which caused me to feel even more childish and guilty. For the first time in a very long time, I was scared and helpless. "Ah feel like some sort uh child 'round you sometimes, and Ah know that yah don't mean it. But, Ah hate this!" I threw up my hands in defeat and let out a huff of breath. "Yah have no idea what it was like fah meh out there. Ah was so damned scared and yah didn't come for meh. No one came fah meh."

His eyes darted away from mine for a moment, and I got the distinct impression that not only was he uncomfortable, but that he was looking for an escape route. "Kid, you made the choice t' get the damned cure. I didn't tell you to run off all half-cocked and pissed just because of a disagreement, now did I?" His voice was low, and leveled, and far more calm than I had expected.

"That tends tah happen when someone rips mah heart out of mah chest," I whispered, knowing that he could hear me perfectly well. Remaining quiet for a moment, I finally let out a sigh and shook my head. "The others are just as pissed at meh, ain't they?" Feeling foolish and out of my league under his unwavering scrutiny, I did my best to change the subject. "Ah think Ah'll give it a few days before Ah go."

His piercing gaze seemed to rip right through me, as if he were examining every fiber of my being within just a few moment's time. But, when he drew in a sharp, ragged breath, I found myself flinching in fear. "And just where in the hell do you plan to go? Dammit, don't you think you've got enough shit on your plate without runnin'?"

"From the man that runs more than a vacuum," I huffed, blown away that he would dare be such a hypocrite. "Ah don't belong here no more, at least not right now. Ah need uh bit of space or somethin'. Time tah get over this hurdle and move on with mah life. Yah can understand that, can't yah?" I glanced up at him but didn't give him a chance to respond before continuing. "Carol's under control, fah now, and Ah don't want to waste the opportunity."

"So you'd rather be out of reach when and if she makes a reappearance? What kind of crock are you tryin' to feed me?" His voice was haughty and I could see a flare of anger in his darkened orbs. "You can fool yourself all that you want, _Rogue_, but I know that you're scared. You think that getting away from the problem is goin' to make it go away, but it won't. These people, 'Ro and the others, they just wanna help you, kid. You're lost and scared, I get that. Don't run away from it fer your own damned pride. That's just stupidity rearing its ugly head."

"So now yah callin' meh stupid, Logan? As much as Ah appreciate the sentiment, Ah'm fine." Gritting my teeth in anger, I found myself clenching my hands in my lap. I couldn't even begin to explain how torn I felt about leaving the Mansion and sticking around. "Ah obviously don't belong. Yah and Ah both know that. It don't matter that Ah do got control. All's they see is some dangerous mutant. All Ah get's pity or hatred. Ah'm tired of it."

For a full minute, we merely stared at one another, neither willing to break contact in order to gather the courage necessary to say what still hadn't been said. But, feeling as though I was about to start sobbing any moment, I managed to pull my eyes away from his in order to stare at my lap. In two days, Emma Frost would return to the Institute in order to give me a mental scan. Of course, Elizabeth had to clear me as well before they would even consider letting me out of their sights. That is, of course, unless I decided to skip out and hope like hell that none of them would figure it out quickly enough to actually attempt to chase me down. _Not that Ah'd have t' worry 'bout Logan comin' after meh_, I conceded, mentally.

"I don't recall ever pitying you, kid." Whipped out of my thoughtful gaze, I found myself staring up at him in shock. I'd expected him to honestly leave the room the moment that my sights were elsewhere, as it would have given him the perfect opportunity to slip out of the room unnoticed. But, to my surprise, he'd moved a bit further into the room, which was an accomplishment considering its small size. "Don't recall ever fuckin' hatin' you either. Don't go assumin' that everyone's out to get you. You do that... And you're no better off than the people you think hate ya."

Having never considered it like that, I found myself biting my lip in quiet thought. "Ah've spent so long feelin' people stare at me that Ah forget that they ain't always glarin' at meh. Is that what yah saying?" Logan merely inclined his head in my direction, as if to signify that it was what he was saying if I wanted it to be. For some reason, I wanted it to be what he was saying. So, I slowly nodded my head in agreement as I drew in a shaky breath. "It's just that mah whole life's been crazy, Logan. Ah wanna be able tah look back and know that Ah ain't made more mistakes than anybody else. Is that too much tah ask?"

"No, but everyone has something in their past that keeps them up at night. Ya have to understand that before you can ever look at another person and judge them, kid." There it was again, that _damned_ nickname that he'd probably never drop when it came to me. In a way, it felt warm and familiar, but at the same time I wanted to scream that I wasn't a kid anymore. But, I knew that it would do me no good, particularly considering that he had a few years on me. "The trick is realizin' that no matter how strangely people look at you, you're the only one that gets to see your face in the mirror every mornin'. All's you gotta do is be able to live with that person that greets you every morning. If you can do that, you're all set."

"Here Ah thought yah were goin' tah bottle up and refuse t' talk to me," I muttered, surprised by the sincerity in his voice. "Yah know, sugah, it's been a long time since yah actually tried to be mah friend. Ah've missed it." While it was hard for me to admit, I half-wondered if he was being nice because Ororo or one of the others had demanded it of him. But, then again, Logan wasn't known for taking orders _from anyone_ well at all. "Ah'm still goin', Logan. Ah'm still gonna leave once Ah'm cleared. If only fah a bit."

His bushy brows dipped immediately as his nostrils flared. I could tell that he was uneasy with the notion, and was probably fighting the urge to simply yell at me. Remarkably, his voice was rather calm and level when he spoke again. "Where ya gonna go?" he asked, though somewhat quietly.

"Anchorage," I replied immediately, even as I slowly nodded my head. "It was where Ah was headin' when Ah stopped off in Laughlin City. Didn't exactly make it up there, Ah guess yah could say." Briefly, I thought back to the first time that I had seen Logan and felt my face flush at the thought of him bare-chested in that cage. Granted, I hadn't known him then, nor had I thought that I would become friends with him. But, it was merely a primal, purely sexual thing. In fact, I was half-tempted to ask if that was the reason why he hadn't wanted to give me a ride in the first place; because he could smell the need on me. Instead, I pouted my lips and drew in a deep breath. "Ah'm tired of bein' compared to Bobby and Kitty, hell even Jubes. Ah'm nothin' like them, Logan, Ah know that. Ah- Ah gotta lot Ah need tah work through."

"You can't work through it here?" he asked, almost timidly. I'd expected him to blow up, to tell me that I didn't need to go anywhere.

"Ah- Ah need some space. Ah don't think Ah was ready tah come back, Logan." It was still hard to think about all of the time I'd spent alone in the city, even if the beginning had been as fairy tale-esque as I'd always imagined. Still, my knight in shining armor had never arrived, and had instead remained at the same place, waiting for me. "Yah know, Ah nevah knew yah were the type tah stick 'round. When Ah saw yah, Ah thought Ah was dreamin' or somethin'. Why'd yah stick around?"

Lips pursed and arms crossed over his chest like some sort of vise, Logan's eyes seemed to search my face for a long moment before he even bothered to reply. "You ain't gettin' out of this place Scott free, ya know. You ain't in no damned shape t' drive yerself, and I don't give a flying damn if they did clear y' for close contact. Yer in no shape for a trip on some damned plane." Suddenly righting himself, Logan towered over me for a moment before stepping toward the open doorway, apparently attempting to leave. "I'll give ya a lift. Someone'll have to keep an eye on ya and it might as well be me."

"What?" Confusion filled me as I clumsily flew off of the bed, hovering over the floor high enough so that I could untangle my limbs even as I rushed after him. "Logan?" Stopping at the open doorway, I watched him as he stalked down the hall, brushing elbows with Jubilee on the way toward my room. He stopped only briefly and offered me only a glance over his shoulder before disappearing out of sight.

"What was that about, chica?" Jubilee asked as she gently led me back into my room and shut the door behind her. Numbly, I managed to sit back down on the bed, doing my best to ignore the lingering scent of Logan that he'd left behind. Jubilee, for once, was quiet as she sat down on the bed next to me and merely waited for me to find my voice. Unfortunately, five minutes or so later she realized that I wasn't up to talking and broke the silence. "What'd Logan have to say?"

Biting my lip in thought, I slowly shook my head. He'd said that he was going with me when I left, but he wouldn't say why he'd stuck around. It boggled my mind, dug under my skin, and made me generally nervous. But, it was Logan. He was as temperamental as I and I assumed that he was merely going off on some unseen tangent.

"Nothing," I muttered. "Nothing at all."

* * *

**A/N:** Again, I'm sorry for the huge gap between this update and the last. I sincerely hope that I can get the next one out faster. Please, feel free to review with thoughts or comments!


	16. Chapter Sixteen

_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

_**Nothing Else Matters**_**- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving **_**was**_** her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N:**** This update took a bit longer than I'd hoped, mainly because my beta's been busy and doesn't get stuff back to me as quickly as I would wish. Thankfully, it didn't take nearly as long as last time. I love this chapter, personally, and I hope that you all will, too. Thank you to my reviewers: **_Thillia, PyroWhore, Glykera, saz89, perfect star, Dita, JC Roberts, Wanda W, DeeJayJenni, ToraNoKo123, noro, _**and**_ dancingt21. _**A special thanks to everyone that has added this story to their alert and/or favorite list.**

* * *

_**-Nothing Else Matters-**_

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

"What do you say to your best friend in an instance like this?" Jubilee murmured as I stared at her with eyes widened in surprise and horror. Clutching a bright blue sheet that was wrapped around the length of her body, she was the epitome of innocence meets sensuality. In fact, I was so stunned by the sight that I found my jaw hanging open slightly as I struggled to find the strength to simply turn and bolt. "Rogue, look, this isn't exactly something that we'd like the whole, like, place to know, you know?"

Through the crack in the door behind Jubilee, I could see the shadowed form of one Piotr Rasputin hurriedly moving around her bedroom, presumably dressing. "Jubes, Ah don't know what t' say. Ah'm sorry fah barging in. Ah had no idea." Swallowing the lump in my throat, I glanced down the hall in each direction before meeting her gaze again. "When yah didn't answer mah knock, Ah figured yah were just sleepin' still."

"The locked door should have been a pretty good indication that I was busy though, right?" she asked cheekily, her cheeks heating as the door behind her opened fully and Peter stood there, clothed in unbuttoned jeans and a black shirt. "It's okay, chica."

Peter, on the other hand, looked completely at a loss as he met my gaze, his blue eyes searching my face for a moment even as a dark flush crept up his neck. "Er, if you will excuse me, I should shower and prepare for my day." He looked between us for a long moment before dipping his head and kissing Jubilee thoroughly and lovingly before slipping past me down the hall quickly, his bare feet barely making a sound.

Still feeling a bit off balance, I crossed my arms over my chest and tucked my glove-covered hands under my armpits. "Ah'll go, Jubes. It ain't no big deal, really." Looking for any sort of an escape, I glanced back at the direction from whence I had come. It would be easy to simply fly back to my room and hide in the corner until the rest of the household was up and moving. Unfortunately, I knew that the mental image of what I'd just saw would be a great deal more difficult to get rid of.

"No, it's cool." Jubilee quickly pushed open her door and ushered me inside, her delicate fingers clutching at the sheet desperately. Uneasily, I slipped past her and stood just inside of the room, deliberately keeping my eyes as far away from the large bed and stared, instead, at the far window. Sunlight was already streaming in, dim though it may be. I heard the sound of the door clicking shut before Jubilee came into view. "So, what did you want? I mean, it's like sort of early, don't you think?" she lifted a dark brow in my direction.

Fighting the urge to lift a hand and twirl my virtually nonexistent hair around my finger, I slowly exhaled. "Ah had a bad nightmare and wanted t' talk to yah about it, but Ah don't remember much of it now," I admitted softly. When I'd swept out of my room in a flurry, barely remembering to stop and grab gloves just in case, I'd been trembling. But after opening Jubilee's door to find her and Peter in a rather awkward position, the nightmare seemed to have

been completely erased from my mind. "Ah'm sorry, Jubes. Ah better go so that yah can get ready."

"Hey, it's okay, Rogue." She stepped forward to engulf me in a hug but merely grinned as she suddenly remembered what she was garbed in. Shrugging her shoulders, she ran a hand through her disheveled hair. "I didn't see you much last night after I had to help Elaine out." Apparently the girl had needed a talk through her menstrual cycle and Logan had roped Jubilee into doing it. "You never did say what Logan had to say," she winked.

Eyes darting to the side slightly, I lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "Not much, yah know. Just stuff, Ah guess." It felt strange lying to my best friend, but until after I'd been cleared by Emma and given the go ahead, I didn't think it was best to tell her that I was leaving again. So, instead I merely offered her another smile before turning on my heel and heading toward her closed door. "Listen, it ain't none of mah business, but ya'll are lucky, Jubes. Pete's a right nice guy and ya'll really seem to love each other."

Not even glancing back to see her reaction, I quickly shut the door back behind me before heading down the hall back toward my room. I could already hear the faint sounds of the house waking up, and it almost made me cringe. A bit hurriedly, I got to my room and gathered clothes for a shower. After showering and getting ready for the day, I literally flew back to my room to grab a pair of boots before flying down the stairs.

"Ya sure dat it's wise t' just fly 'round like dat, chere?" A lone figure stood at the base of the stairs, arms crossed over their chest as they leaned against the wall. Clothed in tight-fitting jeans and a tight-fitting black t-shirt, he caused me to drop to the floor beside him in surprise. Dark hair curled over his collar and ears and dark shades covered his eyes. But I got the distinct feeling that his gaze was running over me. "Remy ain't seen de chere since dey put 'er downstairs."

Slightly stunned, I merely cocked my head to the side as I tucked my blue silk glove clad hands in the front pockets of my black jeans. "Ah don't imagine that it is," I replied curtly, offering him only the slightest hint of a smile. I hadn't wondered where Remy was when the others had been down in the subbasement, welcoming me back. But, when I thought back on it, he and Emma had been the only two absent. Emma, it seemed, was away on business. Remy on the other hand? "Reckon it has been awhile. Right before Carol took over, Ah'd say," I replied calmly.

Dark brows lifted slightly over his shades and I got the impression that he was a bit startled by the obvious ease in which I mentioned the episode of sorts. "Hard t' believe dat such a belle

femme like you got ties wit' such a belle as Carol. She not seem like de type dat de Rogue 'ave as a friend."

"Yeah, well she sure didn't seem like the type tah screw yah over, right?" I waited to gauge his reaction, but there didn't seem to be one. Shrugging my shoulders slightly, I let out a short sigh. "Yah really don't remember meh, do yah?"

The shades were off in an instant and I found myself staring into the Devil's eyes. Breath lodged in my chest, I found myself fighting the urge to shudder as his eyes roamed over my face for a long moment before traveling the length of my body and back again. "Don't t'ink dat Remy'd forget such a belle, chere. Must be mistaken," he answered, his accent a bit more clipped than usual.

"Ah don't suppose that yah remember a place called _The Club_," I murmured, as if the name were hard to remember. The only indication he gave of having recognized the name was a slight tightening of his jaw, but he remained silent. "No, yah never really noticed meh, Ah'd guess. After all, yah had Carol on yah arm, right, sugah? Then again, Ah was Vanzetti's girl."

It was completely silent for a full minute until I heard a noise from the top of the stairs. Glancing up in surprise, I found myself meeting the deep gaze of none other than Logan. He descended the stairs slowly, his belt buckle catching a ray of light and shining brightly as he made his way toward us. "Mornin'," he muttered gruffly, eyes traveling from mine to Remy's. The two men stood staring at one another, Logan standing atop the last step and Remy looking up slightly to meet his gaze.

"Mornin', sugah," I replied, drawling a bit more than usual. "Ah was just reminiscing with Remy here. Pity that he don't remember meh." Softly, I made a sound that resembled one of sadness and disgust combined. "Then again, Ah don't suppose he was worried 'bout more than how much money he was rakin' in or how he was gettin' into Carol's pants."

Logan's brows lifted a great deal as he reached out to grab my forearm. His fingers completely encompassed my small arm, and I found myself staring at the sight for a long moment before I met his gaze again. "'Ro said somethin' 'bout wanting to see you this morning before her class, kid. What do you say we leave ol' Gumbo here to his thoughts while you an' me take a walk to the Headmistress's office, eh?"

"Den Remy bid de belle adieu." Sweeping out into a quick bow before pulling his shades up his nose a bit, Remy played the part of a perfect gentleman. That is until he offered me a sly wink and a smirk, one that belied his calm exterior. Then, without another word, he turned and stalked

up the stairs with the grace of a cat.

Stunned, I could only stare after him for a long moment, desperately trying to push away the intimate images that flooded my mind regarding exactly how cat-like the man could be. But it was not until Logan cleared his throat rather loudly that I was able to pull my gaze away from the backside of the man that part of me knew more intimately than I ever cared to. "Sorry," I muttered in apology as I quickly pulled my arm out of his grasp and crossed my arms over my chest. "Storm wants tah see meh?"

Shrugging his shoulders indifferently, Logan slowly nodded his head. "Yeah, said somethin' 'bout your spending expenses goin' a bit overboard awhile back." Then, as if time had turned back, that mischievous bad boy smirk found its way to his lips in an instant. My heart seemed to stop beating for that moment as we simply locked gazes and stared at one another as if we hadn't another care in the world. Until that exact moment, I'd honestly believed that all of the childish feelings that I'd held in the bottom of my heart for the man that had saved me from death had shattered the moment that he'd turned me away. But, as his eyes searched my face, I came to realize that any chance of my feelings for him having changed were slim to none. Unless, of course, one considered such feelings intensifying as a positive change. "I, uh, I better get downstairs. Got a schedule to keep, y' know."

As he brushed past me, I felt my body heat up at his mere touch. The functioning part of my mind knew that he could probably smell the change in my body, but the uncaring part of me fought the urge to let out a muffled sigh as he quickly disappeared from sight. Dazed, I stood there for a moment or two longer until I realized that students were already waking and heading downstairs. Wiping a strange grin off of my face, I tucked my gloved hands into the pockets of my jeans and briskly walked to Ororo's office.

The door stood open but she appeared to be busy on the phone as I stepped inside the room. Her gaze met mine and with a mere inclination of her head, she motioned for me to have a seat.

Feeling rather nervous quite suddenly, I stumbled forward and took a seat in the fine chair and placed my gloved hands delicately in my lap. Doing my best to ignore her conversation, I stared timidly at the soft black satin gloves that covered my hands. _Ah hate these damned things_, I

thought to myself with a frown. _Ah'm safe now though, right?_ Tempting fate seemed to be a habit that I could not seem to break, which is exactly why I wasted no time in pulling the gloves off and tucking them into my pocket as quickly as possible.

"Well, I was beginning to wonder if perhaps you were not as prepared for this change as we had anticipated, Rogue." My gaze jerked upward to find Ororo staring intently at me from behind the grand desk that had once served as Charles Xavier's. She did little to fill out the desk, and even her dominating personality was not enough to make up for the size. I felt a sharp pang as I thought about the Professor, who had been one of the few daring enough to promise me that someday I would learn control. _Wonder what he'd do if he could see meh now?_ "Now, I'm sure that you're curious as to why I've requested your presence, are you not?"

Whipped out of my daze, I slowly nodded my head. "Ah reckon it might have somethin' to do with the fact that Ah mighta went a little overboard when it came to the shopping." Lips pursed in thought, I met the woman's gaze evenly. Her bright blue eyes, so full of intelligence and care, stunned me slightly. When I'd first arrived, she'd looked at me as though I were some sort of invalid with a hand out, waiting for my next meal. "Ah have some money, but Ah'd need yah help tah get to it," I finally found my voice again.

Mouth slightly agape, she waited a full minute before replying. "Yes, Rogue, I'd hoped to speak with you in regards to your abundant spending and a way that you could possibly make up for it. But I'm a bit puzzled. Did you not say when you first arrived that you'd been, well, on the streets?" She grimaced toward the end, and I sensed that she felt uneasy simply stating that I'd spent months living on the streets.

_Thank Gawd she don't know what Ah did and would do to survive_.

"Well, like Ah said, Ah can't get to it, Storm." Her name rolled off of my southern tongue a bit uncomfortably, and I figured that the safest route would simply be to call her by the shorter name. Perhaps it was simply me looking for a way to find a loop in showing her the respect that she demanded from everyone else, but I felt as though I couldn't truly help it. "They got mah assets frozen," I attempted to explain the situation.

"Why in the Goddess' name would they freeze your assets, child?" Completely befuddled, she seemed astounded at such a notion. "What has happened?"

"Ah got mixed up with the wrong crowd," I attempted to ease her into the truth, not knowing how to do it correctly. Deep down I knew that it wasn't so much the crowd that I'd gotten myself mixed up with, but the fact that I'd enjoyed every single second of it. But as I spied a glance in her direction, I knew that it was exactly the sort of thing that I would never reveal to her. It never

hurt to bend the truth just a tad. "Got mixed up with this guy that Ah didn't realize was into th' wrong sorta things." Victor Vanzetti was still head of the New York Thieves Guild, which was exactly the reason that I couldn't get any of my money. "When Ah tried tah get away, he pulled a few strings and got all mah assets frozen. Hell, they won't even let meh into mah storage."

Pausing, I met her gaze evenly and prayed that she would not see through the roundabout lie. The truth of the matter was that after I'd gotten my power back, I'd tried to leave and nobody had liked it. Feeling desperate, I'd taken down a few of Victor's guards before finally making my way out of _The Club_. For awhile, it had seemed as though things were finally working out. But then things had gone even more downhill than I'd ever thought possible.

"Rogue, I'm sorry to hear that," Ororo murmured carefully, her brows dipped as she continued to examine my face. The woman was a goddess, but even a goddess knew the heartache of such a man, didn't she? "If you have the account number and the PIN number, I will pass it along to Katherine and see what she is able to turn up." My eyes widened instantly, and I found myself unable to hide my surprise. Chuckling, Ororo rushed to explain, "Katherine is easily the most skilled person that we have when it comes to computers. Have no fear, she is exactly what you need."

Biting the inside of my cheek, I slowly nodded in agreement before taking the notepad and pen that she offered me. Closing my eyes for a brief moment, I quickly wrote down the memorized account number along with the PIN. Feeling a bit more relieved, I passed it back to her, watching as she quickly pulled the sheet of paper off and folded it in half before sliding it into her pocket. "Ah'll pay yah back, Storm. Ah promise."

"Yes, well, until Emma arrives in the morning to do the exam along with Elizabeth, would you care to give me a hand?" Her ever-perfect appearance remained unwrinkled as she pushed back from the desk and stood to her full height, her hair catching in the light angelically. "I know that it's not exactly orthodox, but I'm afraid that I'm left with few choices."

Feeling a bit out of place, I slowly nodded my head. "Ah can do that," I whispered, still suspicious of her kind behavior. It was hard to be on edge and watch everyone like a hawk when they suddenly did a complete one-eighty and were as nice as sin to me. "What is it exactly that yah'd like meh to do?"

Clearing her throat gently, Ororo placed her hands on her hips and quickly replied, "I'd like you to give Jubilation a hand with the younger children today, if you do not terribly mind." She paused as if to gauge my reaction, which was to gape at her like some idiot and nearly topple forwards out of the chair. "I understand that it's virtually out of nowhere, but with the recent increase in preschool aged children, I'm afraid that we are a bit shorthanded. Granted, I have been seeking an additional teacher for that certain area. But I'm afraid that Allison will not be able to come until tomorrow, with Emma."

Unable to do more than stare at her incredulously, I did my best to picture any possible interaction between the small children that I'd seen following Jubilee around with large puppy dog eyes and myself. For the most part, it seemed as though my former roommate worked

primarily with the younger children, those that were not particularly school-aged. But the fact that children of all ages flocked to her said a great deal about her personality. "Yah want meh tah help with the little ones? Are yah crazy, Storm?"

Lips pursed, she quickly shook her head. "I understand your hesitance toward them, but trust me, it is an easy job. Please, just give Jubilation a hand for a few hours today. For the most part, she only needs the help before lunch. After that point in time, most of the students are content enough to abide by the School rules."

Moving toward the still open door, she motioned for me to follow her. Feeling as though I had no actual choice in the matter, I quickly rose from my seat and followed after her, my fists clenched in nervous anticipation. She chattered away about how many students there were, what Jubilee usually did with them, and their obvious mutations. It seemed that the majority had physical mutations that were noticeable, and was probably the reason many of their parents had abandoned them in the first place. Much to my surprise, a great number of the children were there on actual tuition, as their parents had thought it safest for their children to seek an education in the walls of Xavier's rather than in the hostile outside world.

"But Ah thought that most mutations don't really surface til puberty?" Utterly amazed, I stopped and merely stood in the doorway of the kindergarten classroom, baffled beyond amazement.

Brightly decorated with nearly every color in the rainbow, the room had a warm and comfortable atmosphere. In the far corner, there were two steps that led into a pit of sorts; one that I imagined was used for reading. There was a large and quilt-covered rocking chair placed in the middle of said pit, along with a number of small toys, so I could only assume that I was correct. There were three rows of small squat desks with small squat chairs, and one large teacher's desk facing the rest of them with a number of hand drawn sketches taped to the front of it. Cabinets lined the walls and there appeared to be a dozen or so stored crates with toys, art supplies, and textbooks.

"Hank believes that as time goes by, more and more mutants will be affected at birth by their X-Gene," she quickly replied as a small boy and girl raced by, a long ribbon flying out behind them. Chuckling, her blue eyes met mine even as more and more students poured into the classroom. "It is mainly due to outside help that we've been able to run the School in the last year anyways, Rogue. I'm currently poring through applications and resumes and working on building up a proper staff. As you can imagine, Robert, Katherine, Piotr, and even Jubilee are not able to take on full-time positions due to the fact that they are all currently in school, working toward getting their degree. Granted, they are all far ahead of what is expected of them at this point in time, and their professors have hope of them all graduating a year ahead of the scheduled time." She paused and gauged my reaction, which was a mixed combination of surprise and sorrow. But, after a moment, she spoke again. "Thankfully, along with Alison and Emma and Kurt, we will be fine in a few weeks time."

"That's good, Ah guess," I muttered as I watched Jubilee approach me from across the room. My cheeks heated at the sight of her damp hair and fresh clothes, and I was rather relieved that she'd made sure to take a shower before venturing downstairs. Still, it was a bit awkward for a moment

before Storm cleared her throat. "Oh, Storm wants meh tah help yah out today, Jubes. That a'right?"

"Of course!" Jubilee declared as she tossed her hands up in the air. Unfortunately, bright lights danced from her fingertips for a split moment, causing a number of the students to glance over and giggle. But Jubilee managed to walk it off with a grin as she lowered her hands and crossed them over her bright long-sleeved yellow shirt. Her outfit, as always, was something that only _she_ could pull off. Her slacks were a deep brown and her shoes were bright yellow boots that went perfectly with her blouse and lightning bolt yellow earrings. "I could really use a hand today, actually. It's show and tell."

At the mention of the beloved pastime, cheers went up across the entire room. Fifteen pairs of eyes stared back at me as I crossed my arms over my chest. I was immediately glad that I'd decided to wear gloves despite my newfound control when the entire group of children rushed us

at once, many tugging on my hands. "I'm Susie!" one announced even as a little boy tugged on my hand. "I'm Joshua, but call me Josh!"

Laughing, I merely stared down at the lot of them in amazement, barely noticing when Ororo slipped quietly out of the room and shut the door behind her. Soon, I'd been introduced to every single little individual in the room, many of whom took the opportunity to hug me or offer me a chance to share their desk with them. While Jubilee attempted to usher the entire group of them to their desks, I took the opportunity to take a short inventory on the students that would be partly my responsibility for the day.

Most of the students, as one could imagine, had very physical mutations. One girl, Stefanie, had long purple hair and actual wings coming out of her back. She looked very much the part of a fairy, and just later that afternoon I would learn from Jubilee that Stefanie's appearance began to change when she was only three years old. Another little girl, Tammy, made me smile every time she glanced over at me and her bright brown eyes met mine. She had short brown hair that ran down her back like an actual mane. Tammy was a mutant with the physical characteristics of a mythical dragon. Her skin was covered in tiny hardened scales that were green in color. Her nails grew into talons and retracted safely back under her nail beds. But perhaps the most disturbing thing of all was the fact that she had a split tongue and actually breathed fire when she coughed. She was but five years old, and I found myself fearing for her future.

The majority of the other students, fortunately, were not plagued by such obvious physical mutations. Many of them were simply normal looking little boys and girls that were sent to the School either for their safety or because their parents had learned that they carried the X-Gene. It seemed that many parents, since the reintroduction of the MRA to Congress, had decided that preemptive testing of their children to rule out the gene had become almost mandatory. Many parents were already doing it during pregnancy. It was an abomination.

"Ah reckon ya'll might wanna scoot on over tah the tables fah lunch?" I announced at close to noon. I'd been surprised when Peter and Bobby had entered the classroom at just after eleven thirty; Bobby carrying a huge case full of sack lunches and Peter carrying a large fold up table.

They'd quickly set it up in the middle of the room before disappearing. The children rushed over to their lunch table even as Jubilee and I struggled to set up the two benches that were kept near the many bookcases at the table. Soon, everyone was seated except for Jubilee and myself, as we were too busy passing out sack lunches.

The kitchen staff had a long and detailed list of every student's allergies, likes, dislikes, and nutrient requirements. I'm not sure why it surprised me when I opened up my own sack lunch to

find that someone had made me a peanut butter and banana sandwich on rye, but I still was. _Ah'm surprised this is going so well_, I could not help but think to myself as the rowdy students did their best to keep quiet even as they munched on their own lunch. At some point, I'd found myself seated next to my favorite student; he and I both knew that he was. Little Dewey nuzzled up against my arm and barely let me touch my food, but I didn't mind.

After lunch had been cleaned up, Jubilee led the students over to the pit and settled down in the rocking chair. All of the students pulled out a small mat that I learned was used for naptime, and settled in the pit close together, their gazes focused on Jubilee. I, meanwhile, quickly put the table back in the lounge down the hall and put the benches up before settling in a rocking chair that sat along the far wall facing the door.

"I do not like them, Sam I Am. I do not like green eggs and ham," Jubilee whispered in a whimsical voice as she rocked back and forth slowly, the room completely silent save for the sound of the chair and the soft breathing of the children scattered on the floor.

She was nearly halfway through when a small and whimpering figure crawled out of the pit and toward me. It only took me a moment to recognize the soft and furry face of my favorite little Dewey. His long and brown tail danced behind him as he crawled into my lap, nuzzling his soft face against my neck. He continued to whimper softly even as I stroked my gloved fingers over his ears and rubbed my hand along his back. Dewey was a small boy of six, a mutant with the obvious physical characteristics of a small monkey. In a way, he reminded me of Hank, except for the fact that little Dewey was a soft brown color.

Not a word was said as he made himself comfortable in my lap, his face resting upon my shoulder. For a moment I had been worried, but nothing had happened and I merely assumed that the fur upon his skin would give us an added security. Time seemed to slip away from me as I listened to Jubilee softly read the story to the gathered children, her voice melodic and soothing, until nearly forty-five minutes later, which seemed like a long time to take reading a short little book, she finished and her eyes met mine from across the room. I smiled at her and she smiled back.

Then, she slowly reached over to a small table just beside her chair and picked up a dry-erase board and scribbled something down on it before she held it up for me to see. _**Snack time after **__**naptime**__**!**_ I merely nodded my head and fought the urge to let out a small laugh at the way she slowly put the board down and literally crept around the children. They were spread out all over the pit, and it seemed to be a bit of a struggle for her to find her way out. But once she did, she was standing near the door. She glanced back over her shoulder and held up one finger, signaling that she would return in a minute. Then she was gone.

_Ah'm amazed by all this_, I admitted only to myself. _Ah'm amazed that seein' all these little tykes pulls on mah heartstrings_. I'd never thought of myself as the motherly type, unless you considered me playing house when I was just four or five. After my mutation had made itself known, anything resembling a normal life had never crept into my mind. _It ain't fair that these little 'uns are so hated._ It made me realize that even if I did go away for awhile to get my life back together, I wanted to be part of the group that gave people another shot, kids a life outside of hate and prejudice.

What felt like minutes later, the door of the classroom opened quietly and I glanced up. Jubilee entered the room slowly, a small crate in her hands, only to be followed by Logan, who was also carrying a small crate. I quickly realized that he was carrying small school milks and she was carrying the snacks.

But, as our eyes met, the rest of the world seemed to just slip away. He stopped there, in the doorway, and merely gripped the crate tightly. The small bundle in my arms seemed to move for a moment and I looked down to realize that he had wrapped his tail around the arm of the chair. I couldn't help but smile as I rubbed my gloved hand over his head and felt him purr in content. As I looked back up, I realized that Logan had placed the crate on the floor and was backing out of the room slowly.

I opened my mouth and whispered, ever so slightly, "You okay, sugah?" I wasn't sure if he could hear me, but his face contorted in the most awful sort of way before he nodded his head and turned on his heel and jogged out of sight.

Stunned, I could only sit there, rocking back and forth, as the children around me slowly began to wake up. My mind insisted that what I saw in Logan's gaze had merely been surprise, but my heart kept telling me otherwise.

_He was scared_.

But, for the life of me, I couldn't understand why.

* * *

**A/N:** Hah! Yes, the beginning did insinuate a physical relationship between Jubes and Pete. You know you all love the cute couple! Next chapter the White Queen pays a visit and Rogue starts a'packin! Be sure to leave me a few thoughts and I'll try to get the next one out ASAP!


	17. Chapter Seventeen

_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

_**Nothing Else Matters**_**- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving **_**was**_** her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N:**** First of all, I'd like to say sorry for the long gap between updates. I have a new beta for this story, but I've never heard back from them... So I beta'd it myself? Gah, that means it sucks. Anyways, I've had this chapter ready since the last one was out, but I was hoping that it would get beta'd properly. If there are mistakes, I apologize. If it's centered, I'm sorry. FFN hates me. Thank you to my reviewers: **_Dita, Thilia, PyroWhore, saz89, dulcesweet, Wanda W, wannabewriter101, CaptMackenzie, mamoru21, iloveme5895, Monster345, Nikki-4, _**and**_ Yorkshire Lass_. **Every review urges me to post more, positive or not!**

* * *

**_-Nothing Else Matters-_**

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

"Have you, at any point since your incarceration, felt the urge to physically harm or maim any one of your house mates and slash or teammates?"

The question fell from the lips of the poised and immaculate Emma Frost, code named White Queen. She sat delicately in a large black leather chair with white leather clad legs crossed perfectly and ash blonde hair cascading over her shoulders in a gentle wave. She was the picture of perfection, and intimidated the hell out of me.

Slowly, I swallowed the lump in my throat and fiddled with the gloves that rested on my lap. "No, Ah ain't had the urge to harm someone since Ah got outta there," I explained, searching her face for any sign of what, if anything, she was getting from searching my mind. Having been around a number of telepaths throughout my short lifetime, I'd learned to recognize the familiar presence gently prodding at the tip of my mind. But, unlike with the Professor or even Jean, Emma's mental touch was ice cold. "In fact, Ah feel better than Ah have in months."

Lips pursed, Emma merely noted something on the large pad she balanced upon her knees. "The lingering presence of the woman known as Carol Danvers will never fully dissipate, I'm afraid. You, as you're already aware, fully absorbed her psyche when you drained her of her last breaths." I barely managed to refrain from grimacing when the woman, so very bluntly, mentioned one of many black marks upon my name. "But, it appears as though, at least for now, you have gained control over her powerful presence in your mind well enough to function somewhat normally. Test results have proven that her rather useful abilities have been permanently gifted to you, yes?"

"Ah still got her powers, yeah," I responded, brows furrowed at the way her blue eyes met mine for a split second before lowering to stare at the pad. The easiest part of the exam, most surprisingly, had been the long and drawn out mental probe conducted first by Elizabeth Braddock and secondly by Emma Frost. I had thought that the worst part was over with when Elizabeth had left the room and Emma had started firing off questions and jotting down things on that blasted pad of hers. "Are we done yet?" I asked softly, biting my lower lip in thought.

Yet, when her icy blue eyes met mine yet again, I somehow knew that we were far from finished. "Betsy and I have both thoroughly discussed your situation and we've come to a number of conclusions." She didn't have to add that they'd discussed my situation _mentally_, as I'd already gathered as much. "We have placed strong mental blocks around the psyche known as Carol Danvers that will enable you to function as close to normally as humanly possible. Please, keep in mind that if Charles were still around we would not have to worry about an eventual flare up, but Betsy and I can only do so much."

_Ah'm sure_, I fought the urge to roll my eyes, and did not miss the way her eyes narrowed in my direction. "Does that mean Ah'm cleared completely? That Ah can go?" I asked softly, holding in a chestful of air as I awaited her response.

"Yes, that does mean that you're completely cleared, Rogue," Emma replied as she uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. "But, if I may be so bold... Where is it exactly that you plan to go?"

"Ah don't suppose that all telepaths got that thing known as common decency," I muttered, eyes narrowed in annoyance. There was no doubt in my mind that even after the mental probe that she'd continued to skirt through my mind; my memories and thoughts. "Guess that's why yah ain't nothin' like the Professuh."

Lips thinned, the woman eyed me with an obvious disdain that I returned. "For your information, Rogue, I'm under direct orders from both Ororo and Hank to ensure that you are no longer a threat to the School. A girl with your abilities is a force to be reckoned with, particularly considering the fact that the only reason they managed to take you down in New Orleans is because they caught _Carol_ unaware. Quite an unfortunate incident, I believe. But, one that should not be repeated." Against my will, I found myself nodding in agreement. "I'm sure that you're wondering exactly what I've learned from the mental probe, and exactly what I've chosen to share with the others, are you not?"

Tight-lipped, I merely shook my head in dismissal. "Ah don't care anymore," I hissed, lying straight through my teeth. Even before I'd been picked up at a bar in Laughlin City, I'd never intended to tell _anybody_ my full story, mainly because it was none of their business. Yet, Emma Frost easily had access to all of my inner turmoil, my memories, my fears. She knew everything and anything, provided that she was as strong a telepath as she boasted. Was I scared that she would share all of my deepest and darkest secrets with the rest of the team? "If yah wanna tell 'em, who am Ah tah tell yah not to?"

"Correctly assumed, I'm afraid," she replied curtly. "Well, the hard part is over, Rogue. Thankfully, I have to admit that at this point in time, I see no reason to subjugate you to further indecent housing when you are obviously capable of controlling yourself. For now, of course," she eyed me warily.

"Then Ah can go?" I asked again, hope blossoming in my chest.

Her lips thinned as she tapped her perfectly manicured fingers upon her pad. "Go where, exactly?" she questioned again, plucked brows lifted in intrigue. "Rogue, where are you planning to go?"

"Away," I murmured, replying as honestly and as forward as I felt comfortable with. But, when her eyes remained locked onto mine, I realized that a simple, though actually honest, answer would not do at all. "Ah'm goin' tah Alaska," I announced, sucking in a deep breath and holding it in my lungs while she continued to stare at me.

Lack of reaction on her part made me feel as though she'd already picked up at least a _little bit_ regarding my somewhat planned trip. "Yes, well, I suppose that a bit of time away from the chaos here at the School might do you a bit of good," she finally murmured, her lips pouting as she tapped the pad with her pen. "However, I would like to inquire as to how you plan to pay for such a long trip. I imagine that even flying there would be out of your range of affordability."

"Actually, Ah kinda talked tah Storm 'bout it," I admitted, though softly. While I had talked to the Headmistress about my financial problems just the day before, I held little hope of her actually being able to do anything. After all, it was Vanzetti's fault that my accounts had been frozen to begin with. It'd take a lot more than a little pull from a School to get things moving in her favor. "But, Ah don't know how that's goin'. Guess Ah'll have tah wait till that's all cleared up."

"Indeed," Emma murmured in response before dropping the pad on the small coffee table between us and re-crossing her legs. "In all actuality, Ororo put Katherine on the job yesterday afternoon." Stunned, I merely clenched at the satin gloves in my lap and watched as she lifted a bottle of fine water to her lips. After she'd replaced the cap and sat the bottle back on the table, she grinned at me. "I'm sure that you'll be happy to know that Miss Pryde was able to transfer your money, all of it, into two separate accounts in a much safer location." Deftly, she nodded at a slip of paper sitting on the corner of the coffee table that had drawn my attention throughout the entire meeting. "Those are your account numbers, along with the PIN numbers. I've been instructed to inform you that you should go to the banks in town and change your PIN numbers and pick up your ATM card."

Stunned, I reached forward and pressed the slip of paper into the palm of my left hand in amazement. "Ah heard she was good, but damn," I shook my head in disbelief as I stared down at the listed numbers before sucking in a deep breath. Aware of her gaze, I quickly slipped the piece of paper into the pocket of my jeans before clasping my hands in my lap once again. I twisted the fabric of the gloves around my fingers as I wondered if I was excused or if she had more to add. "Then Ah can go, right?" I questioned slowly, trying to weed out as much of my accent as possible.

"As I said, a bit of time away from here would do you good, Rogue." The way she said my name made me wonder if she actually preferred it over Marie, as she _did_ know my name. "Ororo is of the opinion that you are needed here for the next week or so, but I've agreed to come in and cover a bit until Allison settles in. I hope that I am able to persuade Ororo into hiring a few other people so that things around here are not quite so hectic. After all, I do have a day job." Her blue orbs rolled around in an annoyed manner before she stood up and placed her hands on her hips. "I suppose you have a great deal to do today if you plan on leaving in the morning..."

Stunned, I could only sit there and watch as she gathered her bottle of water and pad of paper before leaving me alone in the lounge that we had occupied for a great deal of time. My head felt heavy, so I leaned back against the chair and merely stared at the chair that she had sat in just moments ago. It seemed unreal to be told that I was actually cleared; that I was permitted to leave. "Ah'm free?" I murmured, in complete disbelief.

"Actually, you're only halfway there," a voice murmured from the entryway of the room. Perplexed, I turned my gaze in that direction only to find myself face to face with one Katherine Pryde. She walked across the room slowly before dropping into the chair that Emma had occupied just moments before. Kitty, unlike Emma, did not cross her legs, but still managed to look far more mature than her meager years should have allowed. Hazel eyes met mine and I fought the urge to squirm as she brushed back her brown locks. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

Lips thinned in worry, I slowly cocked my head to the side. "Ah guess so, Kit," I responded, not fully comfortable with her scrutinizing gaze. "What is it?"

She stared at me for another long moment before she let out a short sigh. "Rogue, how'd you get that much money?" The question was direct, and said with so little emotion that for a moment I wasn't sure if she was judging me or if she was merely curious. "I mean, you said that you were living on the streets, Rogue. But you had money tied up in CDs and other short-term investments that... well, most of them doubled since you were last able to access either of your accounts. But, when I ran the numbers, and forgive me if I'm wrong, it means that you had over twenty grand in the bank."

Biting my lip thoughtfully, I found myself assessing Kitty with a newfound respect. Sure, she was the reason that I'd felt comfortable enough to leave Bobby behind in the first place, as she'd already taken him from me. For a long time, I'd wanted to hate her; to stare at her with utter contempt. When I'd first seen them outside of my window before I'd ventured to get the cure, it had felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. But, internally I had to thank her for giving me the courage to tell Logan how I really felt, how I'd always hoped that sooner or later he'd come back _for_ me, not just because of me. But, did that change the fact that Kitty was everything I'd once thought I'd wanted to be?

"Somewhere 'round there, yeah," I replied tartly, swallowing the lump in my throat before I pulled on the black satin gloves. I felt her gaze on my hands, but I paid her no mind until they were secured and I no longer felt tempted to simply wrap my nimble fingers around her neck until she admitted that she'd stolen my boyfriend from me. "Ah guess yah could say Ah had a good thing goin' till Ah fell in with the wrong sorta crowd, Kit."

"Storm said something along those same lines, and urged me to see if I could connect any of the dots that you so eagerly omitted. I suppose you'll be relieved to know that there's no paper trail regarding how or why, or even whom changed the status of your accounts." She seemed to be eyeing me, waiting for some kind of a visible response to her words. I merely met her gaze levelly and breathed a mental sigh of relief in knowing that my secret was at least safe for a bit longer. "I did, however, find a link between a Marie D'Ancanto and a rather upscale organization that inhabits a location known simply as _The Club_. Would you happen to know anything about that, Rogue?"

I half expected Kitty to steeple her hands together under her chin in a vague impression of the Professor as she eyed me expectantly. But, instead, she merely stared at me intently, as if hoping that I would falter under her unwavering gaze. Instead, I merely smiled before crossing my denim-clad legs and tapping my fingers against the top of my thigh. "Ah wouldn't have th' faintest idea, Kit. Reckon it sounds like some sort uh club though, don't yah?"

A frown flitted across her features before she slowly shook her head. "Listen, Rogue, I don't know what all happened while you were gone, but I hope that it isn't as bad as it looks like from the outside." I tensed visibly and her eyes narrowed in accusation, but she didn't comment on it. "Storm told me that she heard that you were hoping to get away for awhile, which is why I rushed it and got the money out as fast as I could. You'll find that in a matter of a few business days that you'll get a letter from your old bank thanking you for your withdrawal and such, but as far as anybody else is concerned, your money up and disappeared."

"Ah can't thank yah enough, Kit," I murmured, my throat constricting in unwanted emotion. The girl honestly had no idea how much she had done for me by simply giving me back the money that Victor had virtually stolen from me. "Ah'm leaving," I found myself saying, almost against my will.

"Storm said Logan talked to her about taking some time off," she cleared her throat. "She seems to think that the two of you are taking a bit of a trip together. That sound about right?"

An unwanted flush crept up my neck as I pulled my gaze away from hers in order to stare pointedly at the bland floor. Idly, I nodded my head and found myself thankful that she was not Emma, nor a telepath. "Ah reckon yah could say that. Ah told him that Ah was gonna go away fah a bit and he went and volunteered tah tag along." Finally feeling as though I'd regained at least a bit of my composure, I lifted my gaze and met her hazel eyes yet again. I wasn't even sure why Logan had volunteered, or more insisted, to go with me on my trip. It was something that I'd found myself wondering about a great deal, particularly after the way he'd reacted the day before in the classroom and the way that he'd successfully avoided me all night. "Ah guess he just wants tah make sure that Ah don't wander off or something," I surmised.

But, Kitty didn't appear to buy it as she merely lifted a brow in my direction before shaking her head. "Well, I hope that when you get back that you'll finally feel comfortable enough to reveal your secrets before they come back to bite all of us in the ass." With that, she stood and crossed her arms over her chest. "Listen, Rogue, I don't know who you got tied up with or even _how_ you crossed paths with Carol Danvers," I winced visibly at the name, "but I do know that whatever it was that caused you to come back like you are now isn't pretty. Just remember, Rogue, _we're_ your friends. Friends don't fuck friends over." Then, she simply phased through the wall nearest her and disappeared from sight.

Emotionally distraught, I found myself standing and slipping out of the room as quietly as possible. When I had mentioned the frozen accounts to Storm, I had never expected that they'd actually be able to help. I had also not considered what would happen if they managed to find a bit more out than I was actually ready to share. From the looks of things, Kitty Pryde, the epitome of X-Men perfection, was hot on a trail that would only lead to her discovering things that I wasn't willing to look back on myself.

"Goin' somewhere, _cherie_?" I froze in my tracks and found myself staring at the figure of none other than Remy LeBeau, who appeared to be leaning against the railing of the staircase at the landing, his shades pulled halfway down his nose so that his devil eyes were visible. Slightly off kilter, I found myself taking a fumbled step backwards before regaining my balance and, hopefully, my composure. A playful smirk found its way to the man's lips as he quietly shuffled a deck of cards in his hands. "Heard dat de Rogue was makin' an exit, non?"

Vaguely, I wondered where on earth he had heard such a thing, as I'd only discussed it with Logan, Emma, and Kitty in length. But, then I decided that his close proximity to the lounge would have warranted him a fly's view on the entire situation at hand. Granted, it meant that he had eavesdropped, something that I frowned upon.

Offering him merely an intense gaze, I lifted one shoulder in a noncommital motion. "Ah guess yah could say that, Cajun. Why, gonna miss meh?" I teased, offering him a pouted smile.

Much to my chagrin, he smirked and inclined his head in such a way that I felt his non-moving eyes trail over my body in a very unwanted nature. "Remy just wondered when he was gonna get a chance t' catch up wit' de belle."

"Ah, so yah finally remember meh?" I lifted a brow in suspicion as I crossed my arms over my chest. Quite honestly, I'd been surprised when the man hadn't recognized me in New Orleans when I'd tracked him down to the less than fruitful side of town. It wasn't exactly as if we'd interacted a great deal at _The Club_, but how could he forget _it_? "Well, Ah was wonderin' when yah were gonna come around, sugah." I offered him a cheeky grin even as I slid past him and up the stairs.

But, he called up after me, "Oui, belle femme. Remy remember. He remember it all." While his voice was level and calm, I got the distinct feeling that he was attempting to put me at ease even as I glanced over my shoulder and found him eyeing me rather inquisitively. "De Rogue seem t' be a belle femme o' many talents, non? Dat why she leave now? Non, de belle is no 'fraid o' a spiteful man like Vanzetti." It sounded like a question, but deep down inside I knew that it was a statement.

"Well, just remember that Ah'm th' one that saved yah sorry swamp rat ass, Cajun," I retorted, ice filling my veins. "Ah'm th' one that has tah live with _it_ every damned day." Without another word, I stalked directly to a room whose location I knew by heart. The door was closed, as was to be expected on a late morning. Hesitantly, I reached forward and knocked briskly, hoping that he was there and not off brooding somewhere or teaching a Danger Room session.

When the door opened, I was thrown for a loop. Dressed only in a pair of jeans with water beading down his naked chest, a wet-haired Logan eyed me curiously as he leaned against the open door. "Yeah?" he muttered, making me wonder if he wasn't in the best sort of moods.

Slowly, I managed to tear my hungry gaze away from the perfectly sculpted chest in front of me and drag my eyes up to meet his gaze. Still, I could not help but find myself glancing down repeatedly at the coarse hairs that seemed to merely accentuate his male body in the very best of ways. In fact, my tongue seemed incapable of speech as my eyes trailed over the trail of hair that seemed to disappear into his jeans, half wondering what it would take to get those jeans off of him.

Suddenly aware of my less than innocent gaze, I shifted self-consciously, cursing myself mentally as I took a number of long and sharp breaths, hoping to clear my mind. Yet, when I met his gaze, I found myself wondering if he was annoyed or intrigued, eventually deciding that he was annoyed when he shifted and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Ah, well Ah just wanted tah let yah know that Ah'm leavin' in th' morning," I managed to choke out. He shifted slightly and I found myself letting out a short sigh of relief when he didn't merely nod his head and shut the door in my face. After all, I had been ogling him as though he were some sort of delectable food; one that should be gobbled up slowly and consciously. Annoyed with my train of thoughts, I shook my head and met his gaze. "Kitty managed tah help meh clear up a bit of financial problems and Ah'm gonna head on tah town and get things sorted out. But, Ah just thought that since yah, well, said yah'd..." I trailed off, suddenly scared that he had merely insisted that he'd go with me so that I'd consider not going. After all, we weren't exactly on the best footing with one another.

Surprisingly, Logan merely offered me a gruff grunt as he shrugged one masculine, mouth-watering shoulder in response. "Already told 'Ro I was needing some time off. So, at least for three weeks, I'm all yours, kid." My cheeks heated in response and I watched as his eyes darted to the side for a moment before meeting mine again. "That's all the vacation time I got racked up," he offered, cheekily. Silently, I wondered if he had inadvertently flirted with me, or if the man was so chock-full of testosterone that he was completely ignorant of the fact that he was the epitome of male glory.

"Ah, well, that's good tah hear," I admitted begrudgingly. Slowly, I took another breath and glanced over my shoulder at the barren hallway before meeting his gaze again. "Look Logan, Ah don't get why yah said yah'd go, but Ah want yah tah know that yah ain't gotta. Ah'm a big girl now, Ah can take care o' mahself." I waited for a response, but he merely stared at me, as if waiting for the real reason that I'd interrupted him while he was getting dressed. "Ah was cleared and didn't no one say nothin' 'bout me not bein' able tah drive mahself. So, Ah'm good tah go, once Ah find meh a vehicle," I murmured, half to myself.

He was quiet for a long moment as I tugged at my gloves in nervous anticipation. "I said I was takin' you and that's final, kid. Besides, Anchorage is a helluva long drive. Figure maybe we'd stop off in a few of my old bars and win me some cash. Lord knows it takes a lot t' take a trip cross country nowadays. Fuckin' fuel prices," he growled, missing the way I merely smiled. "We'll take my truck," he decided, causing me to lift a brow in response. _He has uh truck?_ As if noticing my confused expression he quickly explained, "Bought me one awhile back. Ain't top o' the line, but it's what we're gonna need up there this time o' year."

"A'right," I agreed, quietly. "Ah'm gonna run in town and take care o' some things, Ah guess. Ah just, well Ah just wanted tah let yah know that yah ain't gotta go." I met his gaze and searched his eyes for a hint of the truth: that he was only going to make sure that I came back. But, his eyes, as always, held no answers for me, and left me more disgruntled than before. "Oh," I murmured, suddenly remembering what had been at the back of my mind when I had knocked, "do yah got a bag or somethin' that Ah can use?" I asked, shifting my gaze to beyond him, where his slightly messy room lay.

Much to my surprise, he merely took a step back and disappeared from sight before reappearing with a huge duffel. He dropped it in my outstretched hands before leaning against the open door again. "That should do ya, kid. Don't overpack, a'right?" A grin found its way to his lips as I brushed my gloved fingers over the army green fabric, wondering where he'd picked it up. "Listen, I got some stuff t' take care of. I'll see you later." Then, with a gruff nod and a strange sound that reminded me of a cat trying to get rid of a furball, he shut the door in my face.

Elated beyond my wildest dreams, I found myself literally floating down the hall, a stupid smile on my face. At that single moment in time, nothing else mattered. It didn't matter that _he_ had been the reason that I'd left the Mansion in the first place; it didn't matter that _he'd_ never come looking for me like I'd hoped. All that mattered was that for some strange reason, Logan was accompanying me on a trip that I'd been planning since I was just a kid. In all actuality, I'd been heading to Anchorage when I found myself broke and alone in Laughlin City. If I hadn't run into Logan...

Thrown out of my daze, I ran smack into a tall figure and found myself staring upward in confusion. The duffel bag was clenched tightly in my right hand, but my left was fisted and ready to make contact with whatever it was that had stopped my private daydreaming. Instead, I found myself smiling at the hulking figure that stared down at me.

"Ah, I see that you are doing well today, Rogue," Pete commented with a huge grin across his face. "Where are you going in such a hurry, if I may ask?" He slowly crossed his arms over his chest and merely inclined his head to the side slightly, as if to urge me to respond.

My feet touched down on the carpeted floor gently and I found myself still smiling, though against my will. "Yeah, Ah'm doin' good, Pete," I answered honestly as I unclenched my fist. "Ah reckon that yah doing good too?" I teased, wagging my brows in reference to the awkward situation I'd found myself in just the day before. Much to my delight, a flush crept up the large man's neck and forced him to look away for a moment before his blue eyes met mine again. "Ah was just gonna head on intah town tah th' bank," I murmured, biting my lip in thought. "Reckon yah wouldn't wanna give a gal a ride, Pete?"

Thankfully, he merely smiled as he stared down at me. "You are in luck, podruga. I have no further classes this afternoon. I would be delighted to drive you into town and accompany you. That is, if you do not mind me stopping off to grab something." His gaze shifted to my right and I wondered exactly what it was that Pete needed to stop off to get, but decided that questioning him wasn't the best choice.

"Sounds good tah meh," I agreed hurriedly, shifting the duffel bag into my left hand. "Ah'm gonna run this to mah room. Ah'll meet yah downstairs, big guy."

It was simply amazing, in my opinion, how in just one day things had seemed to turn around for me in such a positive manner. I found it hard to believe that just a few short days ago I hadn't even been myself; that I had been some sort of strange shell of a woman that I had killed. But, the realization stopped me dead in my tracks the moment that I entered my room.

It didn't matter what I did to move on with my life; what I did to prove that I was still _just_ Rogue. Because of the transgressions and black marks against my name, I would always be different. I would always be the untouchable girl, even if I could physically touch.

_Why though?_ I asked myself as I stared down at my unmade bed.

But, deep down inside, I knew the reason why.

_Who wants tah touch a cold-blooded murderer?_

* * *

**A/N:**I'm sorry that the first part is centered. I hope it wasn't too hard to read. I've changed it a gazillion times and FFN still insists that it should be centered. I have no idea what's up with that. About halfway through the next chapter. Wish me luck and I may have it done in the next few days!


	18. Chapter Eighteen

_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

_**Nothing Else Matters**_**- Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving **_**was**_** her only option, but not necessarily the best.**

**A/N:** What do you know, people...It didn't take me a month to update the story! Wow, congrats to me, I know. The story's getting moody, yet again, which is to be expected. I'm in that sort of a funk right now were angst is really suiting me. So, get ready for a few more chapters of the sad stuff. **Thank you to my reviewers: **_saz89, Gaialy, dulcesweet, perfect star, Mine and Mine Alone, Nikki-4, _**and**_ CaptMackenzie._

* * *

_**-Nothing Else Matters-**_

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

"Rogue, are you sure that you're ready to leave?" Ororo stared at me with a worried expression across her face as she stood in my path. Shouldering the duffel into a more comfortable position, I lifted my left hand and brushed my platinum locks out of my face and nodded. "I feel as though this is being rushed. Are you sure that you feel comfortable leaving so suddenly?"

Biting my lower lip thoughtfully, I nodded and skillfully slipped past the woman and further into the garage so that I could throw the bag into the backseat of the black Chevy truck sitting with the engine running. "Ah'm gonna be fine, Storm." I sighed as I turned and faced the concerned looking woman again. Ever since Peter and I had returned from a little shopping excursion the day before, the Weather Witch had been more jumpy than usual. Personally, I wasn't sure whether it was the simple fact that I was leaving, or simply the fact that she didn't like who I was leaving _with._

"It's just..." she trailed off momentarily as Logan entered the garage with two large bags in tow. The man said nothing as he deposited the bags into the bed of the truck before disappearing back into the house. Lips pursed, the woman merely glanced up at me as I used the rear tire to hop into the back of the truck in order to move the items scattered in the bed around. "Rogue, you're in no shape or form to be leaving this Mansion. You and I both know that."

"Storm, ain't no offense t' yah, but Ah'm fine," I managed as I squatted and grabbed a large blue cooler and shoved it into the front of the bed just under the sliding rear window. It made for easy access to the drinks, something that Logan would no doubt appreciate.

"I know that this has been extremely difficult for you, Rogue, but you just suffered an extremely traumatic and life-altering experience." Her words seemed to be laced with disbelief and confusion, almost as if she didn't quite believe that anything in the past few weeks had really happened. But, they had happened. "I think it might be best if you gave this a bit more time before venturing outside of the Mansion and away from any assistance that we might bring."

Standing, I stared down at her with creased brows. The woman wouldn't give up, and for the life of me I couldn't even begin to understand why. I would have assumed that no longer having to deal with me would have put her in a bit of a better mood, but I was extremely disappointed. "Look, Ah appreciate th' fact that yah worried, Storm, Ah really do. But Ah can't just sit 'round here wonderin' how long Ah'm gonna be meh, can Ah?" The question was one that I'd been asking myself ever since the strange episode had passed.

After all, the woman's psyche was just as prominent in me, it seemed, as my own. How likely was it that I would remain me _forever_?

With a mild grimace, she gave a curt nod. "I understand your position completely, believe me. But, there are certain times when a person must accept the fact that others are needed in order for them to remain in control, safe even. Do you even realize how difficult it is for me when I'm upset or flustered? One horrible mood could level the entire Mansion if I allowed it, Rogue. I don't want that to happen to you..." she trailed off, obviously hoping that her _woe is me_ attitude would reach a place inside of me that would cause me to falter long enough to give in and accept the fact that staying at the Mansion was the best option for me.

"Ah'm not stayin', Storm," I repeated, for the fifth time that morning alone. If my count was correct, however, the same exact phrase had been muttered in a number of ways and in a number of different pitches the night before at dinner when I had announced my imminent departure to the rest of the household. However, it appeared as though the woman truly did not understand that I did not plan on sticking around long enough for her to come to terms with the fact that I was no longer a ward of the school.

She could not force me. At least not legally.

"'Ro, Betsy's in there lookin' for ya." Luckily, I was saved from the ivory-haired woman's imminent wrath by the owner of the truck as he swept back into the garage with yet another bag slung across his shoulder. A mere quirk of his eyebrow in my direction was enough to have me hopping out of the back of the truck and walking toward the cab, even as he gave the goddess a quick once over. "She said somethin' 'bout Gumbo in the Women's Locker Room, but she went off flyin' with that fancy shiny sword o' hers before I could get the whole story."

A worried line appeared on Ororo's forehead as she swept her bright blues away from my form in order to take in Logan's rather unkempt appearance. With an exhausted sigh, she tossed her hands into the air and let out a long huff of air. In defeat, she waved her hands toward me and rushed out of the garage without another word.

Feeling a slight rush of freedom, I offered Logan a quick smile, one that he didn't return as he hefted the bag into the bed of the truck before pulling the bed's cover over it and securing it. "Well, y' gonna get in, kid?" he asked with a faintly confused expression as he slid off his thick worn brown leather jacket and tossed it into the backseat of the extended cab Chevy truck. Nodding, I slid into the already open passenger door before gripping the sidebar and slamming it, cringing only slightly at the loud creaking noise.

"Yah shoulda just said yah bought a hunk o' junk instead of sayin' it wasn't exactly top o' the line, yah know," I chastised as I hastenly fastened the worn safety belt and watched as he languidly climbed into the driver's seat. He looked completely at home behind the wheel of the huge black Chevy, and it didn't seem at all odd that the truck itself smelled of cigars and worn leather. In a way, it was merely Logan.

Glancing over at me, he lifted a brow and slowly fastened his safety belt. I knew that if it weren't for the law, Logan wouldn't even bother with the strap that was supposed to save lives. Why bother when you had your own built in hospital, right?

"Listen here, Stripes," he began as he pointed the cherry of his cigar in my general direction, "This is gonna be a long ass trip and I'm not gonna to listen to your lip the whole way. So, if ya don't like the way I live, you can hop on out."

"No, no," I began as he placed his foot on the brake and slid the gearshift into drive, "It looks just fine." Oddly enough, it was a strange sort of repeat of one of the first sentences I'd ever said to Logan. I found myself briefly wondering if he'd ever missed the truck that had obviously been his home for years before I'd hitchhiked outside of Laughlin City all that time ago and caused it to get blown sky high just because a certain Bucket Head wanted to use me for some strange machine.

"Ah can't believe Ah'm finally leavin'," I murmured, mainly to myself, as the black truck made its away out of the large gate that secured the School. Relaxed finally, I rested more comfortably against the seat and kept my gaze on the road as the man just a few mere feet away from me moved it professionally down

the icy roads, as though he didn't have a care in the world. "Does it always feel this good tah be leavin' that place fah yah?" I found myself asking, much to my own surprise.

The cigar was peeking out from the corner of his lips as he glanced over at me momentarily before turning his dark eyes to the road again. For a long moment, I feared that it was the only answer I would get. Yet, just when I'd given up hope, he pulled the cigar out of his mouth and held it between his left middle and forefinger and glanced over at me with a thoughtful expression.

"Hard to miss a place that ain't got nothin' waiting on you when you get back, kid." The answer was bland, and emotionless save for a bit of disgust that lingered beneath that made me think that there was a bit more to the cryptic answer than I'd ever care to delve into. "The place is a pain in the ass most o' the time, though it's got its ups and downs, if you get what I'm saying." A small snort accompanied his response even as he took a quick toke from his cigar and sent the tangy smoke in my direction. "Ain't really left in awhile, so it's feelin' a little strange right about now."

Nose wrinkled, I stared at the expanse before us, silently wondering if Logan was actually making an attempt to open up and speak about the supposedly unspeakable things that littered _our_ past. It wasn't as if it were any secret that I had been the anchor that had kept him coming back to the School to begin with, even if Dr. Grey'd had a lot to do with it toward the end. He'd stuck around because I'd made him promise to look after me, and as guilty and as childish as it had made me seem at the time, I'd made him stick to that promise.

Taking a hazardous breath, I lifted my chin and stared at the side of his face. "Yah haven't left since Ah been gone, have yah?" It was basically what Jubilee had insisted, what the others had hinted at, and what his statement leaned toward, but I wasn't certain whether or not the man had actually been unable to leave the Mansion that he hated purely because I was no there for him to come back to. "Yah got rid o' yah tags a long time ago, Logan."

A long and awkward silence ensued, one that caused me to shift uncomfortably against the worn leather seat in order to lean my side against the door and rest my cheek against the cool window. "I've left the Mansion, I just ain't wandered far, girl." Of course he'd left. Even I knew that. "But, I ain't gone too far 'cause I kept hopin' you were gonna show back up so that I could shake you silly." Hesitantly, I lifted my head and turned my gaze in his direction only to realize that he was staring at me intently.

Narrowing my eyes, I drew in a long breath. "Then why didn't yah just take off before Ah managed tah hitch a ride again?" I asked softly, afraid of the answer.

Pulling the cigar out and holding it yet again in his left hand's fingers, Logan gave a short shake of his head. "Gotta make sure there's someone 'round to look after you, don't I?" It was more of a statement than a question, but it still made my heart flutter a bit. It suddenly didn't matter if I wanted to wrap my fingers around his neck and squeeze until his eyes boggled out of his head. No, all that mattered was the man that I had missed talking to was actually willing to have a real conversation with me, one that didn't revolve around how I'd screwed up in the past. Though, something told me that conversation would be coming sooner or later.

"Yeah, well Ah didn't see yah comin' after meh when Ah left," I muttered, feeling doubtful all of a sudden. After all, if the man was as honest as he seemed, then he should have tracked me down, right?

"Who's t' say that I didn't come after you?" he mumbled, his eyes trained on the road.

Heart pounding, I licked my dry lips and fumbled with the strap across me nervously, trying to decipher truth from reality. No, it couldn't have been. Logan never came after me, he was simply turning my words around on me and trying to make me feel bad for never contacting the Mansion, wasn't he?

"Yoar lyin', Logan. Lyin' ain't yah cup o' tea," I said with a hint of venom that I just couldn't manage to weed out in my voice. Staring at him intensely, I found myself wondering how it was even possible for him to keep from glancing over at me.

Then, his eyes met mine and I realized how foolish I had been. Those dark and deep orbs held a hundred thousand secrets that I would never know, that the world would never know. "Never thought ya'd like a place like _Willie's_," he muttered under his breath, as if it were just some sort of offhanded comment.

Then, his eyes were on the road again and I was left staring at him in complete disbelief. "Then again, they got some good waffles, an' you can smoke in there," he added, almost offhandedly.

Vaguely, I remembered thinking that Logan would love the place, but it had never occurred to me that he'd ever been nor would ever be a patron there. It seemed so farfetched, so unbelievable, that I couldn't help but shake my head. "A'right, now yah got some explainin' t' do, Logan. Can't just leave meh hangin'."

"Explain what, kid? That I waited a little over a month before followin' the trail and trackin' yah into the city? Or how 'bout the fact that the first diner that caught my eye had yer scent all over it? That damned waitress sure was a talker, I'll give 'er that." He was being completely serious, that much I understood. "Took a bit of persuading on my part, but ol' Anna finally gave me the address of that place you were workin' at."

Gulping, I found myself clenching my gloved fingers in my lap. Never before had I ever considered the fact that Logan might have actually come after me. It was simply too unbelievable, yet, it was true? "Anna _never_ said nothin' 'bout you comin' to the diner, Lgoan. Yah gotta believe me." But who was I trying to convince? Me or him? "Then yah..." I trailed off, shaking slightly, "yah know?"

"Know what?" he snorted in response as he turned onto a deserted interstate, his eyes still on the road. "Talkin' 'bout you and your boyfriend? Never figured you for the power-hungry type, kid." He paused, and I felt the truck slowing even as the tears begin to build in my eyes. I felt nauseous, sick to my stomach as he continued. "Though I didn't know 'til ol' Gumbo got to the School that you were shackin' up with the head of the New York Thieves Guild, darling. Guess your taste is a bit richer than I thought, eh?"

Chest heaving, I clawed at the latch on the safety belt, trying to release it. "Stop th' truck," I whispered hoarsely, sweat beading on my upper lip as I struggled to get my breathing under control. "Stop th' damned truck!" Surprisingly, the truck came to an immediate and lurching halt at the side of the road just as I'd managed to get the safety belt off of me. Blindly, I groped at the door handle, blinking away tears that still managed to fall no matter how hard I tried to rid myself of them.

"Rogue, what the hell are you doing?" he barked at me as he threw the truck into park just as I'd managed to push the creaky door open.

Stumbling, I fell out of the truck and onto my knees. My vision was blurry and my chest felt as though it was on fire, but I continued onward as I struggled to my feet only to find that my legs were unbelievably shaky. The air was chilly, and my breath fogged out of my mouth in thick wisps as I forced myself to move toward the guardrail. Nearly falling, I half clung half leaned against the short scrap of metal and stared in wonder at the rocky hill below.

Emotions that I never wanted to have seemed to bubble inside of me like some sort of a festering menace that just couldn't be ignored.

"Rogue? What the hell?" The voice of the man behind me did nothing to help the situation, and I felt the tremors rocking through my body almost instantly, as if the floodgates were only waiting. "Dammit, Marie?"

The use of my name, the name that only he and Bobby knew, caused me to let out a choked sob. My gloved fingers clawed greedily at the guardrail, half hoping that it would break and I would just topple down the rocky hill to my death. Never before had I felt so ashamed, so lost. The one person that I wanted to be proud of me obviously knew one of my most shameful secrets.

"Leave meh alone!" I choked out as I clenched my eyes closed tightly, letting the tears stream down my cheeks. My entire body shook with the sobs, and it felt as though a fist had crept inside of my chest and was squeezing my heart with each gut-wrenching breath that I took. "Leave meh alone, please," I managed to whisper, praying that he would just leave me there to die.

A strange squeak escaped my tear-stained lips as something warm and protective met my skin. Dazed, I did not fight the man off as he turned me around and pulled me into his arms and pressed my head against his chest. A cognitive part of my brain wondered how on earth I had missed him exiting the truck, but I gave it no thought as I sobbed against his red flannel shirt. The warmth of his body helped to warm me slightly, but I could only shiver and shake as my gloved fingers clutched at the soft fabric.

Time seemed to come to a standstill as I stood there in the arms of the man that had broken my heart so long ago. The sounds of nature did not breach my own solitude, nor allow me any reprieve from the constant onslaught of tears that seemed to have no end in sight. I wanted nothing more than to simply drown in my own tears, to somehow forget everything that had happened while I wasn't at the School. But, it was impossible.

It was impossible to forget something when it continued to look you in the face every single time you looked in the mirror.

"It's okay, Marie," he murmured as his bare fingers brushed over my hair. It was a strange sensation, really, particularly since I still was not used to the short locks that I had forced upon myself. Cheek pressed against his chest, I could only gurgle in my misery, wondering why such a simple example of human contact made me feel like a child. "I didn't mean t' make you cry. Don't cry."

Whether it was simply human nature for a male to simply loath the sight of a woman crying or simply Logan's way of apologizing, I managed to at least put a small stopper on the tears and control my breathing a bit better. I found myself wondering if he knew how hard it was for me to accept his touch after everything, even if there was that small part inside of me that relished in the feel of his fingers dancing through my hair.

"Ah'm sorry, Logan. Oh Gawd, Ah'm so sorry," I whispered vehemently as I pulled my face away and stared down in shame. I didn't deserve to look at him, or any other person for that matter. I was a fraud, only an empty shell of the girl I had left as. In less than a year's time, I had gone from lonely girl to killer. The strange cycle of disrepair did little to stop the tears completely as he used his bare fingers to cup my chin and force my gaze onto his.

Lips tightened in a scowl, he gripped my chin tightly and gave it a gentle shake. "You don't have to tell me sorry, and you know that. We've all been there, kid. We've all been there." I couldn't help but wonder if the slight narrowing of his eyes was the result of his reaction to my grimace at the obvious downgrade in names. "You did what you had to do."

"Ah'm tired, Logan," I whispered, eyes bloodshot and my nose runny. It suddenly didn't matter that I probably looked completely childish and messy, or if he was only petting my hair out of a need to get me to stop crying. "Ah'm so fuckin' tired of bein' meh that it ain't even funny no more."

He said nothing as he maneuvered himself so that he had an arm around my shoulder, one that was very much needed, and led me to the truck. Numbly, I could only let myself be led as I fought off the wave of self-loathing that seemed to simply eat me up inside like a parasite. I'm not even sure how he got me in the truck, but he did. Through the daze and my blurry vision, I watched him buckle me in before slamming the door and walking around the front of the truck to climb in on his side. Lips quivering, I stared at him with a sad expression on my face as he, too, buckled up and then put the truck back in gear.

"Why ain't we turnin' around?" I whispered as he continued along the same path that we had been before all hell had broken loose.

He didn't say a word for a long moment as he reached into the truck's console and pulled out what appeared to be a somewhat clean white shop rag. Without an ounce of flourish, he held it out for me, his gaze still on the road. "Thought you said you wanted t' get away, kid? If you want to go back..." he trailed off as he glanced over at me, shaking his hand a bit as if to indicate that he wasn't going to hold the rag forever.

Sniffling, I slowly took the rag from his grasp and dabbed at my cheeks clumsily, feeling more foolish than I had in a very long time. For so long, I'd tried to prove to him that I was not a child. And yet, in one full sweep, I'd managed to completely digress back into a bumbling teenager that obviously was not ready for the real world. It hurt my pride and it broke my heart.

"Why are yah puttin' up with meh?" I whispered, eyes focused on the dash in front of me as the truck lurched down the road. "Yah can just take meh on back and fahget about it. Ah know yah hate meh." It was said almost in a daring way, as if I was testing him when I was indeed not.

A sigh echoed in the cab of the truck that surprised me. "Dammit, kid, I _don't_ hate you." A hiss of breath caused me to glance over at him in surprise, only to find my eyes locked onto those dark orbs of his that seemed to draw me in like some sort of sinful pleasure. "I don't, and never could, hate you. So just get that through that thick skull o' yours, a'right?"

Biting my lower lip, I managed to brush at my tear-stained cheeks with the shop rag until I felt as though I at least didn't look like some sort of a snot factory. Still, it took a great deal of will power to refrain from ripping the door off of its hinges and simply flying as far away from him as possible. "Why didn't yah come after meh then?" I asked suddenly, breaking the silence that had settled in the cab.

His eyes were already back on the road, but he cast me a quick glance before his grip visibly tightened on the wheel. "You ain't- weren't a kid. You didn't need me no more, Rogue. I saw ya." His words were icy, choppy, and made me feel that much more miserable. "I got my ways of convincing folks that I gotta right to be places. 'Sides, apparently I was on the books..." he trailed off for a moment and I found myself looking at him inquisitively, even as he continued.

"Was havin' a nice drink when I saw ya walk in with a gaggle o' girls. Didn't recognize ya at first, honestly. Caught ya scent though, and looked up as ya walked over to this table in the middle o' the room." The words were said so deliberately that I suspected he must have practiced them. "Then this guy an' you..."

"What?" I prompted, twisting the rag in my hands, trying to rid myself of the shakes.

He sucked in a lung full of breath before he continued, as if it was paining him as much to say it as it was for me to hear it. "Gathered later from ol' Cajun breath that it was yer boy toy, some Victor or other. My, didn't the two of you look right nice and friendly." Oh, how quickly his voice could go from thick and deliberate to snappy and hurt.

"Ah never knew yah came," I admitted sullenly, wondering what I would have done at the time if he had appeared at _The Club_. Would I have gone back with him? Would I have simply laughed in his face and done my best to make him jealous? Looking back, I didn't know. "Ah never knew, Logan."

"I know you didn't, kid. I know."

"Why didn't yah tell me before now?" I demanded, a bit of that old fire creeping into my veins as I stared at him through heavily lidded eyes. "You made meh think that none of y'all had a damned clue what Ah went through out there. Yah knew!"

"No, kid, I didn't," he responded, almost _too_ calmly. "When I saw you, you were lookin' right happy and settled. Sure, I didn't like the environment ya were in, but like I said before..." his eyes met mine and my heart clenched. "I ain't yer father."

Blinking rapidly to dispel any tears that seemed to want to spill, I glanced out the window and merely stared at the snow-covered trees as we flew past them. Of course he wasn't my father, that much was evident. I knew that if my Daddy had ever walked in _The Club_ and saw what I was doing... He'd have found a switch and tanned my hide good before grabbing me by the hair and dragging me out. Not that he even gave a damn anymore, mutant or not.

"What happened with you and your boy toy?" he asked suddenly, drawing me out of my pitiful excuse of a reverie. "I didn't say nothin' to Storm, but she said somethin' 'bout your assets getting frozen. Now, I was a little confused at first 'bout how in the hell somethin' like that would get frozen, but then she explained."

A forced giggle exited my chapped lips as I forced myself to remain calm, even as I clenched my fists in my lap. I wanted nothing more than to cover my ears and hum some annoying song that would block him out, but it was childish and something told me that he'd just continue to ask until I spilt the beans.

"Ah ran into th' bad crowd, Logan. Ain't much more to it than that," I retorted, wondering how on earth I had managed to recover from such a horrible mess of tears so quickly. Then again, I merely blamed it on his presence and his ability to completely piss me off without really trying.

"Bullshit," he responded, the word like venom rolling off of his tongue. "I wanna know what happened so that I know whether or not I need to go rip this guy's balls off and feed 'em to a dog. So, spill it."

Without a word of warning, a choked sob racked through my frame yet again. Lifting my hands and pressing my palms against my face, I could only shake my head and wonder how in the hell it had all come down to such a moment. I was the one that had ruined the pleasant conversation. I was the one that had made him hate me.

I was the one that had forced it all to the surface.

It didn't matter if he asked, or demanded, because deep down inside I think I always knew that he was the one that I would tell.

So, I swallowed what was left of my pride and closed my eyes before leaning back in the seat and starting a tale that would, no doubt, change the relationship between us.

* * *

**A/N:** Y'all still out there? Still reading? Hahahaha. Leave me something pretty, yeah?


	19. Chapter Nineteen

_**Disclaimer: Wolverine, Rogue, and any other X-Men characters are the property of Marvel. I do not claim ownership of them. I simply like to pretend that they're my little pets and I manipulate the hell out of them.**_

_**Nothing Else Matters-**_ **Rogue has nothing left at the Institute, except for Logan. But, he pushes her away and she finds herself torn and broken. What's a girl to do? She leaves, knowing that she can never return once she leaves the safe walls that have caged her in. Broken and lost, a battered and soul searching Rogue returns to her roots against her true wishes to find that leaving was her only option, but not necessarily the best**.

**A/N:** What is there to say other than I'm terribly sorry? To be honest, once my flash drive died, I sort of lost interest in this story. It nearly broke my heart losing all of my hard work. But, I've recently realized that it's just not fair to have abandoned the story and left it as is. That being said, please allow me to apologize to those of you that have been waiting so long for this update. I know that there are still some out there that are interested, and I hope that you will all enjoy this chapter. Please, keep in mind that this isn't full of action and doesn't end things. But, we're working our way to that point!

* * *

_**-Nothing Else Matters-**_

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

Life as Victor Vanzetti's girl definitely had its perks. I was treated like royalty, I was escorted to the finest restaurants, the finest shopping boutiques, and I was admired. But, even while I was showered in gifts and adoration, I was also nothing more than a piece of well-dressed eye candy.

In the eyes of the people that Victor associated with, I didn't have a mind of my own. Hell, to them, I wasn't even capable of speech, let alone sight.

I was an invisible accomplice, one that was easily forgotten when the stakes were high or when the subject at hand was dipping more toward the illegal spectrum of things than not. In the minds of Victor Vanzetti, his buddies at _The Club_, and even the strangers we sometimes passed on the streets, I was nothing.

But, throughout it all, I had two people that I could count on no matter what. Cherry and Cinnamon were my closest friends, and the three of us spent a great deal of time together in and out of _The Club_. Granted, we didn't have as much time to ourselves at _The Club_, despite the fact that I had to work at least two nights a week when Victor was in one of his meetings. We served drinks together, earned outrageous tips together, and outside of work it only grew more and more awkward.

I had been working at _The Club_ for almost three months when I finally admitted aloud that I shouldn't have stayed.

"But it's too late for that now," Cherry assured me, her eyes trailing over my face as she picked at her salad. "Listen, sweets, we've been there a lot longer than you and we know that there are bound to be doubts, but-"

"Your chance, your one and only chance to escape was a long time ago," Cinnamon finished for her, perfectly sculpted brows drawn in a worried crease. "Look." She shifted in her chair, a few strands of her hair falling over her eyes and masking her expression slightly. "Right now, it's probably looking like the end of the world. But, after awhile, you start to realize that there are worse things. This _isn't_ the bottom of the barrel, that much is certain."

Biting my lip in thought, I tapped the heavy fork against the side of the salad plate, ignorant of the few patrons that glanced over at our table at the quiet ruckus. Platinum streaks of hair fell over my eyes, offering me at least a bit of privacy in my own thoughts as I mulled over the things that had been churning in my head for weeks. "Ah know that, y'all, Ah know. But- But what if it's about more than that? What if Ah..." I trailed off, lips pursed in annoyance.

The two woman across from me had been at my side for three months, three long months. They had tried to warn me not to stay at _The Club_, and Cherry had even tried to give me a rolled up wad of cash so that I could escape. And yet, I had ignored their pleas, had ignored their words of wisdom and thought mainly of the cash.

_ Gawd, yah are just a kid. Uh stupid little kid_.

"Rogue," Cinnamon sighed, her risotta completely forgotten as she reached across the table and squeezed my clammy hand. I jumped slightly at the contact, dark eyes drawn down to where our hands were connected atop the lace tablecloth. "If this is about Victor, I'm sure that we can distract him until he loses interest. He's just a man, and he's bound to lose interest sooner or later. We can make it sooner."

"No, it's not just him," I admitted, slowly pulling my hand out of her grasp as a heated shiver raced upwards from my fingertips. "Ah- Ah need to tell y'all somethin', somethin' that ain't gonna sit well." Hesitantly, I lifted my gaze, dropping my hands into my lap so that I could meet their gazes evenly. I knew, just knew, that the next words out of my mouth would probably destroy the fragile friendship that we had built, that all of the time that we had spent together would be seen somehow as _lies_, as manipulation. But, I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't lie.

They looked at each other, sharing a look that they probably didn't suspect I would notice. After an uncomfortable silence, they both stared at me levelly, nodding their heads slowly. "We're your friends. So, no matter what you say, we want you to know that we're here for you," Cherry murmured, her voice a bit huskier than normal.

Blankly, I stared down at my lap, ignorant of the sound of the lively café around us. We'd dined there several times before, both because it was rather upscale and because we'd never run into anyone we knew from work. The maître d' knew us by sight, and always had a table near the kitchens ready for us if we wandered in for a late afternoon lunch.

And yet, suddenly, it seemed like the worst possible environment for the conversation that we were about to have. Suddenly, it seemed like I couldn't have chosen a more inopportune time to share my news.

"Ah- Y'all know that y'all are lahke mah closest friends, right?" I asked quietly, almost afraid that they would laugh in my face and reveal that it had all been some clever game, made up to gain my trust so that they could tear me down. "Ah- Ah need tah tell yah somethin'."

"Okay," Cherry drew the word out, the sound of her plate being pushed away from her the only sound that greeted my ears. "Rogue, just tell us. It can't be as bad as you're making it out to be. Come on. We're here for you."

_Just do it_, I urged myself mentally, attempting to gather my wits.

Gaze focused on the untouched plate in front of me, I clasped my hands together in my lap and drew in a long, calming breath.

"Y'all know what mutants are, right?" I asked, waiting for a short moment before I continued. "O' course yah do, everyone knows what they are. Ain't lahke it's some sorta secret, now is it? They're- They're a little different, Ah'll give yah that much. Some yah wouldn't know it from lookin' at 'em, and others..." I trailed off, brows furrowed as I hid behind the platinum streaks of hair that were a subtle reminder of my run-in with one of the most diabolical mutants on the plant. "Others yah just know. Either they look a little off, or they just got that look in their eye that ain't quite natural."

"Okay," one of them replied, probably Cinnamon. Unable to look them in the eye, I focused on the roasted nuts that were scattered in the salad in front of me, partially wondering why anyone would put nuts in a salad.

"Awhile back, this company came on out and announced that it could change mutants, that it could cure 'em," I continued deliberately, keeping my voice as normal as possible. "Lotta people, mostly mutants that didn't think nothin' was wrong with 'em- Well, they weren't too happy. Some gov'ment company's gone and told 'em 'Hey, y'all ain't quite normal. Don't worry, we gonna fix you right up'. But others," I closed her eyes, willed herself to forget the moment that she'd seen the broadcast on the news. "Others thought that fer the first time, they might've had a real chance at'a real life."

I could still remember that elation, that feeling of disbelief as I'd swept into the Professor's study full of hope. The four of them had stared at me with varied looks of confusion, some even with remorse. But, it'd been only Ms Munroe that had really lit into me.

"Lotta mutants went straight out and got 'emselves cured right up." I nodded my head slowly, as if I was personally agreeing with their decisions. "Most o' 'em were doin' it 'cause they were scared, worried 'bout what the world was comin' to. People up in the White House been pushin' for more laws against mutants, and a lotta folks was scared, worried that their very way o' life was gonna be taken away. Not that yah could blame 'em, mind yah."

"My cousin went out," one of them spoke up suddenly, causing me to whip my head up so quickly that I probably suffered whiplash. Cinnamon was staring at me with eyes full of wonder, full of worry. She worried at her bottom lip for a moment before she tilted her head to the side slightly, her hair falling over her right eye at the movement. "He had a hard time at school dealing with the bullying. He was a scrawny little thing," she smiled sadly, a wrinkle creasing her brow. "Travis- Well, he could hear people's thoughts sometimes. When he was younger, it was kinda cute."

"I remember you talking about him," Cherry added, her voice filled with warmth. "Isn't he the one in that picture where you're at a pool party?"

Cinnamon nodded her head slowly, her gaze never leaving mine. "His mom, my Aunt Sharon, passed it off as a parlor trick when he was still just a kid. But, the older he got, the harder it was to kind of shield him. He started getting all these headaches, these migraines that would put him out of commission for days at a time." She pursed her lips as she idly lifted a piece of the olive bread and tore off a tiny, mouse-sized piece. Pinching it between her fingers, she took a small bite and chewed slowly. "Things were tense for a long time when he started high school. We went to the same one, but he was a few years younger than me. It was hard to look out for him because we didn't see each other all that often. And..."

"An' what?" I prompted, twisting my hands in my lap in an attempt to keep my voice as steady as possible.

"This kid, this Devon kid, always fucked around with him, with Travis. Was always calling him a freak and saying his headaches were caused by his period. Always seemed to call Travis a little pansy, a girl, because he was scrawny and quiet." Her eyes went blank for a moment and the olive bread pinched between her fingers was forgotten as her hand was slowly lowered to the surface of the table, where it rested. "I remember this one day, right before an assembly, Devon started shoving Travis around, slamming him against the lockers and stuff. I remember hearing someone yell Travis' name and turning around and somehow seeing him through the crowd of people. Devon had him by the throat," she lifted her hand subconsciously, her fingers brushing over her delicate neck lightly. "Had him by the throat and was yelling at him and everyone was just watching. They were just standing there."

Slowly, I untangled my hands and reached across the table, well aware of her sharp intake of breath as I wrapped my clammy hand around her own, offering her what strength I could. "It's a'right. Tell us, sugah."

"I remember shoving through all of those people, dropping my books and losing a heel as I shouldered my way through. And then- And then the screaming began. I was confused, but I kept going," she paused, her breathing staggered as her hand shook in mine. "Devon was on the ground and Travis was just standing there, just standing there and looking down at him. The kid, Devon, he was twitching and screaming and-" she cut off suddenly, swallowing thickly as tears peppered her perfectly curled lashes.

_Ah sometimes fahget that Ah ain't the only one that's seen some unforgettable stuff._

"The principal was there suddenly, and I remember kneeling there, staring down at Devon as Travis sat beside me, so fucking calm. It was like out of some horror movie, Rogue. Like someone had just uprooted my life and dumped me, my friends, that stupid jerk Devon, and my little cousin onto some movie set. And it just got worse." Tears built in her eyes as I stared at her, and I knew that it was through will alone that the tears hadn't fallen. "Turns out Travis was what my Aunt Sharon had been afraid of: a mutant. The doctors did lots of tests and some specialist from over in Europe came over. They locked Travis up in this ward for crazies, claimed that he was delusional. Poor Devon- Devon ended up six feet under a few weeks afterwards. He suffered a terrible series of strokes that left him completely comatose."

Silence filled the air around the three of us. The sounds from the patrons around us, the servers that bustled to and fro with platters laden with drinks and appetizers- we heard nothing. I knew, sensed somehow, that no matter what happened, no matter what I told them... It would all be okay. I wasn't positive how Cherry would react, but I knew that Cinnamon would never give it a second thought.

Cinnamon sucked in a deep breath as she slid her hand out of mine, busying herself by tearing off another small piece of the olive bread and rolling it between her thumb and forefinger. "Travis was a mutant. Or is. The doctors categorized him as a telepath, someone that can hear your thoughts, and can kind've make you hear their's. As if that makes sense." She rolled her eyes as she stared down at her hand, ignorant of the knowing smile that curled my lips slightly. "He was locked up for a good year by the time I moved up here and found _The Club_. I still hear from my mom now and then, and I still get e-mails from my Aunt Sharon. Turns out once that cure thing came out, Travis was one of the first in line."

"So he's not like that anymore?" Cherry prompted, drawing my gaze to her. She sat rigid in her chair, her shoulders straight and her jaw clenched tightly. It was obvious that she was uncomfortable with the conversation. Not necessarily disgusted, but certainly not comfortable. "He's okay now?"

"He's better now," Cinnamon nodded in agreement, bobbing her head up and down in three rapid successions. "Last I heard, he'd finally gotten his GED and was working at his dad's law office, doing a lot of filing." The words seemed to carry a tinge of grief that was matched by her somber expression. Another long moment of silence passed before her eyes met mine again, searching. "You're a mutant, aren't you?"

The question startled me as it exited her lips in a calm and smooth fashion. She ade it sound like such a simple question, like she had just asked my shoe size, as though she had merely asked if I was enjoying the weather. But, it wasn't a simple question, and it certainly didn't have an easy answer.

"Ah- Yeah, Ah am," I managed choppily, my heart thudding wildly in my chest. "At least, Ah used to be. Ah took the cure as soon as Ah could. Ain't been- Well, ain't exactly been one for about three months now."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I simply waited. Their reactions were completely different, and I couldn't help but feel a little amazed at how different the seemingly similar girls actually were. Cinnamon seemed satisfied as she smiled at me, a knowing look on her face. But, Cherry, Cherry seemed blown away by the news. Always known for her rather perfect posture, she was leaning back in her chair sloppily, a dazed expression on her face.

"Ah know that this ain't easy," I tried to get the words to form around my suddenly thick tongue. "But, Ah know y'all two deserve the truth. Ah should've told yah from the beginning, Ah know that now. Ah'm just hopin' that y'all ain't gonna hold it against meh, that somehow our friendship is strong enough fah somethin' lahke this." As I stared at them, I found myself clinging to the hope, the need, for them to understand and accept the part of me that I'd kept hidden from them. I'd told them that my name was Rogue, and yet I'd been acting like Marie for so long that I couldn't help but feel so disconnected from the girl that I'd become that warm day in my bedroom with Cody.

Cinnamon was the first to speak, and she said the words that I needed so desperately to hear. "It's okay, hun," she reassured me, her tear-laden lashes fluttering as she smiled across the table at me. "I understand. I really do."

But, Cherry seemed less sure, less able to accept the news. Her eyes were as wide as saucers, and her usually tanned complexion seemed pale, nearly translucent. She opened her mouth, her red-painted lips quivered, and then she shook her head once. Shakily, she lifted a hand and rested an elbow on the corner of the table, dropping her chin into her awaiting palm as she eyed me with a look of thoughtful contemplation.

"Cherry, Ah know that-" I began, only to have her cut me off with a jerky shake of her head.

"Rogue, you know that I really care about you, and that you're my friend," she murmured, her eyes glassier than normal. "But, this is a lot to take in over lunch, girl. It's_ a lot_. I- I thought there was something different about you, something that was a little off. Cin agreed with me when we first met you." A quick glance in Cinnamon's direction revealed that she was nodding slowly in agreement. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"Ah dunno either," I admitted foolishly, my hopes dying at least a little bit. "But, Ah do know that Ah feel at least a little bettah 'bout all this now. Y'all deserved to know. And Ah really hope that you will forgive me, and that y'all will still want to be mah friend. 'Cause, Ah ain't no different than yah or Cin. Ah'm still Rogue. Ah'm still meh." I wanted to sob, I wanted to beg them to understand and accept me and tell me that I'd made the right decision. I wanted to tell them about everything: Cody, my travel plans to Anchorage, the School, Bobby, the Cure. Even Logan.

Cinnamon seemed torn, her eyes flickering between me and the shaken woman beside her. I knew that they'd been close friends for years since meeting at _The Club_ ages ago. They had more history between them than I had with any of my former friends, even those before the School. Ideally, it wouldn't be out of the question for them to pick up their handbags, tell me to pick up the tab for lunch, and get the hell out of Dodge before I dragged them any further in. Instead, they seemed hesitant. United, and yet hesitant as I sat there waiting for them to rip into me and tear down the foundations of my new life.

"So, you're not now then?"

Blinking, I nodded my head in Cherry's direction, shuffling my hands back into my lap under the table so that I could keep them busy. Part of me wanted to explain what it was like to be free from the curse, what it was like to get a manicure and feel my bare fingertips brush over a glass, over a stranger's hand- and not have to worry. Part of me thought that if they could understand what it had been like for me _before_, that they could accept what I was like after.

"You- You've seen the news reports lately then?" she asked quietly, her dark brows furrowed. I could almost see the wheels turning in her mind, could see her piecing things together as she clawed at the lace tablecloth with her crimson-painted nails. "You know what's going on?"

"Of course," I huffed, straightening my shoulders in an attempt to look more affronted than I really was. "Ah know what's goin' on. Trust meh."

Silence fell over the table quickly, engulfing us in an uncomfortable reverie that I knew simply would not last. And, it didn't.

"They're saying that a lot of mutants aren't staying cured," Cinnamon continued hesitantly, her eyes thoughtful. "Come to think of it, my Aunt Sharon said something awhile back in an e-mail. A lot of the clinics that were issuing the cure, the ones that weren't destroyed in those terrorist attacks, that is, are apparently doing tests on mutants that got cured. To," she paused, perfectly sculpted brow lifted in contemplation, "make sure that they're still cured."

"Yeah," Cherry's head bobbed twice in rapid succession as she leaned forward, her meal completely forgotten. "Rogue, are you telling us this because- Well, because it's not working anymore?"

The question shocked me, and I involuntarily flinched as I looked down at my hands. It was a curse. It had been a burden not knowing touch, not being able to even get close to another human being, or even a cat for that matter. It had made me ache for some sort of physical touch, some sort of actual companionship with every passing day. At some point, Bobby had almost filled the void. But, just like my parents, eventually he distanced himself and physical touch was no longer something that he sought.

_Ah can't do it again_, I realized as I stared down at my naked hands, free from gloves.

It was liberating, really, simply knowing that some months ago I had been covered from head to foot in layers of clothing and scarves and gloves. I'd only been able to show skin from my neck up, and it was suffocating.

"Ah'm fahne," I managed to explain, the words shakier than I had expected. Nervously, I worried at the inside of my mouth and laced my fingers together, eyes drawn to the largest reminder of the fact that I was indeed fine. "Really, y'all," I attempted to reassure them when I finally noticed the worried expressions that marred their carefully made-up faces.

Slowly, Cinnamon exhaled, a long breath exiting her diaphragm shakily as she shook her head. Her unpainted lips curled into a smile as she tore off yet another piece of the olive bread and rolled it between her thumb and forefinger. "Okay then," she stated simply, nodding her head once before popping the bread into her mouth and chewing it thoughtfully. "Thank you for telling us, Rogue."

"Could you read minds too, Rogue?" Cherry asked suddenly, causing me to stiffen in my chair. Her eyes were filled with a mixture of wonder and trepidation as she stared at me. "I mean, what is it that you could do?"

The question sounded innocent enough, and yet I couldn't find a way to properly reply. Licking my lips, I drew in a quick breath and lifted one shoulder in a jerky shrug. "Ah hurt people," I found myself responding quietly. "When Ah touched people, Ah hurt 'em." Shame coursed through me as I slowly lifted my clasped hands and placed them on the edge of the table, drawing their gazes to my carefully manicured fingers.

_Ah put mah first boyfriend in a coma, _I thought to myself, fighting the urge to spill the horrible truth. _Ah nearly killed the first person that cared other than mah Momma and mah Daddy. Ah almost caused a war when Ah almost turned a bunch o' folks into some mutants. Hell, Ah almost died. And that's just the tip o' the iceberg, sugah.  
_

Instead, I kept the thoughts to myself and merely stared across the table at the two women that were my only real friends. They were the only people that I knew actually cared. Anna made sure I had food in my stomach and that my apartment was locked up tight. Hell, Victor made sure that I always wore the latest fashions and that I always knew just the right things to say to some of his so-called buddies. But, neither of them actually cared.

"It's okay," Cherry whispered, tears peppering her lashes as she hesitantly reached across the table and squeezed my hands. I saw the fear in her eyes, recognized it well. But, instead of pressing for more details, she accepted the explanation at face value.

Which is probably why both Cinnamon and Cherry were at a loss for words two weeks later when they walked into the lounge to find me kneeling over a patron's still body.

* * *

**A/N:** Any errors are my own, as I lack a beta and such. Love my spelling and grammar errors!


End file.
